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tewaz1
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    When/If You Marry

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    • Post n°1

    When/If You Marry Empty When/If You Marry

    Post by Jason B. Mon Sep 20, 2010 8:40 am

    Would you change your last name to match your husbands, or keep yours? That question is for the women and the gays.

    Straight Guys, would you be upset if your wife didn't wear your last name?
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    • Post n°2

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    Post by Supernova Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:42 am

    I've gone through my whole life with my own name, why would I take another?
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    • Post n°3

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    Post by stonestatic Mon Sep 20, 2010 12:54 pm

    I'm gay so if I ever marry it will be to a man and I imagine I'll just use a hyphen of mine and his.
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    • Post n°4

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    Post by Nystyle709 Mon Sep 20, 2010 12:59 pm

    I'll take his last name. Why not? My mother still uses my father's surname and they aren't even married anymore. If I was that adamant about it, then I'd just hyphenate the two names.
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    • Post n°5

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    Post by MandyPerfumeGirl Mon Sep 20, 2010 3:46 pm

    I would absolutely take his last name. It's slightly old-fashioned, but romantic.
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    • Post n°6

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    Post by GrayWolf Mon Sep 20, 2010 3:52 pm

    I couldn't make her take my name, but I would be insulted if she didn't. Same last name show family solidarity. Just doesn't seem right to me to be out in public and for a married couple to be introduced as "Mr. Smith" and "Ms. Jones". No it's Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
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    • Post n°7

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    Post by Chris Mon Sep 20, 2010 4:15 pm

    GrayWolf wrote:I couldn't make her take my name, but I would be insulted if she didn't. Same last name show family solidarity. Just doesn't seem right to me to be out in public and for a married couple to be introduced as "Mr. Smith" and "Ms. Jones". No it's Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

    I agree. There should be some sort of familial cohesion. I would be okay with her hyphenating her maiden name with mine, even though I think that's kind of tacky, but I would be put off if she didn't wear my last name at all.
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    • Post n°8

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    Post by Dan70 Mon Sep 20, 2010 5:22 pm

    Kind of hard for me to imagine, because at this point I don't see myself ever marrying. But if I did, I would take it personally if my wife opted to not use my last name. It's not terrible long, it doesn't begin with a letter toward the end of the alphabet, nor is it hard to pronounce or spell. Why not?
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    • Post n°9

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    Post by Supernova Mon Sep 20, 2010 5:38 pm

    MandyPerfumeGirl wrote:I would absolutely take his last name. It's slightly old-fashioned, but romantic.

    What's so romantic about it? Why doesn't the guy ever take the wife's name?
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    • Post n°10

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    Post by Nystyle709 Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:08 pm

    Supernova wrote:

    What's so romantic about it? Why doesn't the guy ever take the wife's name?

    Do you have your father's last name?
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    • Post n°11

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    Post by Supernova Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:11 pm

    Yeah so what? Why swap one man's last name for another? Is civilization going to end if men take their wives' last names? Is that somehow not 'familial cohesion'?
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    • Post n°12

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    Post by Nystyle709 Mon Sep 20, 2010 6:21 pm

    Supernova wrote:Yeah so what? Why swap one man's last name for another? Is civilization going to end if men take their wives' last names? Is that somehow not 'familial cohesion'?

    LOL. Isn't that the traditional thing to do though? Get married, take your husband's last name, have a family, everybody in the family has the same name. Hey, if you get married and your husband decides to take your last name instead, then good for you. You a bad bitch if you can make him do that.
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    • Post n°13

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    Post by Alan Smithee Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:02 pm

    Supernova wrote:Yeah so what? Why swap one man's last name for another? Is civilization going to end if men take their wives' last names? Is that somehow not 'familial cohesion'?

    Men don't take their wives' names because we live in a patriarchal society and good luck changing that aspect of it. That being said, if a woman wants to keep her maiden name then that's what she should do and if it was a problem for her fiance then she should think twice about saying "I do". All these years later I can't remember if my wife and I even discussed it but if it wouldn't have been a problem for me if she kept her name. That being said, it's just easier for most women. You want to expalin your choice to the depatment of motor vehicles, banks, your kid's school, etc., go for it.
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    • Post n°14

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    Post by Nhaiyel Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:07 pm

    Most likely, I will. I don't have a problem with the idea of taking my husbands last name, but one thing I probably wouldn't do is sign off as "Mrs. Whatever." I would, instead, do the Ms. thing, because I don't think everyone is entitled to know if I'm married or not.
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    • Post n°15

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    Post by Supernova Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:13 pm

    Nhaiyel wrote:Most likely, I will. I don't have a problem with the idea of taking my husbands last name, but one thing I probably wouldn't do is sign off as "Mrs. Whatever." I would, instead, do the Ms. thing, because I don't think everyone is entitled to know if I'm married or not.

