Chris wrote:

Tony Marino wrote:

Couldn't you have bought a router in Radio Shack rather then spend a thousand dollars from the cable company? Radio Shack sells a good router for like 30 bucks.

Honestly, I was expecting to get one from the cable company for free. It was their product malfunctioning; well, their cord anyway. They're charging over $100 a month for this package that I have, they can give me a replacement router box should I ever need one (although they probably would have been slick and tried to charge my monthly bill for it.)

Sure they will try to get away with whatever then can. I thought that it was your responsibility if something like a router malfunctions but if you bought it from them then they should indeed replace it. Directv has some slick little side rules where the DVR box is concerned, you have to really listen and watch what you do with them.

Tony Marino wrote:

Thank you Chris I suppose that is part of the reason because I was closer to my Mama. It was his doing that pushed me closer to her. When I was 2 or 3 he brought me to see one of his many "female friends" and she gave me a little gift. He told me not to tell Mama where I got it from or where he took me. Guess what little Tony did when he got home and Mama asked where I got it?? Since that day, like Robbie I got the hated looks, beat up, humiliated etc. etc. His cruelty wasn't only restricted to me, he did the same to my other brothers and sisters too but I was the one that always got the look of pure hatred and disgust from him.

No problem Tony.

Despite how hurtful and disappointing it is that he never brought himself to be the father you needed him to be, that you put all that on the back burner and still step up to take care of him–despite having every reason to wash your hands of him–makes you a better man to an inf degree. Even though it hurts to think about how he is, and to still deal with him, you're a lot freer than many others are. So many people allow their parents mistakes and sins to warp, and negatively shape, who they are into adulthood because it's just that easy to. You could have become just like him, but you went the opposite way, and in effect killed his legacy of abuse and negativity. God didn't allow it to cycle through to the next generation, and it will be something that dies with him.

Tony Marino wrote:

Chris wrote:

Tony Marino wrote:

Couldn't you have bought a router in Radio Shack rather then spend a thousand dollars from the cable company? Radio Shack sells a good router for like 30 bucks.

Honestly, I was expecting to get one from the cable company for free. It was their product malfunctioning; well, their cord anyway. They're charging over $100 a month for this package that I have, they can give me a replacement router box should I ever need one (although they probably would have been slick and tried to charge my monthly bill for it.)

Sure they will try to get away with whatever then can. I thought that it was your responsibility if something like a router malfunctions but if you bought it from them then they should indeed replace it. Directv has some slick little side rules where the DVR box is concerned, you have to really listen and watch what you do with them.

I'm not totally sure what their policy is on it. I know a few times I have had to have the cable man come out to fix some sort of connection issue with the computer and at least once he replaced the router with a new one, and I don't recall being charged for it (beyond the service visit.) I guess in my mind I was thinking that something similar could take place this time as well. Thankfully, though, I got it up and running again, without having to go through all that rigmarole.

Chris wrote:

Tony Marino wrote:

Thank you Chris I suppose that is part of the reason because I was closer to my Mama. It was his doing that pushed me closer to her. When I was 2 or 3 he brought me to see one of his many "female friends" and she gave me a little gift. He told me not to tell Mama where I got it from or where he took me. Guess what little Tony did when he got home and Mama asked where I got it?? Since that day, like Robbie I got the hated looks, beat up, humiliated etc. etc. His cruelty wasn't only restricted to me, he did the same to my other brothers and sisters too but I was the one that always got the look of pure hatred and disgust from him.

No problem Tony.

Despite how hurtful and disappointing it is that he never brought himself to be the father you needed him to be, that you put all that on the back burner and still step up to take care of him–despite having every reason to wash your hands of him–makes you a better man to an inf degree. Even though it hurts to think about how he is, and to still deal with him, you're a lot freer than many others are. So many people allow their parents mistakes and sins to warp, and negatively shape, who they are into adulthood because it's just that easy to. You could have become just like him, but you went the opposite way, and in effect killed his legacy of abuse and negativity. God didn't allow it to cycle through to the next generation, and it will be something that dies with him.

Shale wrote:

Tony Marino wrote:

... His cruelty wasn't only restricted to me, he did the same to my other brothers and sisters too but I was the one that always got the look of pure hatred and disgust from him.

Tony, while I admire your ability to "do the right thing" and show forgiveness, if I were in similar circumstances, I know I would just turn my back and walk away. In fact, many would and no one would fault you for doing that. Just bear that in mind if this weighs on you too much. Don't let it eat you. Sounds like he has extracted enuf from you, your mother and siblings and is not worth it. He should reap what he sowed.

I considered it a few times Shale to just walk away but by that time I was too involved in all of his affairs (home care, banking, paying his bills, etc.) to just drop out and leave him flat. Now that he is nearing the end it just makes sense to see it all the way through. I reap my reward knowing that I did something good and I also learned a very valuable lesson about the elderly and just how precious they are. Through him I have met and talked with a lot of seniors and the knowledge I gained and the fun I had with them is something I value.

I just read both pages of this thread, and have to say that this is such an example of why I love our little group here...seems people are supportive of everything from an exciting new purchase to complex parenting issues to Alan finally getting some.

Kudos, Shale...awesome tv. Tony and Robbie, you guys are both such excellent people and it makes me sad to think of the things you have spoken about in this thread and before about your fathers. I guess all I can say is that nobody will ever have negative things to say about you, like sadly, you do about your fathers. Hugs to both of you sweet, sweet men.

