Prenup agreements

If you were getting married, would you insist on one? Would you sign one if your fiancee insisted?

If I was bringing something to the table and my fiancee wasn't....then yes, he's signing a pre-nup. If he was bringing something to the table and I wasn't and he asked me to sign one....then yes, I would sign one. I'd just have to stack my money and get my shit while in the good times (half-joking). If we both come to the table with nothing and we're going to be wealth together...then no, there is no need for a pre-nup. If we both come to the table with assets then I would want an agreement that says we both leave with what we came in with. Whatever we've built together, THAT can be split. Marriage is half love and all business nowadays.

With the divorce rate what it is, I honestly can't imagine ever getting married without one. When we're together, I'd be more than willing to play the mine-is-yours game, but if anything happens to cause a split, you're not getting half of my penny rolls. Nor am I going to take a second job to support your accustomed lifestyle after the divorce.

I heard Will Smith married Jada Pinkett without a prenup.

How I pity him, and envy her.

If I were marrying a man who already had millions in the bank, then I would sign it (although if he didn't bring it up, I sure as heck wouldn't) after my own attorney drew up an agreement that stipulates that:

a) If I, in any way, help to increase the value of our community property during the course of the marriage that the prenup that I'm signing now would be invalidated.

b) If he wanted a trophy wife, and insisted that I not work, then he is obligated to make a sizable yearly deposit into my own separate bank account...one that he had NO control over and that if we ever separate, he couldn't take any of it back.

stavdash wrote:I heard Will Smith married Jada Pinkett without a prenup.

How I pity him, and envy her.

...and she has two of his kids. If that ever goes sour, he couldn't let her walk away alive.

It's a little insulting though isn't it? Prenups essentially reveal skepticism about the everlasting fate of the relationship, also it implies distrust from the party presenting it. I suppose if it were more of a marriage of convenience, one would make sense but "I wanna spend the rest of my life with you" is basically cancelled out by the presentation of a prenup IMHO.

Don't really have that much of an opinion but I do think that alimony is stupid. Former spouses shouldn't have to come out of pocket to support each other after they're not married no more.

If either of us were inordinately wealthy, then I could see it. But if both of us are just everyday, working folk then a prenup would seem a little silly.

I'd definitely consider it. I'm all for child support, but alimony is a bunch of bullshit.

SecHandNews wrote:It's a little insulting though isn't it?

Not at all. You buy car insurance "in case" something happens to you car don't you? You get health insurance "in case" you get sick don't you? A pre-nup is nothing but an insurance. With more and more people not willing to commit and who rather play house for the rest of their lives, I highly doubt anyone who is actually considering marriage and actually WANTING to get married goes into it thinking that they're not going to be with that person forever...cause if that were the case, marriage wouldn't even be discussed.

Prenups essentially reveal skepticism about the everlasting fate of the relationship, also it implies distrust from the party presenting it.

How so? How is wanting to make sure you don't leave with half of my shit and I don't have to support you after we're not together implying skepticism? Like I said, it's an insurance, nothing more and nothing less. I'm a woman and I'm ALL for pre-nups. Nobody deserves half of ANYTHING that they didn't help get. And nobody deserves to be supported by that person. What sense does that make, you still living off of your ex-wife/husband? That's craziness.

I suppose if it were more of a marriage of convenience, one would make sense but "I wanna spend the rest of my life with you" is basically cancelled out by the presentation of a prenup IMHO.

It's a lot easier to shack up than to be married. You can love someone dearly and never marry them. Life happens, shit happens. Pre-nups just makes sure you have no ties to that person if you should happen to break up and your personal assets before the marriage are protected. That's all. It makes things fair. Love is not even an issue, IMO.

"50% of all marriages end in divorce"

Don't be naive. Prenups are protection to those who are steadily employed and got a few bucks in the bank. These days marriage is for people who just wanna up the ante of their current relationship. If it ends up being forever, then cool. But it's idealistic to expect it to be.

SecHandNews wrote:It's a little insulting though isn't it? Prenups essentially reveal skepticism about the everlasting fate of the relationship, also it implies distrust from the party presenting it. I suppose if it were more of a marriage of convenience, one would make sense but "I wanna spend the rest of my life with you" is basically cancelled out by the presentation of a prenup IMHO.

How many couples in the midst of nasty divorces (where one side is vindictively going after the other for $$$$) said that their marriage was forever before they said their I Do's? With the divorce rate what it is, people should go into marriages a little more realistically. That probably includes financial agreements should things ever sever.

I don't really get that you're so gung ho to share your home, your bed, and your life with this person, who you might not really know so well, who might turn out to be a psycho killer or something, you're willing to take that gamble, but your money is absolutely off limits. I don't get that...yeah, everybody needs to watch what happens with their credit and stuff, but what's that really say about you, that your money is worth more to you than your own life?


If it were me, I'd say no prenups, but I sure as hell would NOT have my money in a joint account with him, I'd have my own separate account that I and ONLY I could withdraw from, and keep my credit card to myself.

I said if I ever remarried, I would balance practicality over what could happen with optimism for a long future together. Point blank: prenups make divorce proceedings go a lot quicker.

I think that they a good thing. I have a good friend who was just really screwed by not having her husband sign one.

Watching Divorce Wars on CNBC right now. Contrary to what I said two years ago, I didn't have a prenup drawn up before I got married. If me and the Mrs. ever fall out of favor, looks like I'll need a hefty bag and a shovel.

If I'm ever widowed and win the lottery I'd get a prenup.

Chris wrote:

Watching Divorce Wars on CNBC right now. Contrary to what I said two years ago, I didn't have a prenup drawn up before I got married. If me and the Mrs. ever fall out of favor, looks like I'll need a hefty bag and a shovel.

Chris, if the statistic that half of all marriages end in divorce is true, it means the other half end in death.

I'm not too bloody likely to ever marry again if I should be widowed. When we did marry neither one of us had a pot to pee in , nor a window to throw it out. No pre-nup was needed.

Yes and yes