A couple years ago I read about a sixty-two year old woman who gave birth, and I remember most of the comments on the article were negative; people stating that it was selfish for a woman that old to have a child, because she'd have a shorter time with the kid. If you feel the same way about a menopausal/just-post menopausal woman giving birth, how do you feel about men over sixty fathering babies? Is it equally 'selfish,' and something to avoid?

I don't think that its a good idea, not fair to the child if he only gets to know his parents for 10 or 15 years and the child's memories of them were that they were always old. How can you keep up with a baby at that age?

Our bodies have a natural cutoff point for having children. I don't think it's a good idea in general to have kids when you're that old, but whatever. I think more importantly, you should be able to care and provide for the child. If you're 60 yrs old and in great shape, whatever. I remember when I was working at this elementary school and I saw a grandfather drop his granddaughter off to school. I thought it was her grandfather, it was actually her father. And she was very affectionate towards him and he towards her and you can tell they adored each other. If you're able to keep up that up at that age, I guess it's no big deal.

There's a case in Italy where a 70-something year old man and 58-year-old woman had a baby and the court is saying they are too old so they can't raise it.

Now this takes me back to I guess it was a couple of years ago, when the Highlander star Adrian Paul, his first and to date only child, was born when he was 50, and as Chris said, when it's a woman that old or even in her late 40s, people say SHE is selfish, well what about the father? He'll be about 70 when she graduates high school, and yes then you take cases where the fathers are even older, if it's selfish for mothers to become mothers at younger ages than that, then it's equally selfish for the fathers to become fathers that much later down the line.

I believe in that Circle of Life shit. I am way past wanting to raise a child. The only ones in my future are the kind I can give back at the end of their visit. If someone wants to do otherwise, that's their business.

I have to admit that I have a sexist double standard when it comes to this. When an older lady has an 'ironic' pregnancy, the first thing I do is start to calculate how old she'll be when the child is this or that age. I might do the same thing when it's an older man who sires a child, but it doesn't come off quite as offensive to me, if the mother is relatively young. I figure if he dies of old age when they're a teenager, they'll still have their mom.

Nhaiyel wrote:

I have to admit that I have a sexist double standard when it comes to this. When an older lady has an 'ironic' pregnancy, the first thing I do is start to calculate how old she'll be when the child is this or that age. I might do the same thing when it's an older man who sires a child, but it doesn't come off quite as offensive to me, if the mother is relatively young. I figure if he dies of old age when they're a teenager, they'll still have their mom.

I'm the same way. For some reason it doesn't bother me much if a 60 or 70 year old man fathers a child with a woman in her 30's. I think the difference is that most older women who have babies have them with older men, so both parents are old during the child's life. Whereas most of the time when an older man fathers a baby, the mother is under 40.

I know a man who started another family with triplets at age 63. His wife was in her mid-40's with a raging biological clock, so she wanted a baby. He worked at home but was also Mr. Mom. One day he came to our office, and I noticed him snoozing away in his chair. He is a very large man and probably not in the greatest shape.

However, his oldest son (who was 36) offered to take in the children if something should happen to the parents. So at least there is some support there.

I don't think that it is a good idea for older men probably 55 plus to have kids. But it seems that a lot of the men having kids at that age are with younger women.

The way I see it is, who is anyone to judge when someone decides to have a child? You don't have to take care of the child. A child is a true blessing for those who want and hell even for those who don't. Live and let live. I would never want anyone to tell what I can and can't do with my life.

tmontyb wrote:

The way I see it is, who is anyone to judge when someone decides to have a child? You don't have to take care of the child. A child is a true blessing for those who want and hell even for those who don't. Live and let live. I would never want anyone to tell what I can and can't do with my life.

Judge, perhaps. But people are definitely entitled to their own opinions.

I think people should be able to choose when they want to be parents without any flac from society about it. While I do disagree with babies being born to young teens who are still children themselves, I don't have a problem with an older person having a child--they have gone through a lot of life and have it's experiences to bring to raising a child, as well as hopefully they are financially stable by that point, too.

Age shouldn't matter--saying someone only has 15 years with their kid, thinking they'll die before they graduate high school is asinine; a young parent could die from any number of things like a car accident, cancer, young-person heart-attack--whatever, and leave their kid orphaned.

I say if you're up for the job, physically, mentally and financially, no matter what age, then go for it.

Bluesmama wrote:

Judge, perhaps. But people are definitely entitled to their own opinions.

As the cliche says "opinions are like **sholes, everyone has one".

Seriously, I can't get worked up over an adult choosing to have a child.

On the other hand, there are plenty of "older parents" out there who have been doing a much better job of it than many young ones.