So, at six this morning, I had a total freak out moment.

I was putting laundry from the washer to the dryer and saw what looked like a "whip it." Those nitrous oxide things kids are getting high from....

So, I saw it, freaked out and immediately asked my son's dad if it was something he had for some reason. He said, "No." So I opened the door to my son's room and yelled his name. Then I said, "What the fuck is this?"

He sat up in bed and immediately said, "That's the co2 cartridge for my car for tech ed."

I believe him. I looked it up online and see they look the same. I believe him because he was totally asleep when I yelled his name and asked him and he did not hesitate. Of course, the tech ed. teacher will have an email from me Monday morning to verify it."

This week has really been an intro to the teen years for me. There is a friend, "V" my son hangs with who I really never cared for. He has a quick temper and likes to fight and both he and my son know how to push each other's buttons. So, I don't think they were a good pair. But, "V" and my son have been acting cool together lately so I have been fine with them hanging out. But Wednesday, a group of five boys were hanging out and V decided to go open an unlocked car in a parking lot. Some adult saw it and called the police. So when my son was late, I called him and heard the dreaded words, "I am with the police right now."

All the boys were detained but THANKFULLY the witness was able to tell police it was just V in and around the car. My son made the mistake of not leaving when V hopped the fence leading to the parking lot. I wouldn't tell my son this, but at that age, I probably would not have left either. He had three other friends not going into the car. So, all in all, it was probably a really good teachable moment for him to know to get the hell outta there when someone does something illegal.

But I am really struggling with the fact of trusting my son. I want him to be able to go around and hang out but I am so fearful of him making stupid decisions. He is so intelligent, articulate and kind...but it doesn't take much for a kid to just become an idiot.

I would love to hear from those of you with experience in raising teens. Did your teen give you issue and if so, how did you know how to trust? I am not so naive to think subtracting "bad kids" from his life will keep him fine. He could be one of the "bad kids."

I just don't know how much to harp without making him rebel but I can't just sit around and let him hang with people who are doing bad things.

"I am with the police right now." That's probably worse than, "I'm from the Federal government and I'm here to help." I feel for ya Red. I can't tell you what I did in that situation because my daughter didn't hang around with jerks. I guess tell your son that you appreciate that he had more brains than to go along with Vidiot and you expect it to stay that way. Tell him you know peer pressure is strong but remind him that the Wrath of Mom is worse.

LOL. Your story of finding the nitrous reminds me of the time my mother found a bong in my brother's room and asked me what it was. I thought quick and came up with something that she bought but she eventually did call the cops on him because she found a bunch of those little wooded coffee stirrers in his desk and thought he was using them to cut up lines of coke or something. Sometimes a coffee stirrer is just a coffee stirrer. Memories, memories.

well i dont have kids... but from my own upbringing and "assisting" with my nephews... i can tell you that parenting is ALL about open communication. My nephews tell my sister everything-- i mean, they are open about masterbation (she would actually buy the 3 boys dollar store lotion cause they would try to use her expensive stuff for the silky smooth feeling lol. then she would throw the cheap bottle at them). they would talk to her about who they were/weren't having sex with. my one nephew from the time he was 10 was attracted to asian women-- he was in ecstasy as a kid when in rush hour 2 their was a scene with wall to wall asian women "i've died and gone to heaven" was his response. then when he had sex with one at 19yrs old (in the basement of my sis' house) i remember he came running up thru the house screaming "i did it! i did it! I tapped Amy! I got my asian chick!" the damn girl was still in the basement! LOL

When my one nephew was 17, he was going with a 16yr old girl... she even spent the night one time, claiming that her parents never cared what she did. Then this huge 6ft4 guy about 270 pounds bangs on the front door about a month later--- "Your son took my daughter's virginity". My sister flipped out "Who the hell you think you are screaming and yelling at me pal? and believe me--- your kid wasnt no virgin cause my son told me how good she was at sucking dick! So go yell at her.. and dont freakin come back on my property again!" this coming from a 5ft nothing 100 pound woman... it was just hysterical to watch! lol

when it comes to pranks and drugs and such... i think you have already taught your kid right from wrong by the teenage years... and if you give them the confidence to say no to peer pressure, and you acknowledge them when they do well in school and make the right choices, it is a reward system-- just like with dogs.

