HomeIs it a given that if you start a relationship with somebody that's with another person but is cheating on them (with you) that they will eventually do the same to you too?
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CatEyes10736
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Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
femme fatale- …is a Power Member.
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- Post n°1
Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by femme fatale Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:42 am
Supernova- The Book Chamber
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by Supernova Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:56 am
Yes, they weren't happy once, they went looking elsewhere once already, why wouldn't they do it again?
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by RedBedroom Sun Aug 28, 2011 3:33 am
I really believe this. I have a friend who was in that scenario and he hasn't cheated on her yet, but has talked to women online.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by Chris Sun Aug 28, 2011 8:07 am
If they were disloyal enough to back-stab their former partner, then it speaks to how fickle and untrustworthy their character is in general. What goes around comes around.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by tmontyb Sun Aug 28, 2011 8:37 am
Honestly, you can't really say. Maybe they weren't happy with their previous partner and are happier with you. I think if you're going to sit there and worry about it, then you don't need to be in that relationship.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by Alan Smithee Sun Aug 28, 2011 8:40 am
I wouldn't trust them. My wife once worked with a woman who was on her second marriage to a man with whom they both cheated on their former spouses. That marriage ended because of infidelity too. What a surprise.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by Shale Sun Aug 28, 2011 8:45 am
Agree with the consensus. Leopards don't change their spots.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by Nystyle709 Sun Aug 28, 2011 11:13 am
tmontyb wrote:Honestly, you can't really say. Maybe they weren't happy with their previous partner and are happier with you. I think if you're going to sit there and worry about it, then you don't need to be in that relationship.
. I don't like that "if he/she does it once, they'll do it again". We're all human beings who have the power to control ourselves and our actions. A person who cheats WANTS to cheat and if they don't want to cheat, then they won't do it. You have the option of being in that relationship or not. The only fault I would give to a cheater is not being upfront about it.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by CeCe Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:32 pm
tmontyb wrote:Honestly, you can't really say. Maybe they weren't happy with their previous partner and are happier with you. I think if you're going to sit there and worry about it, then you don't need to be in that relationship.
Everyone's situation is different. 
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by CatEyes10736 Sun Aug 28, 2011 6:47 pm
I agree with the consensus and with what tmontyb says as well. It could have been a case of them just not being fulfilled in their previous relationship and finding true happiness with who they cheated with...but at the same time, if you build your house on sand, chances are that it will sink. If the relationship began as an affair with lies and deceit, it shouldn't come to much of a surprise if it ends the same way.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by TSJFan4Ever Mon Aug 29, 2011 1:53 am
I think if they cheat with you, they're far more likely to cheat ON you but yeah - every situation is different and maybe they cheated because they were really unhappy and once they're happy, it won't happen again.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by Shale Mon Aug 29, 2011 9:50 am
I think the keyword here is 'cheating.'
A person who sneaks around, breaking a covenant he entered with a significant other is a cheater by my definition.
As opposed to ppl who have open marriages or an understanding that a partner may have sex outside of the relationship as long as there are no attachments that endanger the relationship.
So, a cheater is a cheater. It is a character flaw that will likely come up again when he (or she) gets bored or wants the thrill of a clandestine affair.
A person who sneaks around, breaking a covenant he entered with a significant other is a cheater by my definition.
As opposed to ppl who have open marriages or an understanding that a partner may have sex outside of the relationship as long as there are no attachments that endanger the relationship.
So, a cheater is a cheater. It is a character flaw that will likely come up again when he (or she) gets bored or wants the thrill of a clandestine affair.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by tmontyb Mon Aug 29, 2011 11:24 am
Opa Shale wrote:I think the keyword here is 'cheating.'
So, a cheater is a cheater. It is a character flaw that will likely come up again when he (or she) gets bored or wants the thrill of a clandestine affair.
Surprised you think that way. I definitely don't agree with that. Things in life are not that simple. I don't believe cheating to be a character flaw for everyone. Shit happens. Some people learn from it, other don't.
IMO, the open relationship thing is just a way to justify cheating.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by Alan Smithee Mon Aug 29, 2011 1:16 pm
If they don't like the old relationship, why can't they get out of it before starting the new one?
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by Supernova Mon Aug 29, 2011 2:12 pm
Alan Smithee wrote:If they don't like the old relationship, why can't they get out of it before starting the new one?
Exactly, this isn't Sicily where if you're in a bad marriage you have to resort to lupara.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by CeCe Mon Aug 29, 2011 2:39 pm
tmontyb wrote: Things in life are not that simple. I don't believe cheating to be a character flaw for everyone. Shit happens. Some people learn from it, other don't.
IMO, the open relationship thing is just a way to justify cheating.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by Tony Marino Mon Aug 29, 2011 3:00 pm
Yep
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by Shale Mon Aug 29, 2011 3:02 pm
tmontyb wrote: Surprised you think that way. I definitely don't agree with that. Things in life are not that simple. I don't believe cheating to be a character flaw for everyone. Shit happens. Some people learn from it, other don't.
IMO, the open relationship thing is just a way to justify cheating.
See, that is why I think some ppl here will be surprised that I don't like "cheating." While I have had some sexual flings with a couple of guys while I was married, my wife knew going in that I liked my nights out with the boys and this was no big secret or hindrance to our relationship. In your opinion this justification for cheating, where my definition of cheating is someone who sneaks around on an unsuspecting spouse.
Alan Smithee wrote:If they don't like the old relationship, why can't they get out of it before starting the new one?
This was the point I was trying to make. If a person is not happy in a relationship, try to fix it or get out of it so you can be free to indulge other ppl. Sneaking around with another person while still in a relationship is dishonest or what I consider cheating. IMO lying is a character flaw.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by FireIce918 Mon Aug 29, 2011 8:12 pm
I've always believed in the adage "the same way you get him is the same way you lose him."
However, every issue is different. I know a lady who cheated on her abusive significant other with a longtime friend who was trying to help her out of the situation (she did break up with her bf shortly after). Normally she's very big on commitment, and even though she knew she was technically wrong, she didn't feel that bad about it and didn't expect to be harshly judged considering the abuse she suffered.
However, every issue is different. I know a lady who cheated on her abusive significant other with a longtime friend who was trying to help her out of the situation (she did break up with her bf shortly after). Normally she's very big on commitment, and even though she knew she was technically wrong, she didn't feel that bad about it and didn't expect to be harshly judged considering the abuse she suffered.
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Re: Do you believe that if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you?
by Kral Wed Aug 31, 2011 5:57 am
Lies, deceit and dirty little secrets is a horrible way to start a lasting relationship. Sometimes it may be a case of the cheater being unhappy in their current relationship and finding happiness with who they're sneaking around with...but the vast majority of the time, I think cheating is just the result of people being greedy and liking the rush of doing something naughty and forbidden with their side lover. When THAT becomes their everyday relationship that they have to try and maintain, they get bored again and resort to the same old behavior.
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