Sad

My neighbor kid, who turned 18 last February and moved to another state to be with his mom and stepdad, and help them with their 3 foster kids, thought he was going to have it made out there and he'd get a new car, get a great job, blah blah blah. Big surprise, his parents help him find a car to buy immediately with no money down and he must make $450 monthly payments every month, which he is just scraping by to get, without the insurance, gas, etc. The three adults cannot handle 3 toddler children, he's gone from one job to another for various reasons, and he finally said he was tired of it and wanted to come home, and his dad here said he is not coming home because he's got to pay off that car which is still I think $4,000 to collect on.

My mother found out last night the real reason why he wanted to come back here, being in another state, he'd have to get a driver's license for there, and when he was told he'd have to take the written test again, he said no. It turns out he didn't take the test here, he got it passed because they know him and his dad, that old story, but to do it out there, he wouldn't have a chance because he can't read the test and know the answers, his reading comprehension was always poor, and so are his brother and sister's, and despite everything we've tried with them, they are not going to fare any better when their turn comes, this I know.

So, with him stuck out there, my mom said he's going to have to work on his reading to pass the test to get his new license, but I pointed out that's not going to happen because nobody in their family reads or thinks it has any importance, even when it does, they can't think about that, they can't be bothered by that, they don't have time for that, etc. So he's not going to get any help so he's not going to get his license so he won't even be able to drive the car he's slaving away every single month for in the first place.

So, I feel bad for him, but at the same time I find it hard to because we warned him what he was going to get into, and no, he knew everything, we don't know anything, we're stupid, we don't have any life experience, it's going to be so great for him, yeah right...and also I can't help feeling a little big of that 'I told you so' because we told him for years that he would have to pick up his reading to get anywhere, and it sure as hell wasn't like I wasn't there to help him, but nooooo, he could never be bothered, he must always play and watch TV and hang with his friends and go riding around. Well he's sure paying for it now, and the sad part is he doesn't even know it, he still thinks he's always right, we're always stupid, etc.

His family wouldn't bother with tests to find anything like that and the school's just glorified babysitting where three classes are just to take naps in, which he did all through high school, then he also worked in the cafeteria so that also excused him from some of his classes, not that I think it would've made much difference anyway. They learned by example and the example their parents taught is that nobody reads, it's boring, it's stupid, it's pointless, which also explains a lot of the problems the parents have, especially with money and the severe lack of. How it came to this though we still can't figure out because the grandmother who had a large part in raising all of them was a school teacher who actually knew what she was doing and worked with all the kids when they were little.

Sell the car and come home.

Just default on the loan. This kid doesn't sound like someone who needs to worry about a credit rating. He's got much bigger problems.

Alan Smithee wrote:Just default on the loan. This kid doesn't sound like someone who needs to worry about a credit rating. He's got much bigger problems.

Unfortunately any and all common logic escapes him because he wasn't raised with any, so really he's not smart enough to think of something like that, and unless his mom or his stepdad suggests it, then it's stupid and it won't work and it's a waste of time, for the whole family being in debt and half of it having a criminal history, they're the only ones in the whole world who know anything and the rest of us are clueless idiots who 'just don't get it'.

Supernova wrote:


...they're the only ones in the whole world who know anything and the rest of us are clueless idiots who 'just don't get it'.

They can keep "it".

Alan Smithee wrote:

They can keep "it".

Yeah really. They think everybody is so jealous of them and that they're so rich, when they rent everything instead of buying it for a cheaper price, they never have any food in the fridge, and they hardly get one vehicle paid off before buying another one, and not paying the rent half the time, and always in the papers for owing money to the phone company or something, they think just because they have a 6 foot TV or a new SUV, or even 'a fountain in the back yard full of Diet Coke and Captain Morgan' I'll believe that one when I see it, that everybody likes them and thinks they're rich. They're too stupid to know we read the papers and know they can't even pay their phone contracts, let alone AFFORD anything nice, they just have it until they trade up or have it revoked for not paying.

Oh, and I guess I forgot to mention this one earlier, for being 18 and a high school graduate, he called a few nights ago to have me look up a house that his mother's looking at getting, and he had to spell the street address, because he doesn't know how to read the word ANCHOR. I mean there is no way you can look at anybody in this picture and say it's not as bad as we think.

It seems strange that he would want to come home for any reason having to do with not wanting to take the test in another state. He's already cheated his way into a license in one state, why not just ignore the fact he should be getting a license in his new state of residence?

RedBedroom wrote:It seems strange that he would want to come home for any reason having to do with not wanting to take the test in another state. He's already cheated his way into a license in one state, why not just ignore the fact he should be getting a license in his new state of residence?

That's a good point except I guess he's got a grain of common sense knowing he needs a license to drive. Or is there anything else that he would need that of all things for, something that another form of ID wouldn't work for? Granted I think that's about his ONLY form of I.D.

Well, technically, he has a license. I know you are supposed to switch it over when you move to a new state, but it's not like it's an offence that would result in jail.

Since he broke the law to get a license in the first place, it's amusing he would now be worried about going through the correct procedure in the new state.

My guess is he's more comfortable at home and is using that as an excuse to move back. Maybe his family in the new state is putting on the hard press for him to get his shit together and he's just not into it.

i dont know if he is telling you the truth. Who is the car registered to? He couldnt register the car without having a license in that state...which means that the car has registration and plates from the original state? His license and car would match the same address at his dad's? He doesnt even need to change it. Unless the car is in his mom's name, and if so, he still wouldnt need to change licenses. And if the car is in either of his parent's names, then it really doesnt matter if he pays it or not---but I'm guessing that it is probably in his dad's name and that is why his dad said he needs to pay of the car. Think about it, there is NO way an 18yr old kid got approved for a car loan with no money down, especially in this economy.

As far as the reading disability... guess what... NJ gives the test verbally for those with learning disabilities, or for other reasons cannot read....so im sure that other states do too.

You can register a car in my state without a license from here.

are you serious? in NJ you must provide license and insurance info to get registered. i think our license numbers are still imprinted on the registrations.

our insurance rates are determined by our driving record and our credit rating (doesnt that suck).