Why is it that I constantly hear "I want my child to have the best" from parents instead of "I want my child to earn the best?"

Not the same thing. There is nothing wrong with wanting your child to have the best of anything or even giving it to them. You just have to make sure you teach them values along with it. And its not always about being materialistic.

Nystyle709 wrote:

Not the same thing. There is nothing wrong with wanting your child to have the best of anything or even giving it to them. You just have to make sure you teach them values along with it. And its not always about being materialistic.

Bluesmama wrote:

Ditto.

I think it's because people are just naturally inclined to be protective of their children and to want a good (or better) life for them. From there, some kids get spoiled by the good intentions of their parents.

Nhaiyel wrote:

I think it's because people are just naturally inclined to be protective of their children and to want a good (or better) life for them. From there, some kids get spoiled by the good intentions of their parents.

I agree with what Tony is getting at. In fact, I almost posted something similar a while back when I got to thinking about how kids get "stuff" all year long. When I was growing up, I got "stuff" on Christmas and birthdays.

I recall wanting a fan for my bedroom. I mentioned it and it was a big deal to get something when it wasn't my birthday or Christmas. And that was a friggin' fan!

Kids today get video games and whatever else "just because."

One of my son's close friends gets VERY expensive stuff on a regular basis. His dad took a great paying job that keeps him out of state most of the year. So, the parents are totally lavishing him out of guilt. I am really disappointed in my son how jealous of that he is.

So, a few weeks ago, my son's dad was out of town for one night for work on a Tuesday night. Wednesday, my son wanted to go to McDonald's for dinner with friends. I said no because Dad's coming home and we are going to spend the evening together. Well, two days later, the friend's dad came home for nine days after being gone four months. The friend actually asked to come over that night after school. He didn't miss his dad.

Granted, the dad may be a jerk or something, but the lesson I tried to teach my son with that is that giving the kid all those gifts out of their guilt does not breed anything good.