I am possibly in a strange situation and hope for some thoughts on this. (long....sorry)

If the Jerry Springer show has a message board, it would be best suited for something like that and not such a nice place like this, but after I already typed a long message about it and deleted it, I talked to my guy about it, and he shed some light on it. It makes me really want to know what others think. So, here I am typing it all over again!

Using fake names, here is the situation...

My parents had two sets of couple friends when I was growing up. "Bob and Betty" and "Gary and Gina". It was always known by all the adults that Betty and Gary used to sleep together. Bob was much older than Betty, so he never seemed to care, and just laughed it off and Gina used to be very pissed but is very overweight so I guess that is why she put up with it. I remember all of that from when I was in Jr. High.

Now, years later, I am actually friends with Gary and Gina. They are more to me like an aunt and uncle I am close to than real friends, but they have really latched on to us and it works out ok.

Well, I did not know that all these years, Betty and Gary still do hook up. That is just so messed up to me. Well, Betty is a messed up woman now. She has been diagnosed bi-polar and her husband died about a year or less ago. The last time she hooked up with Gary was in the beginning of this month. She went to police and claimed rape.

Gina told me about all of this on Christmas. It was all just happening. They had just taken a DNA sample from Gary. So no official charges have been brought. They were told it is still under investigation. Hopefully, it ends with them realizing Betty is full of shit. I truly believe she is.

Anyway, Gina has indicated she wants me to be a character witness should Gary's lawyer want one. I am much younger than all of these people and have known them for years. And I have had problems in recent years with Betty due to her mixing her meds with drinking when we were in my home town and when we were at home. So, they think I am looking good for seemingly being biased to the idiot ways of Betty in recent years and the character of Gary.

So, first of all, I don't even know if in a case like this, a lawyer wants or needs a character witness. But my anxiety is due to more than just not wanting to testify.

Years ago when I was 11, Bob and Betty had two sons who were molested by a guy named Dale. Nobody believed that the boys were actually molested because Dale was held so highly in the community. My parents did not believe it. One weekend, they let me spend the night at Dale's and his wife's house. This was after the accusations were made, so I don't know what my parents were thinking. Dale and his wife invited me to a Halloween event and then to spend the night.

That night, Dale woke me up by rubbing my back. Clearly, he had intentions. I kept telling him how I was tired and it ended with the back rubbing. I felt bad for Bob and Betty's sons right away. The oldest one (not sure about the younger one, he wasn't around me at school) was suffering so much teasing with the investigation under way. You have to remember this is all going on in a very, very small town.

So, I did tell Bob and Betty's sons about what happened to me so that they would feel good that at least I believed them. But then they told Bob and Betty, who told police. So, I had investigators at the house twice at least, questioning me. I did not want to suffer the same teasing, or for my mom to be sad about it, so I always lied. I said it never happened. I have to add that I doubt Mom was ok with me spending the night. She basically had to go along with anything Dad was ok with.

So, anyway, that really sucked because I had so much pressure to tell the truth. I know I should have. My adult perspective tells me as much but I know my reasons back at that time for staying mum. In the end, Dale did go to prison for many years. He and his wife moved away many years ago when he got out.

Now, here I sit, nervous about all of the Dale stuff coming out via Betty should I be called to testify on Gary's behalf. I know that I am worrying about something that has not even happened yet. But I decided to post about this because I filled my guy in on all this and he told me something that may or may not be true. He said if it all comes out, there is no statute of limitations on Dale and the whole thing with him and me could go to trial if I told the truth now.

He said that even though he only ended up rubbing my back, it would look like intent and he could go to to trial for that. I DO NOT want all this to come out now.

See, my first thought was if Gary and Gina wanted me to testify, I could tell them that I lied all those years ago and may end up not looking good in court. But my guy says to not ever tell anyone else the real truth or it may be brought up as a charge against Dale.

