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    'Because I said so.'

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    Post by Chris Fri Mar 18, 2011 7:27 am

    Often times when a parent or authority figure tell a kid to do something and they ask why, the parent/authority figure answers back, "because I said so," not feeling an obligation to explain any further. Do you think that this is a good enough response for a parent or authority figure to use when a kid questions what they've been ordered?
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    Post by Forgiveness Man Fri Mar 18, 2011 8:11 am

    Nah, it's a weak response. Not that the kid still isn't obliged to obey, but the parent CAN and should do better with those reasons. Frankly "Because I said so" is a sign of weakness kids will pick up on. If you're parenting skills are really so darn great, you can and will do better. big grin


    Last edited by Forgiveness Man on Fri Mar 18, 2011 12:19 pm; edited 1 time in total
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    Post by Wadsworth Fri Mar 18, 2011 11:44 am

    Adults don't owe kids explanations for what they tell them to do. If I say stand over there, don't move and STFU then stand over there, don't move and STFU. Don't ask why, if I wanted to tell you then I would have.
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    Post by Shale Fri Mar 18, 2011 11:53 am

    Wadsworth wrote:Adults don't owe kids explanations for what they tell them to do. If I say stand over there, don't move and STFU then stand over there, don't move and STFU. Don't ask why, if I wanted to tell you then I would have.
    Do you actually have kids? blank stare @ you

    I was raised in that model by my dad, who was raised in that model by his dad, a product of rural 19th century Mississippi. (Same grandad that used to kick the dog when he got frustrated).

    I do assert myself with kids but am not averse to explaining the rationale of my decisions and dictates. That is how I learn best - cause and effect rather than by rote.
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    Post by Alan Smithee Fri Mar 18, 2011 1:15 pm

    It depends on the situation and the age of the child. If I ask my teenager to please dump the garbage and they cop an attitude with, "Why do I have to do it?", I don't feel I owe them the explanation that they are a part of this family and this two minute task that's necessary because the garbage is overflowing with mostly trash that they've put in there and isn't going to impact your busy social calendar. "Because I said so" works for me in this case. Other times though an explanation is in order as a "teachable moment".
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    Post by Tony Marino Fri Mar 18, 2011 1:35 pm

    Sure why not, why should they even question it.
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    Post by 2xy Fri Mar 18, 2011 1:42 pm

    No, I don't think it's a good enough response if it's a genuine question. Like, if you've asked the child to do something completely out of the ordinary. If you're reminding the kid to do a routine chore and they ask "whyyyyy," then they're really just whining and stalling, and that doesn't really deserve the dignity of an answer.

    I like for my kids to question things. It shows that they're thinking.
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    Post by Nhaiyel Fri Mar 18, 2011 1:55 pm

    That's a non answer, and I think kids only resent their parents when they say it. On the other hand, I don't think that an explanation is always owed either. So it is what it is.
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    Post by TPP Fri Mar 18, 2011 2:03 pm

    2xy wrote:No, I don't think it's a good enough response if it's a genuine question. Like, if you've asked the child to do something completely out of the ordinary. If you're reminding the kid to do a routine chore and they ask "whyyyyy," then they're really just whining and stalling, and that doesn't really deserve the dignity of an answer.

    I like for my kids to question things. It shows that they're thinking.

    co-signs

    If they are whining and not REALLY asking I'll say "I know you're smart enough to come up with that answer for yourself, please do what I asked of you and THEN we'll talk about it if you want."

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    Post by Nystyle709 Fri Mar 18, 2011 6:33 pm

    Chris wrote:Often times when a parent or authority figure tell a kid to do something and they ask why, the parent/authority figure answers back, "because I said so," not feeling an obligation to explain any further. Do you think that this is a good enough response for a parent or authority figure to use when a kid questions what they've been ordered?

    Depends on what it is. For the most part, if you're in my house and I ask you to do a chore, then that response is sufficient enough.
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    Post by Impact Fri Mar 18, 2011 10:10 pm

    I have no problem with throwing that phrase out when I'm not in a mood to rationalize to my kids why I told them to do something. It's not something I always say, but I'm not above using it to end the discussion.
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    Post by RedBedroom Fri Mar 18, 2011 10:18 pm

    I avoid that phrase. I will explain to him "why" unless he is asking it for a lame reason, then he gets the look.

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