    I never got that, what the hell IS Ms.? Ms. is what's in a bottle in an Edgar Allen Poe story, what is it in reference to a woman's status?
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    • Post n°16

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    Post by Alan Smithee Mon Sep 20, 2010 11:37 pm

    It's a product of the feminist movement. Miss = unmarried. Mrs. = married. Ms. = ? I guess women just wanted to have the option of ambiguity like men have. That leads me to this question Supernova. If and when you marry...let's say Mr. Quasar... and assuming he greets your idea of him changing his name to Mr. Supernova with what the fuck?! , would you stay Miss Supernova or be Mrs. Supernova?
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    • Post n°17

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    Post by Nystyle709 Tue Sep 21, 2010 1:35 am

    I thought Ms. was the same as Miss, but only shortened. In the situations where I've seen it used, Miss would be used for a girl who is extremely young....like younger than 18. Then Ms. would be used in reference to an unmarried woman who is older.
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    • Post n°18

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    Post by Kral Tue Sep 21, 2010 1:39 am

    Nystyle709 wrote:I thought Ms. was the same as Miss, but only shortened. In the situations where I've seen it used, Miss would be used for a girl who is extremely young....like younger than 18. Then Ms. would be used in reference to an unmarried woman who is older.

    No "Ms." is totally ambiguous. It means grown woman, married or single. Pretty much she would rather not be defined by her martial status either way.
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    • Post n°19

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    Post by Nystyle709 Tue Sep 21, 2010 1:43 am

    ^^^^ Interesting. Learn something new everyday.
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    • Post n°20

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    Post by tewaz1 Tue Sep 21, 2010 3:59 am

    My partner's last name is Wagner, and mine is Wells. He is a Dr. of physics, and I m going for a doctorate in biology.
    A good friend of our suggested that when we are able to marry, we combine our names, that way we can publish joint papers under the name Dr. Waggles. hehe
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    • Post n°21

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    Post by CatEyes10736 Tue Sep 21, 2010 10:28 am

    I'm not that uptight a feminist, most likely I'll convert to his last name.
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    • Post n°22

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    Post by Chris Thu Jun 16, 2011 10:10 am

    My last name starts with a letter toward the end of the alphabet, and my girlfriend has semi-jokingly claimed that it would be an inconvenience if we got married and she had to switch from her last name, which starts with 'B.' We'll see. What I said earlier stands though, I would be put off if she didn't use my last name.
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    • Post n°23

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    Post by Shale Thu Jun 16, 2011 10:34 am

    I was officially married once and my wife did the traditional thing and took my last name. Being black and being named Williams is quite common so maybe she just liked the uniqueness of being the ONLY black person with my last name. big grin

    We eventually separated and on the divorce paper by default it said she would take her maiden name - to which se objected and the judge had to put a line thru that and initial. She kept my last name for the rest of her life.

    I woulda been good with her keeping her maiden name (she actually was previously married but didn't use that assholes last name). She actually did write it hyphenated on occasion for convenience of identity.

    As for hyphenated names being tacky, that is a cultural bias and some ppl are quite comfortable being named Jose Martinez-Diego-Garcia-Espinosa-Guerrero-dela Jolla.
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    • Post n°24

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    Post by TSJFan4Ever Sat Jun 18, 2011 5:17 am

    I'd probably take his last name but if he wanted to take my last name, I'd be fine with that. Had a guy I knew do that 'cause he HATED his last name and always had. Got sick of the teasing he got as a kid, so he jumped at the chance to change his last name. I can't remember the name now but I do remembering thinking that I didn't blame him.
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    • Post n°25

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    Post by (Oh!) Rob Petrie Sat Jun 18, 2011 10:25 am

    I'd want us to have the same last name, personally. I guess it depends on who has the cooler last name. Blue Cool

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