To everyone who is/has been married, did you take traditional vows, or recite your own?
If you aren't married, when/if you do, which way would you prefer?

Did the traditional thing. There's no significant meaningfulness to those although I am glad they finally for the most part have omitted that "obey" BS. They were just a formality to me. Might as well have been "blah blah yada yada boobity boobity boo man & wife". I think the better way is to write your own so that it's a more personal experience.

The traditional vows were what I went with, back in 1993 when I got married.

It seems kind of pretentious, some vows people come up with. Overly sappy doesn't work for me. When they write them to make it sound like no one ever loved each other so much as them, no ones marriage will ever be as perfect as theirs... everyone tries. Everyone will have trials and tribulations.

I'd rather come up with vows that actually make sense in this day and age. LIke, "I vow to never come in and use the bathroom while you're taking a shower" or "I vow to never leave my socks in the couch cushions."

Rockbird wrote:

I'd rather come up with vows that actually make sense in this day and age. LIke, "I vow to never come in and use the bathroom while you're taking a shower" or "I vow to never leave my socks in the couch cushions."

Those would be a lot more sincere & have some real significance.

Shale wrote:

CeCe wrote:

...I think the better way is to write your own so that it's a more personal experience.

That is what Brenda and I did when we officially got married in 1983. We had been life partners since 1980 - that is the year we counted as our anniversary.

So our vows were personal to our relationship:

"I wish to live with you
as my lawful wife,
Just as I have lived these years
as your friend.
Supporting your hopes, reflecting your thots
And sharing your love.

Our souls are one, tied by the cord of Karma
And as a symbol of this Bond
I give you this ring."

I really like that!

Shale wrote:

"I wish to live with you
as my lawful Mate, (Oops, I absently put just one side of the vow)
Just as I have lived these years
as your friend.
Supporting your hopes, reflecting your thots
And sharing your love.

Our souls are one, tied by the cord of Karma
And as a symbol of this Bond
I give you this ring."

That's beautiful & so much more personal & meaningful than "take as my lawfully wedded.." "have..hold..rich..poor..love..cherish.." You're actually speaking to each other rather than just reciting someone elses words.

We just did the boiler plate version. Might not be romantic but we've kept them for going on 28 years.

I'd rather do it like the two detectives at the end of The Black Raven, or rather like he did, "I do, she does, that's all".

I wonder if there were statistics, of those who wrote their own vows, and those who went with the standard version, if there was a difference in the divorce rate?

If I were ever to marry, ideally, I would like my husband and I to write our own vows; I think it's more romantic and personal that way, but if he was unromantic and just wanted to do the regular thing, I would bend to conform to his wishes. After all, no use in forcing a man to write his vows if it's just not heartfelt on his part. So, all in all, it would depend on what my future husband wanted to do.

If it's going to be a big, elaborate ceremony, then chances are I would the vows to be unique. If we're eloping before a judge, then we can just go the standard.

I'd do the traditional. What difference does it make? You both know what you need to do in the marriage....no 'special' vows is going to make you adhere to them or not.

If I were getting married, I would want to recite my own vows. Plus I imagine that having to stand there in a dress having to listen to the priest talk on and on while anticipating being pronounced husband and wife is like time standing still.

Oh, I could be so flamed for this on another forum, less open-minded than this one. But the Catholic wedding mass is so boring. I don't know anymore, if they let you recite your own vows for that.

I am a very lapsed Catholic, but spiritual.

I am going to recite my own.

Tony Marino wrote:

I am going to recite my own.

Too soon for a glimpse into the romantic mind of Tony Marino?