Hey everyone

Just wondering what your take is on babies after 40. I think its become PC in our culture to say "have them when you're ready" and that "age doesn't matter" and sure that is true. But babies and small children require a lot of energy. They like to play. They like to run. Jump and all that good stuff. If you're over 40, will you have the stamina to keep up with a toddler all day everyday? What's your opinion of having small children during middle age?

I'm glad I had mine when I was younger, but I have friends with small children who are in their late thirties/early forties and they seem to be doing fine. They may or may not have as much energy, but they have other things that you might not have when you're young...like money.

I don't think age matters as much as life obligations in general. I worked full time when mine were born. I think I'd have just as much energy at 40, being a SAHM. At least I could take advantage of naptime to nap, myself.

The babies will come whenever until you can't have them no more. Pros and cons to everything in life. No problem with kids after 40.

I wouldn't discourage anyone past a certain age from embracing a baby that's coming, but still I do think that the best time to have babies is between the ages of 21-35. My mother was born to older parents. My grandmother and grandfather were 39 and 46 when she was born and to let her describe it, they didn't have alot of energy and patience in dealing with her as she was growing up. They had already had 3 kids before her and so by the time she came along, much of their tolerance and stamina had been spent. By the time she graduated high school, they were in the mid 50's and early 60's. Imagine dealing with raising a teenager at 60. I wouldn't want to do it personally.

To each their own. I'm almost 33 and have three kids already (all born before I turned 30). I really think I'm done, not trying to have anymore at all. If I do though, this is the final decade it needs to happen in. Early middle age, when the kids are graduating, should IMO return you full circle to your early 20s before you had them. I wouldn't want to be 47-48-49 and still going to parent/teacher conferences, or trying to stay one step ahead of a sneaking preteen. I barely have the energy for that now, in another 15 years it will only be worse.

My father was 51 and my mother was 40 when I came along. No problems at all until I was 14 and my father was forced to retire at 65. By the time I was 17, their savings ran out and I had to go to work, they simply couldn't afford me on their pathetic Social Security check. I finished high school in the U.S. Navy.

I married at 19 to a 17 year old girl. We had four kids in the next five years. It was a struggle financially but we managed.

I can see where people are coming from and I understand it, but I think if people are preparing to have children when they're over... even 45, they should think of the long-term impact and that when the child is graduating, they'll be in their 60's. If the parents are prepared to handle that and know they'll be retiring around the time their child is graduating, I think it's okay, but if they're not prepared to be parenting a teenager while they're looking at retirement, maybe adopting an older child would be better. When I adopt, my kids will eb older, as I want to adopt a sibling group. I'd like 1 or 2 of my own, too, though.

Rainmaker wrote:

Hey everyone

Just wondering what your take is on babies after 40. I think its become PC in our culture to say "have them when you're ready" and that "age doesn't matter" and sure that is true. But babies and small children require a lot of energy. They like to play. They like to run. Jump and all that good stuff. If you're over 40, will you have the stamina to keep up with a toddler all day everyday? What's your opinion of having small children during middle age?

Well, I can only speak from anecdotal evidence. My aunt had her first child at 39 and her second at 43. The boys are 6 and 2 respectively and so far as I can tell raised in a great environment and very well loved and cared for. My aunt works from home and has a housekeeper who helps with the daily chores. So she does get to spend quality time with them and so does my uncle during the weekends. It works for them!

I think so long as it's before 50, there's nothing wrong with it...my mother had me when she was 39, and I was the last one of the bunch, and oddly enough when she was in her 30s the doctors told her she'd die if she had any kids after 30, she had two of them, and it was the idiotic doctor that almost killed her, we had nothing to do with it. Mary Stuart Masteron who played Idgie on Fried Green Tomatoes is 44 and pregnant with twins, and also has a 17 month old boy, I say more power to her.

Celine Dion is 42 and just had twins. Not to be outdone, Mariah Carey is 40 and currently pregnant with twins as well.

I would rather see an "Older" mother than a teen mother.

thepossiblepolice wrote:

I would rather see an "Older" mother than a teen mother.

^This!

I would recommend having them younger, so that by the time you're 40 they're grown....or nearing it....and you can go on about your business while you're still young enough to not look totally out of place at the club. But whatever works for the person. I wouldn't object to having one more in my young 30s, but after about 35 I'm not seeing it.

I would recommend having them younger, so that by the time you're 40 they're grown....or nearing it....and you can go on about your business while you're still young enough to not look totally out of place at the club.

Yup. My mother had my sister when she was 38. I remember when she was pregnant with her and not really being too happy about it. I was 19 and an adult, my brother was 14 and damn near an adult....she was pretty much done with raising kids and decided to start all over. I think 30 is the perfect age to start having children and really, I'd want to have all of mine in that decade.

Having a child is embarking on a long journey, and for me personally it's not a trek I would want to start at over forty. If it happened, I would embrace it, but I can't imagine myself planning it after that age. As has been said already, if I'm to have any more children, I would prefer that it happened before I turned forty.

It all depends on the type of person in question. There are some who want to have kids young, and others who want to enjoy life for a while and then raise kids later.

I do have to say that when a woman reaches the neighborhood of 50, she needs to really evaluate the choice to have a child.

wesley wrote:

Celine Dion is 42 and just had twins. Not to be outdone, Mariah Carey is 40 and currently pregnant with twins as well.

The chance of multiple birth increases with maternal age. Your body is trying to use up all the eggs it can.