For those who insist on being "Politically Correct":
She does not:
GET PMS
- She becomes:
HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL
She is not:
A SCREAMER OR MOANER
- She is:
VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE
She is not:
EASY
- She is:
HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE
She does not:
CUT YOU OFF
- She becomes:
HORIZONTALLY INACCESSIBLE
She does not have:
BIG HOOTERS
- Her:
CUPS RUNNETH OVER
She does not have:
A KILLER BODY
- She is:
TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE
She is not:
A BAD COOK
- She is:
MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE
She is not:
A BAD DRIVER
- She is:
AUTOMOTIVELY CHALLENGED
She is not a:
PERFECT 10
- She is:
NUMERICALLY SUPERIOR
She does not:
HATE SPORTS ON TV
- She is:
ATHLETICALLY BIASED
She does not have:
SEXY LIPS
- She is:
COLLAGEN DEPENDENT
She does not get:
DRUNK
- She is:
ACCIDENTALLY OVER-SERVED
You do not ask her:
TO DANCE
- You request a:
PRE-COITAL RHYTHMIC EXPERIENCE
She is not:
A GOSSIP
- She is a:
VERBAL TERMINATOR
She does not have:
A GREAT BUTT
She is:
GLUTEUS TO THE MAXIMUS
She is not:
HOOKED ON SOAP OPERAS
- She is:
MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED
She is not:
COLD OR FRIGID
- She is:
THERMALLY INCOMPATIBLE
She does not:
WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE-UP
- She is:
COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED
She does not have:
GREAT CLEAVAGE (A GREAT RACK)
- Her breasts are:
CENTRALLY LOCATED
She will never:
GAIN WEIGHT
- She will become:
A METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER
She does not:
SHAVE HER LEGS
- She experiences:
TEMPORARY STUBBLE REDUCTION
She does not have:
A HARD BODY
- She is:
ANATOMICALLY INFLEXIBLE
She does not:
SUN BATHE
- She experiences:
SOLAR ENHANCEMENT
Her breast will never:
SAG
- They will:
LOSE THEIR VERTICAL HOLD
She does not:
SHOP TOO MUCH
- She is:
OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS
She does not have:
BIG HAIR
- She is:
OVERLY AEROSOLED
She does not:
SNORE
- She is:
NASALLY REPETITIVE
She does not:
GET DRUNK
- She becomes:
VERBALLY DYSLEXIC
She is not:
TOO SKINNY
- She is:
SKELETALLY PROMINENT
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