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    Should fathers be able to 'opt out' of parethood?

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    Should fathers be able to 'opt out' of parethood? Empty Should fathers be able to 'opt out' of parethood?

    Post by Chris Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:35 am

    A woman who becomes pregnant has the choice to either carry the baby to term, or to abort. Do you think that a father should have a similar option, but instead of abortion -- he can 'opt out' of his paternal rights (and responsibilities) to the child, should the mother decide to give birth?
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    Post by Shale Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:23 am

    Yes, that would be fair. But don't expect the law to be fair.
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    Post by CeCe Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:24 am

    That's a question I've always thought about too. Obviously there are moral obligations but a woman does have the right (as she should) to have an abortion against the wishes of the father. So from a LEGAL standpoint it seems slanted against the guys. Birth control is the responsibility of both so it's a little unfair to say the guy should have thought of that before because she should have as well. There should be some level of fairness to the woman & the man. But at the same time they should both do what's right for the child. I absolutely see both sides of this.
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    Post by Supernova Tue Nov 02, 2010 10:28 am

    Guys have pretty much had that option for years and the law never does much with them. And I think about it longterm, these kids never know who their fathers are, wonder their whole lives, and then what if they fall in love and have sex with somebody, who is another product of that same father? Then that's incest and they don't even know it because the father didn't want to have to take any responsibility. You know what, you took that risk just as much as she did when you had sex, why shouldn't you have to face the consequences of your actions as well?
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    Post by Tony Marino Tue Nov 02, 2010 11:39 am

    Hell no, he helped put it there it should be his responsibility as well to make sure that child is supported and treated the right way.
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    Post by AtownPeep Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:05 pm

    Chris wrote:A woman who becomes pregnant has the choice to either carry the baby to term, or to abort. Do you think that a father should have a similar option, but instead of abortion -- he can 'opt out' of his paternal rights (and responsibilities) to the child, should the mother decide to give birth?

    Too many times kids don't become real to their parents until much later on. Fact is a woman who has an abortion is stopping a life from happening and therefore there won't be any responsibilities to maintain something that isn't there. A father shouldn't be able to get out of taking care of a life that exists that he created just because he didn't have the power to terminate. He had the power to keep it zipped and wear a condom.
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    Post by Forgiveness Man Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:06 pm

    You can't opt out of parenthood. All you can do is ignore your responsibilities. Whether you're punished for that or not is irrelevant.
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    Post by femme fatale Tue Nov 02, 2010 2:50 pm

    There would be a lot of unclaimed, uncared for fatherless kids out there if men were able to have this privilege. Crazy as it sounds, I would be more in favor of a man having a say in the termination of a fetus then them being able to legally walk away from a baby's mouth that needs food.
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    Post by Nystyle709 Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:43 pm

    Chris wrote:A woman who becomes pregnant has the choice to either carry the baby to term, or to abort. Do you think that a father should have a similar option, but instead of abortion -- he can 'opt out' of his paternal rights (and responsibilities) to the child, should the mother decide to give birth?

    Know what, I may be the sole person to say this....but I kinda would be for that ONLY in one instance. If the father clearly does not want this child and the mother does.....he obviously has no say in that matter. Why should he be held responsible for something he has no say in? It would make sense and be fair for it to go both ways wouldn't it? Yeah yeah, I'm all for the right to an abortion and nobody telling a woman what to do with her body.....but I'm sick of these fool ass women having babies by these losers then complaining when they aren't there to care of their seeds. Yeah yeah, it takes two to tango........but if he's CLEARLY showing you whatever kind of person he is.......why would you still choose to procreate with him? Especially when you have that option. Do you know how many babies are born to 'keep' or 'hold on' to a man? Nine time out of ten a loser man? Or get his money? It's ridiculous. Child support and family court 95% geared towards women, they're FOR women and basically a man it going to get fucked. And not in the good way. I guarantee you if a guy could document that he didn't want a baby with a chick and he won't be held responsible for it........how fast these bitches would close their legs. Now that's an effective deterrent for unwanted pregnancies instead of trying to outlaw abortion. But like I said, I might only be for it in that instance because it would be FAIR for it to go both ways. Think about the fact of the matter. I'm sure nobody in here would want to be directly held responsible for something they had no say in. But trying to implement a law like that would be hellish. So bottom line: if you're gonna have sex with someone unprotected.....try and make it someone you wouldn't mind procreating with and make sure that person wants the same from you.
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    Post by Impact Tue Nov 02, 2010 6:23 pm

    Chris wrote:A woman who becomes pregnant has the choice to either carry the baby to term, or to abort. Do you think that a father should have a similar option, but instead of abortion -- he can 'opt out' of his paternal rights (and responsibilities) to the child, should the mother decide to give birth?

    Maybe. But the conditions of it should be ultra strict. If he is going to opt out of fatherhood, then it is binding for eighteen years (meaning that when the kid is four, he can't suddenly get the urge to stop by and play daddy.) He nor his family would have zero legal rights to the child whatsoever.
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    Post by MandyPerfumeGirl Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:58 pm

    No. In no way should a man have the option to choose to get out of his parental responsibilities. The man was there and he needs to buck up and take responsibility, period. A father who "opts out" is just a nice word for a deadbeat dead.
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    Post by Jason B. Tue Nov 02, 2010 10:05 pm

    ^ co-signs and agreed.
    He should have "opted out" by PULLING out. lol

    It is kinda unfair that a mans has less "choice" in the matter than a woman when it comes to being a parent, but let's be honest, men have more opportunity to hit and run.
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    Post by Supernova Wed Nov 03, 2010 12:47 am

    JB wrote:^ co-signs and agreed.
    He should have "opted out" by PULLING out. lol

    It is kinda unfair that a mans has less "choice" in the matter than a woman when it comes to being a parent, but let's be honest, men have more opportunity to hit and run.


