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Its been a tough year, but I made it!!!
But not everyone is as lucky as I am...
-The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
-If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them .
-Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 'ouncer'.
Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names.
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
The Mafia is laying off judges.
-BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.
Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy,
wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in
Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if
I could drive a truck. [/b][/size]
But not everyone is as lucky as I am...
-The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
-If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them .
-Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
McDonald's is selling the 1/4 'ouncer'.
Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names.
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
The Mafia is laying off judges.
-BP Oil laid off 25 Congressmen.
Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
And, finally...
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy,
wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in
Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if
I could drive a truck. [/b][/size]
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