Naked man wielding 'Samurai' sword arrested after standoff with police

SAN JOSE, Calif. -- A naked man holding a "Samurai"-type sword was arrested after a bizarre New Year's Day standoff with police.

Authorities were called to Ezie Street (I've always wanted to live there) and Cas Drive in San Jose after several people called 911 to report a man standing in front of a home with an assault rifle just after 8 a.m. local time (11 a.m. ET).

As police rushed to the scene, witnesses said the man got in a car and drove to Southwest Expressway and Bascom Avenue. That's where police pulled him over.

Police said the suspect immediately got out of his car and started yelling, "You're going to have to kill me." (Lucky for him this wasn't some place like Texas or NYC or they would have obliged.)

He was naked and holding a large "Samurai"-type sword, according to police.

One witness told NBC Bay Area that the man was pacing back and forth waving the sword at times.

San Jose Police Department "Crisis Intervention Team" members were called to the scene and a standoff began. (They told him if he didn't surrender they were going to shoot his other sword off).

Coco (Loco) Bennett, 29, was taken into custody without incident (I think this became an incident as soon as he started waving his dick around in public) just before 11 a.m. local time (2 p.m. ET).

Police said he would be evaluated by doctors. (Really? What on earth for?)

An AR-15-type assault rifle was recovered, according to police

January 1, 2013 9:04 AM

Los Angeles (NBC-LA) – A naked man caught choking a chicken outside a Los Angeles residence was rushed to the hospital after he was shot by the chicken’s owner, Arthur Spreadem.

It happened around 2 a.m. between E 3rd and E 4th streets. Police said the chicken’s repeated squawking woke those inside. When Spreadem grabbed his gun and went outside to see what was going on, he found a naked man choking his chicken.

When Spreadem ran over to help his bird, the naked man, later identified as 20-year old Jerome Nutzak, jumped him and began to choke and bite him. Fearing for his life, Spreadem drew a gun and fired twice. One shot hit Nutzak in his "upper thigh". The gun then jammed.

The two continued to struggle until the Speadem was able to pin Nutzak to the ground until police arrived.

Nutzak reportedly tried to bite the officers when they moved in to arrest him. When the police finally took him into custody Nutzak was taken to the Our Lady of Great Agony Medicak Center where he was treated for the gunshot wound.

Said Mr. Spreadem, "When I came outside and saw him with my cock in his hands, all I could see was red."

Nutzak has been charged with burglary with assault, resisting arrest with violence, lewd and lascivious behavior and animal cruelty.

Alan Smithee wrote:I don't know, Shale. I think the west coast still has you beat.

Alan Smithee wrote:I believe they're contractually obligated.

Tony Marino wrote:

Alan Smithee wrote:

Because most of them are members of the Bat Shit union and it's written into their current deal.