Friends and money

Never a good mix.

Agree or disagree?

Never been in a situation like it personally but yeah I'd say so.

You mean loaning it? Not unless I didn't expect to get it back.

Loaning money to people in general is a bad idea because there's a 50% chance you may not get it back. Once a co-worker was out of gas and humbled himself to me, asking if I could help him out of this bind. Swore up and down he'd pay me back. Good guy that I am, I followed him to the filling station and filled up his tank. The next time I saw him at work before I could he brought it up, saying he hadn't forgot and that the next time he came to work he'd pay me back. He never came to work again. That was the last time I saw him. When it comes to anyone I'm not related to, $5 is my absolute limit. If you can't make that work, then I'm sorry.

Yes and no. I will lend money to a friend if he/she really needed it and I had it. I've done it before. As long as you pay me back AND pay me back in the time that you say you will, we're good.

Loaning friends money is never a good idea, I think it can really put the friendship in jeopardy.

alan smithee wrote:You mean loaning it? Not unless I didn't expect to get it back.

That is the best way to look at it. Don't lend unless you don't expect to get it back, or can do without it.

I lent a friend $2500 for a car that I was able to find for her due to my friend working at a dealer. It was a killer deal, and she was about to have a son, so she needed a better, more reliable vehicle.

But I did not enjoy at all that debt between us. First of all, in my mind, I critiqued her purchases that were more like splurges, after the fact. And when she made her payments to me, she would often comment, "that extra money will come in handy this weekend..." As if I was going to spend it willy nilly. It was all going back into savings.

She did pay it all, and I knew she would, but it was a rotten experience.

I really don't like loaning money period because I'm not rich and don't have wads of cash to spare at the drop of a dime and when you ask for it back, they look at you like you're pestering them for your money. And you sorta feel like you are even though you have the right to ask for your money back. That's why I don't loan anybody more than $20 without it being plainspoken what day the money will return to me. If they can't give me an absolute date when they ~know~ they'll have it to give back then they should go borrow it from their mom.

I don't have a lot of spare money, s I don't really lend it out - small amounts, yes, but not larger sums. Lending out large sums can destroy a friendship. I'd sooner buy a friend a gift card if they really needed money for food.

Had a co-worker who had a problem with borrowing large sums of money from people and not paying them back. She was furious when word got around. Three coworkers at one job were taken advantage of and I found out later so was another friend of mine. This girl was superficially very charming and persuasive but had major problems with money. She was a compulsive spender who went through life milking people for all she could get and then not paying them back or only paying them back after months and months.

RedBedroom wrote:Never a good mix.

Agree or disagree?

Totally agree. When there's money borrowed between friends, it changes the tone of the friendship until it's paid back in full. The one who borrowed the money sees the loaner as someone they are liable to, which affects the way they interact with them. Meanwhile it never leaves the loaners mind that they gave the other person money, even if they haven't asked for it back.

ive been in situations where i've loaned money to friends and borrowed money from friends, true there always was that fear they wouldn't pay be back, but luckily they were a friend of their word an so was i, i personally never had any problems wit it.

but of course its not always like this.

I don't loan people money. If I can afford to loan it, I can afford to give it, so if they need it and I have it to spare (not often) then I will give, not loan. I don't want to be thinking "Why are you buying those shoes? you don't need them and you could be paying me back..."

I just think of money as something without intrinsic worth. It's a tool, for PEOPLE to use. I don't want to have it between me and my people.

I agree that friends should avoid loaning each other money especially if it's large sums. I've done it and its not been an issue but I can see how it could easily be.

I think it's okay to lend out money....so....long....as.....the one borrowing it is definitive about when they're paying it back. Never indefinite. That's gonna fuck up the friendship.