^^^^^He may not have perpetrated the misuse but the accuracy of the term's application isn't contingent on what person is making the claim. It either is applicable or it isn't. It doesn't shuffle back and forth between accurate and inaccurate depending on who is speaking.

Forgiveness Man wrote:

^^^^^He may not have perpetrated the misuse but the accuracy of the term's application isn't contingent on what person is making the claim. It either is applicable or it isn't. It doesn't shuffle back and forth between accurate and inaccurate depending on who is speaking.

Exactly. A parent who pulls children from school to homeschool them has a right to label it as such. Even if they are doing a terrible job of it or doing it for all the wrong reasons. And more importantly the children who were slighted have a right to describe their experience as being homeschooled.

My mom went to the school district, filled out a form so that I could be "home schooled". I was 14 at the time. I was already beyond her level of education so she asked me what I wanted to study, and ordered books for my from Bob Jones University. As is required in our state, I took one standardized test, shortly after being pulled out of school. At first we signed up with a "home school group" where other people who were home schooled paid as a group for private tutors, there I took Spanish. That's also where I took the test. The home school group thing lasted for a couple of months...

Then it was up to me. I read and baby sat until I was old enough to get my GED. I read all the BJU books, I read library books, I read poetry...Basically whatever I wanted.

The mental illness that my mom had at the time left her inconsistent and abusive, physically and mentally. I felt like she was great at hiding the way things were, but CPS was called 4 times before I left public school, so maybe that wasn't the case. After I was pulled out of public school those calls stopped though. There were no adults save my adoptive dad to see what was going on, and he was in the military so not always around...He took her "side" anyway. How an adult can take the side of another adult who is hitting a 14 yo girl with a hot curling iron, IDK, but that's what happened. Over and over again. I didn't have a guidance counselor to go to, friends to confide in, a trusted teacher to report to. It was just me and my family.

Finally I ran away. She told me if I didn't get out of her sight she would kill me, so I ran out of her sight, in my socks, to a neighbor's house who I knew had a child close to my age. I couldn't go to any of the neighbors that knew my parents because I thought they wouldn't believe me. They were my parent's friends and my dad's coworkers.

The person's mom wouldn't let me in at first, she thought I was on drugs. Finally her daughter convinced her to let me in. I stayed with a family for a week or so...Then my mom agreed to counseling or whatever they told her she had to agree to, and I went home.

After that, I was left alone. My Dad said that he hated me for what I had done to the family. I joined the Mormon church, I was so lonely.

I wasn't physically abused after that, the mental stuff of course was still there, because my mom pulled out of counseling after the first session because they were "blaming it all on her" and she thought it was my fault...But there were no more "spankings". Right before I turned 16 my parents got word that they were transferring to another state, they said I could stay here, so I found a family at church to take me in and got my GED. Then I started college in the fall.

During my experience in literally years of counseling, I have heard numerous times that home schooling is a risk factor for abuse. Not that it causes people to abuse their children, but that people who DO abuse their children pull them out of they system so no one will know what they are doing.

Now that you know my whole story, albeit condensed, am I allowed to call my self "home schooled"? Should I have to clarify, and say that I was home schooled for a couple months, and then I was self taught after that???

If so, then maybe you should think about doing the same thing when referring to public schools. If we are going to be that specific about whether I was home schooled or not, maybe we should say things like "Public schools that have school shootings suck" and not "Public schools suck".

I understand that not all home school situations are the same as mine was, and I'm happy for that. However, in a forum where we are talking about public schooling vs home schooling and school violence, I don't see how the fact that kids are more at risk of family violence if they are home schooled is any less relevant than the fact that kids face violence in public school.

Last time I checked, school shootings make the news because they are unusual, not because they happen all the time.

I don't hate on home schooling and if my kids were not doing well in public school, then I'd consider it as an option because when it is done the right way it can be great for kids. Public schools can as well.

^^^^So you did whatever you wanted for homeschooling after a certain point? It seems that would be when that homeschooling ended.

I don't doubt what you went through or trivialize your trials. That just doesn't really speak to my point.

And violence at public school is actually among the least reasons they suck. (Although I don't feel it has to escalate to a school shooting in order to be violent.)