You have to know that the whole deal with Dale did not really effect me that badly. I recall the day after, we visited my aunt and uncle and I had to take pics on my uncle's lap and that felt terrible because of what had happened with Dale the night before. But as I sit here at age 35, I really only recall that day after being awful...well, other than lying to all the adults who questioned me. That sucked too, but I felt like I was doing the best thing when I was lying.

The alleged rape (of Betty by Gary) took place in the county next to where Dad lives. But if things about Dale were to come up, that would be in the county my dad lives in and where all the people I know live in and that would be terrible. Maybe I am being too concerned about my own feelings than justice, but I feel like Dale spent time in jail for touching the private parts of those boys, and I don't want to go through a trial of what he did with me. Like my guy pointed out to me, if I told the truth to anyone official, it may result in charges and that may be something the small town county D.A. brings to light just to make himself look good. They don't get a lot of cases like this in that tiny county.

So, do you think I should tell Gary and Gina the truth about me lying all those years ago, or just act like all that never happened and then lie again if I were to be called to testify and the prosecutor bring it up per what Betty may tell him? I never lie about major things, so I just don't want to lie anymore about anything so serious.

I am probably worrying about something that will never take place. If Mom were still alive, I know for sure I would just continue to keep it all mum. But at this point, I don't even care if I ever had to tell Dad about Dale. He probably should know that he basically put me at risk that night. And I say that because Dad's first response to all this was so terrible. He at first sided with Betty when I said to him what was going on. Then I made him realize that couldn't be the case. I felt bad telling Dad last night after Gary and Gina left the house, but then this morning, Gina called to see if Betty stopped by to visit, and added she wanted me to tell my dad.

Thankfully, Betty did not visit. I woke up worried this morning she would and wondered if I should try to get her to go to the police station with me to tell the truth. It was so worrisome to me. But she never came, despite calling to say she would. I am glad she did not because I did not have the courage to ask her to tell the truth, and did not want to be rude to her to possibly make it worse for Gary.

I do know Gary is wrong for cheating on Gina all these years. But he does not deserve to have a woman claim rape when it wasn't. And this post would be a few miles longer if I detailed how messed up Betty has been in recent years. And I should add that Gary and Gina's daughter who is a young adult is such an excellent young woman. She doesn't deserve this shame.

If you read all this, I thank you. I am so sorry it got so long. I just really need some perspective on this.

I'm just not sure how much good a character witness could do this guy anyway. Either the evidence exists or it doesn't. Certainly not an expert but from what I can tell it would have a limited impact. By all accounts Ted Bundy seemed to be a wonderful guy-the kind you would be lucky to meet. But we all know the truth about that. I doubt they would want to do that though Red. It looks like if they did, that opens the door for the prosecution to call witnesses as well to testify in a negative way about his character. And to be honest if I didn't want to do it I'd just politely decline.

Thanks for the reply, Cece. I am hoping that this is an instance where a character witness would not help. I honestly don't even know if any family helped them financially to retain a lawyer. They could not get one on the phone today. I guess they all had today off. But they can't afford a lawyer on their own, but I think family would help them.

As strange as it sounds, it would be hard for me to decline any help. "Gina" had been a great help to my Mom when she was so ill and was the one person instrumental to getting Mom into the Hospice thing so she could pass away at home. I would have a difficult time denying her anything.

There is just so much history there. And I feel put out that just because I have this history, I may be asked to help.

I'd try to find someone well versed in the law & see if that issue could cause any problems. I really have a feeling it wouldn't. I doubt they would want to pursue that after all these years when nothing happened beyond what you said especially since so many years have passed. And it would require your cooperation I would think. But if you know a lawyer or can find a way to ask a few questions that might be a good idea. They may tell you that a character witness is of no use in a case like this anyway. That would definitely solve the problem as far as that goes. Maybe you could talk to someone with your local "legal aid". You need the advice of someone who knows the laws in your state. I'm thinking it's highly unlikely they would go after this guy just based on what you said about the situation.