    Which they have been doing probably since time began, and really picked up on since shotgun weddings died out about 50 some years ago.
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    Post by Alan Smithee Wed Nov 03, 2010 7:42 am

    If he fathered the child he needs to be responsible even if only financially. I'll throw this into the mix. There's a surprisingly high number of married men out there who are raising children that they think are their flesh and blood, but aren't. I believe in most cases, the courts have ruled that, regardless of when (at what age the child is) these cuckholds find out they aren't the fathers, they are still financially responsible. Shouldn't they be legally off the hook if they've been that deceived? Emotionally is a seperate issue.
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    Post by Marc™ Wed Nov 03, 2010 9:19 am

    alan smithee wrote:If he fathered the child he needs to be responsible even if only financially. I'll throw this into the mix. There's a surprisingly high number of married men out there who are raising children that they think are their flesh and blood, but aren't. I believe in most cases, the courts have ruled that, regardless of when (at what age the child is) these cuckholds find out they aren't the fathers, they are still financially responsible. Shouldn't they be legally off the hook if they've been that deceived? Emotionally is a seperate issue.

    Yup. Unfortunately in cases like that, the law doesn't wanna turn kids into little bastards. So whoever has been on birth certif. as daddy for some odd years is stuck being responsible, even if it becomes obvious that the kid was from another mans orgasm until he can get the red tape cleared.

    The law protects kids first, women second and men last.
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    Post by Supernova Wed Nov 03, 2010 10:10 am

    Marc wrote:
    Yup. Unfortunately in cases like that, the law doesn't wanna turn kids into little bastards. So whoever has been on birth certif. as daddy for some odd years is stuck being responsible, even if it becomes obvious that the kid was from another mans orgasm until he can get the red tape cleared.

    The law protects kids first, women second and men last.

    THOSE kinds of laws, when it's rape, it's children first, men seldom seem to register on it, and women are protected last and least.
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    Post by Shale Wed Nov 03, 2010 10:59 am

    alan smithee wrote:... There's a surprisingly high number of married men out there who are raising children that they think are their flesh and blood, but aren't. ...
    I may be part of that scene. In my youth I bedded a woman who was separated from her husband. They soon got back together and she was pregnant. It coulda been either of us but she assured me it was his baby - said she knew. This was before DNA testing and I never questioned it. I think under the Napoleonic law that seemed to govern Louisiana at that time it was his whether bastard or not. Me and her old man looked a bit alike, generic French extraction, so who would ever know?

    So, it's possible that a 40-something person out there has my DNA instead of his daddy's.
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    Post by binky04 Wed Nov 03, 2010 2:04 pm

    A lot of them already do 1 cannot force some one to be a parent and then force child support on them 2. I had a friend who was dating a guy when it came down to do the deed he wanted her to sign a document that stated he was using protection but if by chance she got pregnant he did not want anymore children and would not be responsible for child support he also wanted to video tape her signing this document. Needless to say it ruined the moment embarassed
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    Post by Supernova Wed Nov 03, 2010 2:08 pm

    binky04 wrote:I had a friend who was dating a guy when it came down to do the deed he wanted her to sign a document that stated he was using protection but if by chance she got pregnant he did not want anymore children and would not be responsible for child support he also wanted to video tape her signing this document. Needless to say it ruined the moment embarassed

    boring Wow, he sounds like a real romantic. no
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    Post by RedBedroom Wed Nov 03, 2010 4:53 pm

    It isn't "fair" that a woman can choose abortion, but the man has to pay up if she keeps the child. But it is a fact of life, and men need to realize it. If men had the option of just opting out, there would be a crazy amount of women needing assistance.
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    Post by Forgiveness Man Wed Nov 03, 2010 5:01 pm

    RedBedroom wrote:It isn't "fair" that a woman can choose abortion, but the man has to pay up if she keeps the child. But it is a fact of life, and men need to realize it. If men had the option of just opting out, there would be a crazy amount of women needing assistance.

    That's not a fact of life, that's a fact of the law.
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    Post by RedBedroom Wed Nov 03, 2010 5:15 pm

    Well, it is both a fact of life, and law.
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    Post by Forgiveness Man Wed Nov 03, 2010 5:29 pm

    RedBedroom wrote:Well, it is both a fact of life, and law.

    It's hardly a fact of life. The law aside, women and men technically have equal chance to "opt out" in a sense. It's the law that favors women over men.
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    Post by RedBedroom Wed Nov 03, 2010 5:33 pm

    What I mean about the fact of life is that women can make the call on abortion, and men can not force an abortion should they not want a child born.

    And men need to realize it is a fact of life so that they make good decisions on who they sleep with and not trusting that she is on the pill if the guy really does not want a kid.
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    Post by Forgiveness Man Wed Nov 03, 2010 6:05 pm

    RedBedroom wrote:What I mean about the fact of life is that women can make the call on abortion, and men can not force an abortion should they not want a child born.

    And men need to realize it is a fact of life so that they make good decisions on who they sleep with and not trusting that she is on the pill if the guy really does not want a kid.

    Why couldn't they? Legally they are forbidden to but from a natural POV alone, they could easily force an abortion if they wanted it enough. The double standard is a legal one. It's no fact of life.

    Men don't need to "realize it" uniquely. Both genders have consequences resulting from irresponsibility.

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