Some high schools don't wanna let obviously pregnant girls attend classes during the day....thinking that they're a "bad influence" on the other students and will send the wrong message about sex. You also got some parents who frown on their daughters being friends with girls their age who're pregnant. What do you think....would you want your child going to school, or being friends, with a 15 y/o who was having a baby?

It'd depend on who the girl was and how she acted.

Yeah, I think FM is right, if it was somebody who had been friends with them for a while and you knew that overall she was a good kid and just made a stupid decision, I can't see forbidding your kid from still hanging out with her. Now obviously there are some cases where you wonder, like that high school pregnancy pact thing, but that was before they had even gotten pregnant so how would you shield your own kid from that kind of crap when it was still in the planning stage? That's another thing, those girls deliberately got pregnant, and if that were the case, I really don't know.

i think it does depend on the girl... a girl can be a bad influence pregnant or not, becomin pregnant not by choice doesnt necessarily make u bad.

i cant speak of my child being around that cuz i have no children, but ive had frens and fam who have gotten pregnant while still young..never considered any of them to be bad influences.

I don't think so, in general. I don't encourage teenage pregnancy and if one of my children's friends turned up pregnant we would definitely be having some discussions about it, how hard it's going to be for the mom and the baby, how when you have a child you have to give up on your own childhood and fun and put your baby first and stuff like that...But I don't believe in shunning a girl just because she got pregnant either.

I think that there is an expectation in our society that teenagers are going to have sex, but then when a girl gets pregnant suddenly she's a slut and a bad influence...Right when she could use our support for the sake of her child, if not for her own sake. Kicking her out of school is exactly the kind of thing that leads to a cycle of poverty and sets her up for a lifetime of bad outcomes.

As for the girls who get pregnant on purpose, I think that they for whatever reason feel deeply lonely and are looking for someone to love them, so shunning them would probably just ensure that they go out and have MORE kids to give them the feeling that they are needed and loved.

No one twists anyone's arm to do something they don't want to do.

If anything they should be a cautionary tale for other girls their age to be careful.

To be perfectly honest, if my daughter were friends with a girl who was the same age as her, and pregnant, I wouldn't be thrilled. I wouldn't dissuade the friendship if the girls outward social behavior wasn't reckless, but my daughter and I would have a talk about it.

Shale wrote:

IDK. Sometimes we look at it from our perspective of what we know of sex as adults, forgetting the undeveloped teen mindset.

Like those teen girl pacts to get pregnant. Typical teen living in the present with no rational thot of future or of the difficulty & sacrifice it takes being a parent to a totally helpless baby.

We gave our daughter sex ed, condoms and a permissive atmosphere (We came from the free-luv generation). Found out she wasn't using the condoms (yeah, I snooped in dresser drawers - actually looking for cigarettes). Then I read an article that black teen girls were getting pregnant on purpose because of some fantasy about hooking the "baby daddy." You can't rationally explain to them that black boys are into the fantasy of being "baby daddy" with as many girls as they can.

So, it can be incentive to other girls to get pregnant if associating with another girl who is pregnant and perhaps getting some attention for it. What to do?

All I can say for sure is that I am glad to be out of that personal responsibility of being parent to a teen.

I hesitantly agree. Teenage girls can be very persuadable and/or idealistic. It all depends on the personality of your daughter, and how old she is, but if she see's her best friend preparing for a baby, and if the boy who impregnated her is still in the picture, then in their mind it might be this street fantasy. Like I said, I wouldn't (necessarily) stop my daughter from being friends with a pregnant girl, but in order for me to be comfortable with it, we'd have to have a serious talk about how she perceived the situation–so that I am certain that she isn't looking at it in any sort of fantasy light.

Chris wrote:

Shale wrote:

IDK. Sometimes we look at it from our perspective of what we know of sex as adults, forgetting the undeveloped teen mindset.

Like those teen girl pacts to get pregnant. Typical teen living in the present with no rational thot of future or of the difficulty & sacrifice it takes being a parent to a totally helpless baby.

We gave our daughter sex ed, condoms and a permissive atmosphere (We came from the free-luv generation). Found out she wasn't using the condoms (yeah, I snooped in dresser drawers - actually looking for cigarettes). Then I read an article that black teen girls were getting pregnant on purpose because of some fantasy about hooking the "baby daddy." You can't rationally explain to them that black boys are into the fantasy of being "baby daddy" with as many girls as they can.

So, it can be incentive to other girls to get pregnant if associating with another girl who is pregnant and perhaps getting some attention for it. What to do?