First off... the statute of limitations has LONG since passed on you and Dale's incident. They cannot prosecute. Rape on an adult is usually 5-6 years, and child molestation is usually 5-6yrs after the child turns 18.

As far as all of that being brought up at trial to discredit you---you were 11yrs old. Questioning the credibility of a 35yr old woman because of something she may or may not have lied about when she was 11yrs old will make the prosecution look STUPID!

Character Witnesses are usually used for sentencing reasons. When my bro in law when to prison for triple murder, character witnesses were brought in during the sentencing phases in an attempt to avoid the death penalty. Now, a rape case is a matter of he said/she said---even with DNA. If she did not have any visible bruises or injuries it comes down to the credibility of the he/she.

If Betty is THAT crazy off the wall, the prosecution will not continue with this. I was at work one day and got a call that my apt was being searched by the police and there was an arrest warrant out for me. My schizophrenic sister claimed that pulled several guns on her and threatened her life. It took 5 months of me trying to prove to the DA that she was crazy (I had court transcripts where she told the judge I had video cameras in his chambers, that I casted spells to make the lights explode her kidneys, and that I enter her house thru the computer/power lines to strangle her at night). They did not want to hear ANYTHING I had to say. Eventually the prosecutor interviewed her, and when she said that my bro had satellites in the sky and attacked me in court, they dismissed the charges.

As far as what you should do? If you are subpoenaed you have to report to court. You MUST tell the truth. In most cases, the penalty for perjury is 20yrs! Why lie? However, the prosecutor MAY interview you ahead of time, in which case you can point out the craziness of Betty--the things that you have first hand knowledge of. He will WANT to know if there is anything that could impeach the witness and ruin the case before he moves forward. And the fact that Betty/Gary had a years long relationship wont make much of a difference either---even a wife can be raped.

hoped this helped. I don't really think you have anything to worry about, so relax. If the prosecutor investigates betty's mental history and finds that she is on anti-psychoticsl---the case is over. Good luck and we are here if you need us!

wants2laugh wrote: I don't really think you have anything to worry about, so relax. If the prosecutor investigates betty's mental history and finds that she is on anti-psychoticsl---the case is over. Good luck and we are here if you need us!

CeCe wrote:

Thanks wants 2 and cece. Your words make a lot of sense. I really feel like this is going to be thrown out of court. So my worry about being questioned or called to testify most likely will not happen. But I am so sick over this, I wish I never knew any of them and that my dad had a higher choice of friends.

RedBedroom wrote:

Thanks wants 2 and cece. Your words make a lot of sense. I really feel like this is going to be thrown out of court. So my worry about being questioned or called to testify most likely will not happen. But I am so sick over this, I wish I never knew any of them and that my dad had a higher choice of friends.

Hope it all works out soon

Thanks CeCe. I will update when I know what is going on.

Then I was thinking... if i was a prosecutor i would be seeing you as biased and show it for the jury "Ms. Red, you are an old friend of Gary/Gina are you not? Gina cared for your sickly mother and you regard her highly for it, do you not? You would do anything to repay your obligations for your mother's caregiver, would you not? Including lie to try to help her husband get off of this crime???"

Trust me... a GOOD defense lawyer would not put you on the stand. And as defense lawyers go... he could have a public defender, not the best choice, but he is guaranteed a lawyer.

CeCe wrote:I'm just not sure how much good a character witness could do this guy anyway. Either the evidence exists or it doesn't. Certainly not an expert but from what I can tell it would have a limited impact. By all accounts Ted Bundy seemed to be a wonderful guy-the kind you would be lucky to meet. But we all know the truth about that. I doubt they would want to do that though Red. It looks like if they did, that opens the door for the prosecution to call witnesses as well to testify in a negative way about his character. And to be honest if I didn't want to do it I'd just politely decline.