It appears to me that your point is that only people who were home schooled in a way that you approve of get to call themselves home schooled.

How can you possibly be so sure what the norm is for people who are home schooled? In states like mine where there is no oversight of home schooling, there's no way of knowing what is going on in people's homes, or what the outcome is for kids who are home schooled.


What would you suggest I say when people ask me what high school I went to? I'm not going to say that I dropped out of school, I was a straight A student and in the gifted program, I don't deserve that label. If I wasn't home schooled than what was I?

Forgiveness Man wrote:

^^^^So you did whatever you wanted for homeschooling after a certain point? It seems that would be when that homeschooling ended.

She didn't lay in her room staring at the ceiling cuddling Care Bears. Who are you to discount her experience?

Why for one post, can't you respect somebody sharing a testament on a topic you are passionate about that doesn't meet your standards?

TPP - thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry no one was there to stick up for you once you were pulled from school.

As for you question? I'd say that yes - you were home-schooled, even if you were the one teaching yourself. There are many methods of home-schooling. It's not for everyone, just as public school isn't for everyone, nor boarding nor private school. It sounds like, despite the challenge, you managed to rise above your circumstances and find success. Kudos to you for not giving up and for having such determination to succeed.

As for the original post about homeschooling vs public schooling? Children are different and they have different learning styles. No one system fits every child. Some children will succeed in one type of schooling, while others find failure. Public school isn't for everyone but neither is home-schooling. Bad things can happen anywhere!

RedBedroom wrote:

Forgiveness Man wrote:

^^^^So you did whatever you wanted for homeschooling after a certain point? It seems that would be when that homeschooling ended.

She didn't lay in her room staring at the ceiling cuddling Care Bears. Who are you to discount her experience?

Why for one post, can't you respect somebody sharing a testament on a topic you are passionate about that doesn't meet your standards?

Because he can't stand being wrong. TPP just shitted all over his and Supernova's ridiculously inane argument about the 'horrors' of public school but he will never concede. Even when it's blatant.

Thanks for the support

For the record, I'll say again that I DO believe home schooling can be a good thing, for some kids, when done in a way that supports their learning style and personality and provides them with all the opportunities that kids in public or private school have. Taking the SAT's and ACT were things that I missed out on, for example. That's just me though, there are a lot of kids who are home schooled who do take those tests.

Public school, private school, and home school all have their pros and cons and all a parent can do is make the best choice that they can for their child based on their own personal circumstances.

thepossiblepolice wrote:

It appears to me that your point is that only people who were home schooled in a way that you approve of get to call themselves home schooled.

How can you possibly be so sure what the norm is for people who are home schooled? In states like mine where there is no oversight of home schooling, there's no way of knowing what is going on in people's homes, or what the outcome is for kids who are home schooled.


What would you suggest I say when people ask me what high school I went to? I'm not going to say that I dropped out of school, I was a straight A student and in the gifted program, I don't deserve that label. If I wasn't home schooled than what was I?

Not at all. There are several people who homeschool in ways I disapprove of who are still homeschooled. I just call things what they are, not what they are said to be.

Well if somebody passes off locking their kids in the house and beating them as homeschooling, no we can't know how that will turn out. But again, not everything labeled homeschooling is homeschooling.

I don't know what you were. What were you? Again, it's not about minimizing your experience but more about things being what they are. As for you not deserving the drop out label, that speaks to my point quite a bit. You didn't do anything to merit the drop out label, and thus referring to you as such would be incorrect regardless of what people say.

I understand that you are not being against homeschooling. That's not at all what I am claiming.

@Redbedroom: I am not discounting her experience at all.

Hi TPP - ITA that homeschooling can be successful in some cases, but certainly not in all. I also don't think that one method is right even for each child in the family. A good friend of mine has two children in public and one in private. They moved the middle son to a private school so he could have more individualized attention than he was getting in public school. The other two are doing great in public, but the middle son is doing better in private. All three are great kids, as is her oldest, who's at university now.

Your point about learning styles is a key point. Learning styles are different and children should be allowed to be in the school environment that best suits their learning needs.