All I can say for sure is that I am glad to be out of that personal responsibility of being parent to a teen.

I hesitantly agree. Teenage girls can be very persuadable and/or idealistic. It all depends on the personality of your daughter, and how old she is, but if she see's her best friend preparing for a baby, and if the boy who impregnated her is still in the picture, then in their mind it might be this street fantasy. Like I said, I wouldn't (necessarily) stop my daughter from being friends with a pregnant girl, but in order for me to be comfortable with it, we'd have to have a serious talk about how she perceived the situation–so that I am certain that she isn't looking at it in any sort of fantasy light.

When I was 15 one of my friends who was 2 years older than I was got pregnant, and gave the baby up for adoption. My mom was really worried because she was a girl who I looked up to (and I still do, choosing adoption is one of the hardest things that I can imagine ever going through). I remember my mom asking me what I thought about it, worried that I was thinking it was a good idea or something. Nothing could have been further from the truth though, if anything it brought home the message that getting pregnant COULD happen to anyone and I had better be super careful. I had other friends that had gotten pregnant before that, but they were reckless in my opinion even as a teenager, so to see my college bound friend get pregnant was a big wake up call.

I would have a problem with it if the other girl was boasting and bragging about the situation.

thepossiblepolice wrote:

I don't think so, in general. I don't encourage teenage pregnancy and if one of my children's friends turned up pregnant we would definitely be having some discussions about it, how hard it's going to be for the mom and the baby, how when you have a child you have to give up on your own childhood and fun and put your baby first and stuff like that...But I don't believe in shunning a girl just because she got pregnant either.

I think that there is an expectation in our society that teenagers are going to have sex, but then when a girl gets pregnant suddenly she's a slut and a bad influence...Right when she could use our support for the sake of her child, if not for her own sake. Kicking her out of school is exactly the kind of thing that leads to a cycle of poverty and sets her up for a lifetime of bad outcomes.

As for the girls who get pregnant on purpose, I think that they for whatever reason feel deeply lonely and are looking for someone to love them, so shunning them would probably just ensure that they go out and have MORE kids to give them the feeling that they are needed and loved.

Very good points and very true. ITA with this. I don't thinking shunning is the right thing but it could be used as a teaching point. Kicking a young girl out isn't the answer.

stonestatic wrote:

If anything they should be a cautionary tale for other girls their age to be careful.

Yeah - ITA with that.

CatEyes10736 wrote:

I would have a problem with it if the other girl was boasting and bragging about the situation.

Yeah - same here. I wouldn't want that influence around but for girls who've just made a mistake, that would be different.

Regarding schools, I don't think they need to make it any harder for a pregnant teen to get an education that it will already be.

For my child, I agree with what Chris said. We would have a serious talk about how my child perceived the situation. It would be difficult if the friend was talking up the experience.

I had a kinda/sorta friend who had a baby. We would not have ever hung out but for the fact our boyfriends were close. There was a time or two that she stopped by with her baby and Mom was very uncomfortable and did not like it.

This post got me thinking, what about those "True Life-I'm 16 and pregnant" and "Teen Mom" shows? I feel like they probably aren't a great thing for teenagers to see...Then again I've only seen one or two episodes and couldn't watch any more because there were so many cringe worthy moments IMO.

thepossiblepolice wrote:

This post got me thinking, what about those "True Life-I'm 16 and pregnant" and "Teen Mom" shows? I feel like they probably aren't a great thing for teenagers to see...Then again I've only seen one or two episodes and couldn't watch any more because there were so many cringe worthy moments IMO.

I completely agree. I don't so much mind the True Life profiles, because they're presented under the guise of real people being profiled in real life situations, but I think Teen Mom is virtually celebrating it.

Chris wrote:

thepossiblepolice wrote:

This post got me thinking, what about those "True Life-I'm 16 and pregnant" and "Teen Mom" shows? I feel like they probably aren't a great thing for teenagers to see...Then again I've only seen one or two episodes and couldn't watch any more because there were so many cringe worthy moments IMO.

I completely agree. I don't so much mind the True Life profiles, because they're presented under the guise of real people being profiled in real life situations, but I think Teen Mom is virtually celebrating it.

If the show itself isn't, then the other media is. I see them on the cover of magazines and stuff, so the girls are famous because they had a baby...I think that's a weird message to send to teenage girls. Then again if they are going to try to get pregnant because of a reality show, then they obviously have problems to begin with I guess.