When I was 12, i was with 3 friends hanging in the mall. they decided to go into different stores and try to shoplift something. i didnt do it, but i didnt call my mom to come pick me up either--- maybe i would have if my mom was more like my sis. by 13.. two of my girlfriends were having sex... i didnt do it just because they were--- i DID do it with my bf a week before my 15th birthday.. but honestly, i just wanted to. he had been trying to get me to do it for 2yrs already... so it wasnt pressure.

all thru high school, i never drank or did any sort of drugs. i never smoked either. my friends knew that i did not do any of that stuff, so they never even offered it to me. my friends respected my choices and never tried to pressure me when it came to this subject. it always made me laugh and i was even pissed and offended when my mother would search my room looking for drugs. my sister knew me better and she looked for condoms! lol but when she found one (at 14ys old, a bunch of kids shot condoms around the roller rink like rubber bands -- it was pure clean fun--- but a broken one got stuck on my clothes or somethin) instead of being happy that condoms were GOOD things.. she flipped out. again i got lectured for something i wasnt even doing. i will admit that there were times that i got lectured about things, and i thought "damn, if im getting in trouble anyway, i might as well go do it!"

it was already established in my personality what was rigth from wrong and what i would do or not do. did i do stupid things, sure... all kids do. but honestly... my stupid mistakes were of the sexual nature, and had my mother been open with me to talk about sex, i may not have made the decisions i did.

u just have to trust ur kid, and reward teh good... discuss the bad. once my nephew had loaned money to a girl in school (they literally were baptised together so were lifelong friends). but someone in the high school saw him give her money and accused them of being in a drug deal for pharmacy drugs. They called the cops on my nephew and told my sister that they wanted a drug test. My sis asked the kid point blank in (away from the school personnel) - "What happened, tell me the truth so i can deal with this. did u guys have pills? and if i get you tested will anything turn up? including pot?" she was a little nervous not knowing whether to believe him or not...but he swore up and down that it was just a loan, and that he didnt do any drugs at all.

She took him to the hospital and ALL of the tests came back negative: pot, narcotics, etc. When she took teh results back to the school, their response was "you didnt test him for alcohol". He wasnt accused of drinking! So then my sis got pissed--- the school STILL insisted that the pill/money exchange happened and disallowed him from prom and walking at graduation. My sister found out later that the school NEVER had a drug test that they requested come back NEGATIVE... so they did not know how to handle the situation. she was going to fight them, sue them about prom and grad.. but my nephew was soooo frustrated by that and just wanted school over that he said to drop it.

my sis was very open, and she has 3 GREAT sons who are 21, 23, and 25. the oldest is married in the coast guard and hs a baby. the second one works an is very sexual, but is a great caring individual. and the 21 yr year old is attending Rutgers in his 3rd year and working his way to pay for school. even today as adults, the boys are still very open.

the 23 yr old was telling me about how he got freaked when a chick aske him to slap her during sex.. its not his thing. the 25yr old has had a pantyhose fetish since he was 2 when he would feel up our legs if we were wearing them.. then steal them from my sister's laundry and masterbate under the bed. when the 21 yr old first met his gf, they were 20 and 18, and when they tried to have sex it was really painful for her. they tried several times before bringing it up with my sis. she took the girl to the doctor and they discovered that the girls uterus is misshapened. they needed to use certain positions to enjoy it--- and also learned that pregnancy would end in miscarriage. the girl was sooo happy when my sis helped them, cause she said that she coudl never talk to her mom about something like that.

so talk talk talk. when they were really young, she actually set aside "open talk time" so that the kids could ask ANY questions they wanted, talk about ANYTHING they wanted... and no matter what they said, they wouldnt get punished for it. she told them "your friends are stupid. give me the info i need to help you make the right decisions". so talk talk talk