As far as what I did yesterday, I saw my step daughter graduate from college. So very proud of her, it was an excellent day.

She gave me my Mother's day card yesterday, and sorry for this, but I just have to type it out because it was so beautiful...

"Thank you so much for everything you have done for me in the past four years I have been at school. I am sorry I don't get to see you as often as I would like, but hopefully I will have more free time now that I am done with school! I think you are a wonderful person and I am proud to say I have you in my life. I love you very much and I think you are a great mom to Joey and myself."

So, even though it was her day, I just loved getting that card yesterday too.

RedBedroom wrote:

As far as what I did yesterday, I saw my step daughter graduate from college. So very proud of her, it was an excellent day.

She gave me my Mother's day card yesterday, and sorry for this, but I just have to type it out because it was so beautiful...

"Thank you so much for everything you have done for me in the past four years I have been at school. I am sorry I don't get to see you as often as I would like, but hopefully I will have more free time now that I am done with school! I think you are a wonderful person and I am proud to say I have you in my life. I love you very much and I think you are a great mom to Joey and myself."

So, even though it was her day, I just loved getting that card yesterday too.

Red, that was simply beautiful!

Thank you so much Alan! As far as step children go, I could not have gotten any better than that wonderful young woman!

alan smithee wrote:

RobbieFTW wrote:

I thought we said we weren't gonna tell anybody!!!

I never agreed to that! Besides, Chris likes to peek in my window and you know he can't keep a secret

Told you to go easy on that 10th beer! You can't even remember.

Tony Marino wrote:

RobbieFTW wrote:

I don't have to imagine, because my dad is the same way. He was always ashamed of me and cruel and abusive, calling me names and humiliating me in front of others. Now he just shuns me when I'm the one that should be shunning him and maybe I do. Maybe its mutual cause I do shun him too, but guess what HE has no right to since he's the dad. Its his responsibility to always be willing & wanting to have a connection with me, despite how I feel! He isnt a nice guy to anybody really but he wasnt as harsh to my brother & sister and he treats his kids w/his 2nd wife better. I'm 25 now and he cant boss me around like he used to but on the rare occasion I see him he still gives me nasty looks and talks to me harsh, that's if he's not deliberately ignoring me. I know exactly why he hates me but I wont get into it. Just wanted to say I know exactly what you mean. Grateful my mom, stepdad and sisters & brothers love me despite him. You're better than me Tony cause when he's old I wont be the one taking care of him and if he ends up alone in a flop house, he will deserve it.

Sounds like we are in a similar situation Robbie. I don't know the real reason my father hated me, I guess it was something I did as a child because I got the same treatment as you but with physical abuse as well. I have every right to abandon him but the part of me that has my Mom's compassion is what kicks in and that is why I became involved. I don't like it one bit but I also can't sit back and watch someone just deteriorate and die, regardless of what he did to me. In the end I know I am a better person and would never end up like him.

Sounds like 2 really similar situations and my dad was physically abusive too. Once he hit me in the face with belt and left a strap mark by the corner of my eye and another time he beat me with an extension cord and another time you picked me up and threw me into a box of books. You get the idea. You definitely got a halo coming for all that you do FOR your old man despite all he did TO you.

Tony Marino wrote:

I spent most of the day with my father, he is bedridden now and I had to make him comfortable so his nurse and home attendant would be able to wash him properly so he stays clean. He has been sitting in a medical recliner that I bought for him and I had to pick him up in my arms and put him in bed. I felt really sad, can you imagine holding your father in your arms knowing that this man never loved you or cared for you and now you are literally his father! When I came home I thought of all the years I was so unhappy with this man and how so many of my friends and relatives have such loving fathers and I got stuck with the rotten apple. I cried for a little while, I guess I was feeling sorry for myself. I cried because I don't want to dislike my father but I just can't help it. I really wish that he had been more of a human being rather than a monster.

Sorry to hear. You'll be okay. You really are a good person Tony. If my father was that terrible to me, I wouldn't give two shits about him in his old age.

Today I'm at Miami International Airport waiting to board the flight back home. Damn layovers.

Nystyle709 wrote:

Today I'm at Miami International Airport waiting to board the flight back home. Damn layovers.

That sucks, I had a 4 hour layover in Dallas a couple of years ago. Were you on vacation NY??

Nystyle709 wrote:

Tony Marino wrote:

I spent most of the day with my father, he is bedridden now and I had to make him comfortable so his nurse and home attendant would be able to wash him properly so he stays clean. He has been sitting in a medical recliner that I bought for him and I had to pick him up in my arms and put him in bed. I felt really sad, can you imagine holding your father in your arms knowing that this man never loved you or cared for you and now you are literally his father! When I came home I thought of all the years I was so unhappy with this man and how so many of my friends and relatives have such loving fathers and I got stuck with the rotten apple. I cried for a little while, I guess I was feeling sorry for myself. I cried because I don't want to dislike my father but I just can't help it. I really wish that he had been more of a human being rather than a monster.

Sorry to hear. You'll be okay. You really are a good person Tony. If my father was that terrible to me, I wouldn't give two shits about him in his old age.

Im good NY and thanks

Tony Marino wrote:

Were you on vacation NY??

I think she was there for her Godmother's funeral

Nystyle709 wrote:

alan smithee wrote:

I think she was there for her Godmother's funeral

Yep. I went and I'm back home now. I'm planning to go on vacation next month.

Where?