Procreating is Unconscionable.

....since there are so many parentless children in the world who already exist.

I don't believe that, but I have heard plenty of bleeding heart types say this....that conceiving is the "selfish" thing to do when there are so many orphaned children out there who need homes.

What do you think?

I think that notion is full of crap and just an excuse to justify themselves. Yeah, it's selfish to implant yourself with 8 kids with no father to support you, but saying it's selfish for a married couple to have children is ludicrous. I've found it's often the opposite that is true. Besides, are these people planning to adopt 10 kids in lieu of having their own kids? Doesn't seem to be the case very often, so I just think they're blowing smoke. If you honestly don't want kids, just admit that it's because you don't want them and don't make some excuse to justify it.

No, but I do think it's selfish (and I'm going to be in the minority here) if you and your husband are for some reason unable to have children and you seek out a surrogate to have it for you instead of adopting one who's already born. I mean the mother already isn't going to have that 'wonderful' experience of the pregnancy or the birth, and I can certainly understand wanting to pass on a piece of yourself into the next generation, but despite everybody's many attemps to make it so, you don't always get what you want, and sometimes you don't get one thing you want to find out how good something else can be that you previously overlooked or didn't know about.

It very much irritates when I hear people act as though the world is too overcrowded to bring another baby into, that adoption is the altruistic alternative, and that procreation is aligned with self-indulgence. The desire to reproduce and be there at the start of life is a natural one. Adoption is noble and special in its own rite, but it's no less "selfish" than conceiving. In some cases it's a hell of a lot more unrealistic. You can't adopt an orphan like you can a dog. It's a very long process and scrutinizing process that many people would be turned down for.

For one thing human overpopulation is a problem for our planet. So, it would be logical to pick up an orphaned child and raise it instead of producing another one. But, we are Terrans not Vulcans.

IDK whatever happened to ZPG (Zero Population Growth), big in the '70s when we first realized that our planet was being overpopulated.

But, some ppl really insist on producing an offspring with their genetic material, and in nature that has always been a strong motivation of all species - sort of a built in mandate. However, some humans do follow logic and are perfectly content with picking up a spare baby and raising it as their own.

The only experience with raising children I have had is someone else's offspring. If you start with an infant who imprints on you as their parent it is the same as your own. Even older children come to see you as their parent if you assume that role - including resentful 13-year-old girls who think you stole their mother from them.

Considering the hoops you have to jump through to adopt a child, I don't blame anyone for wanting to do it the old fashioned way.

Why adopt when you can have your own? Less hassle. And besides, I want to see what I can make.

alan smithee wrote:Considering the hoops you have to jump through to adopt a child, I don't blame anyone for wanting to do it the old fashioned way.

True. Some people who yell about adoption being the more selfless route to parenting than conception do act like it is just that easy to go pick up a kid from a shelter. A kid can eventually reach maturity in the system during the time it takes to weed through a backed up adoption waiting list....and more candidates are rejected than approved.

You need a license to drive a car, own a dog or fish but just about anyone can procreate.

There's nothing unconscionable about a couple wanting to have their own baby. If someone is so broad minded that they see adoption is an equal or even the more preferable choice then kudos to them, but don't act like somebody is being extra greedy for wanting to pass down their blood and genetics if they're any good.

I fully respect someone's wish to forsake procreating for whatever their reasons are, but to say that it's unconscionable or make like the whole process is nothing but a show of gluttony is ridiculous. Most people have a biological need to live beyond themselves; that's what having children is for. Adopt if you want to adopt, take in foster kids, volunteer at children's charities, but don't make like any of these alternatives is any more noble than conceiving a child of your own.

It's a lot easier to have a baby than to adopt one if you're straight. If you're gay you have to give adoption and its many hoops a little more consideration if only because the kind of sex your having won't create a baby.

AtownPeep wrote:There's nothing unconscionable about a couple wanting to have their own baby. If someone is so broad minded that they see adoption is an equal or even the more preferable choice then kudos to them, but don't act like somebody is being extra greedy for wanting to pass down their blood and genetics if they're any good.

ITA. Anyone who truly feels procreating is "unconscionable" is being way too dramatic and completely silly. As others have said, adopting a child is red tape city and not everyone is approved.