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Subject: With the 50+% Divorce rate Mon Oct 18, 2010 5:08 am

Do you think that "til death do you part" should be taken out of marriage vows?

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:00 am

Well let's face it, it doesn't have the same ring it once did, but on the other hand, you know what they say, expect the worst but hope for the best.

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Mon Oct 18, 2010 11:13 am

No, because there are some marriages that still do last until death do us part.

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:00 pm

Hell no! If you aim for mediocrity you'll get worse. If people can't be faithful to the vows, all of them, then they shouldn't be getting married. What happens if somebody wants to sleep with other people, take out the 'forsaking all others" part? Maybe take out the "for better or worse" part cause you plan to ditch your spouse at the first sign of trouble.

If you can't commit to all the vows, you shouldn't be getting hitched. We shouldn't sponsor abuse of marriage by validating it.

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:06 pm

It should stay part of it because it is exactly what marriage should be, even if it only ends up that way half the time.

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:51 pm

Chris wrote:: Do you think that "til death do you part" should be taken out of marriage vows?

You are of course referring to just one traditional, Western, Christian Church derived wedding vow that possibly goes back to the Dark Ages, but is quite archaic.

"I John Smith take thee Sue Donym to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour, and cherish, 'til death do us part, and thereto I plight thee my troth."

This is not a necessary vow and nowadays ppl are making their own that may or may not contain any of these sentiments. You have to remember that life was different then and had not changed too much in our agrarian mostly Christian culture. Of course it was easier to stay together for life because you were lockstep in the culture with no options. And, the divorce rate may have been lower but ppl stuck in miserable marriages were higher. One should not stay in a marriage only out of duty or fear. Did you know in most of the Western world up to the mid 20th Century, it was legal for a man to beat his wife? Fuck tradition!

Now my marriage only lasted two decades, not a lifetime but ppl do change over time and have to go their separate ways. The concept of lifelong marriage also came from a time when the life expectancy was less than half a century.

Also, I was in the sexual revolution. Many lasting relationships never did get married - and gay relationships don't have that option anyhow in most of the world. My wife and I got married after living together (in sin?) for three years. We made our own vows:

I wish to live with you
as my lawful mate
just as I have lived these years
as your friend,
Supporting your hopes,
Reflecting your thoughts,
and Sharing your love.

Our Souls are one
Tied by the chord of Karma,
And as a symbol of this Bond
I give you this Ring.

With the 50+% Divorce rate 1995robbrenrings

With the 50+% Divorce rate 1995robbrenrings

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Mon Oct 18, 2010 8:31 pm

No. Why should the vows have to conform to the divorce rate? There are plenty of people who do take those vows seriously. No need to penalize them because others choose not to work at their marriage. I don't think people should get divorced until they've exhausted all of the possibilities.

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Mon Oct 18, 2010 8:41 pm

Forgiveness_Man wrote:: Hell no!

Hey, hey, hey...please watch your @#!$% language! But I agree on not setting the bar low.

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Mon Oct 18, 2010 8:44 pm

alan smithee wrote:: Hey, hey, hey...please watch your @#!$% language! But I agree on not setting the bar low.

NEVA!

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:30 am

I think couples should write their own vows today.

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Tue Oct 19, 2010 12:33 pm

CatEyes10736 wrote:: I think couples should write their own vows today.

Great idea:

Him: I shall love you forever until that Hooters Waitress flirts with me for enough Thristy Thursdays in a row that I develop a false sense of being more attractive than I actually am, causing me to buy a sports car that I barely fit into with our joint account a month before I leave your ass.

Her: I shall love you forever until I blame you for never going to college though it was my choice all along to stay home and raise the kids. I will take my restment to the mall and shop away our joint savings to fill the void. Once I leave you, the kids shall blame you, and I will look like the victim.

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:24 pm

RedBedroom wrote:: Great idea:

Him: I shall love you forever until that Hooters Waitress flirts with me for enough Thristy Thursdays in a row that I develop a false sense of being more attractive than I actually am, causing me to buy a sports car that I barely fit into with our joint account a month before I leave your ass.

Her: I shall love you forever until I blame you for never going to college though it was my choice all along to stay home and raise the kids. I will take my restment to the mall and shop away our joint savings to fill the void. Once I leave you, the kids shall blame you, and I will look like the victim.

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Tue Oct 19, 2010 1:37 pm

With the 50+ divorce rate, that line should be all the more stressed.

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Sun Oct 24, 2010 4:59 pm

I do think "'Til Death Do Us Part" has become a joke. The likelihood of a couple marrying today being separated by death is slim. People should just live together in sin so that when the relation inevitably ENDS, you can just walk away without having to try and slither from under those stifling legal "vows".

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:12 pm

Marc wrote:: I do think "'Til Death Do Us Part" has become a joke. The likelihood of a couple marrying today being separated by death is slim. People should just live together in sin so that when the relation inevitably ENDS, you can just walk away without having to try and slither from under those stifling legal "vows".

Except what if something happens to your spouse, and at the hospital they say you don't qualify as the next of kin so they call in your would-be in-laws for the medical decisions instead of you? Common law marriages still have to, last I checked, be in effect for a certain amount of time before you count as family.

Subject: Re: With the 50+% Divorce rate Sun Oct 24, 2010 7:52 pm

Supernova wrote:: Except what if something happens to your spouse, and at the hospital they say you don't qualify as the next of kin so they call in your would-be in-laws for the medical decisions instead of you? Common law marriages still have to, last I checked, be in effect for a certain amount of time before you count as family.

Plan ahead like gay couples do with a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care Decisions.

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