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Nystyle709
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    your friend's significant other

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    • Post n°1

    your friend's significant other Empty your friend's significant other

    Post by wants2laugh Thu Jul 21, 2011 2:36 am

    Imagine your friend's significant other came to your house and out of the blue kissed you. You are flustered and confused, as how he/she could do that to your friend. The response is "its not that serious between us, i want to be with you". The next time you see the friend he/she is talking about how wonderful the SO is, and how they are taking things to the next level.

    Do you tell your friend about what the SO said and did?
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    • Post n°2

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    Post by Bluesmama Thu Jul 21, 2011 3:23 am

    I was kinda-sorta in that situation once (long ago). I was visiting my best friend's brother (gay man, not a crush or anything), and her husband just happened to be there. They'd had a fight, so he went to her brother's house and, while he wasn't falling down drunk, he'd been drinking. It was the weirdest gathering, especially knowing that her brother had a big crush on her husband!

    At one point he moved closer to me on the couch and asked me if he could kiss me! I said no. I didn't even find the guy attractive!

    I told his wife, my friend. And she didn't believe me! She confronted him and believed his claim that he didn't remember any such thing happening. I was pissed! And so, no, I don't think I'd ever do it again.



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    • Post n°3

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    Post by Cheaps Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:26 am

    This sorta happened with a couple friend I had barely met. Late one night he had come by my house, and sent me some crazy textes, calling and blowin up my phone. I wasnt even home at the time. I seen all them textes and calls next morning when i woke up. I didn't know what to do for a week, until i had told my friend, which is who we met through. I really liked this new couple friend so wasn't sure what to do. We both agreed since it happened that one time that it best not to say anything, and if he were to do it again, then to let our friend know. He hadn't done or did anything like that since, so me and my friend still are the only ones who know.

    Was that the right thing to do?
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    • Post n°4

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    Post by TSJFan4Ever Thu Jul 21, 2011 5:51 am

    I would tell my friend. What the significant other did isn't right and I'd be very uncomfortable keeping it from my friend.
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    • Post n°5

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    Post by Chris Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:29 am

    I'd slap her! No, seriously I'd let her know immediately that whatever she thought could happen wasn't going to, and that since it wasn't 'that serious' between she and my friend, she shouldn't care if I told him to recommend someone else to play the game with.
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    • Post n°6

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    Post by Tony Marino Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:57 am

    I would let her know right away what he did because I am sure this is not the first time either.
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    • Post n°7

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    Post by (Oh!) Rob Petrie Thu Jul 21, 2011 9:19 am

    I wouldn't say anything unless it was a forceful situation.

    It just seems cruel in a way.
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    • Post n°8

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    Post by RobbieFTW Thu Jul 21, 2011 9:57 am

    I would tell my friend cause I likely wasnt the 1st or the last they tried to sneak around with. He should know!
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    • Post n°9

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    Post by Nystyle709 Thu Jul 21, 2011 9:58 am

    cheaps wrote:This sorta happened with a couple friend I had barely met. Late one night he had come by my house, and sent me some crazy textes, calling and blowin up my phone. I wasnt even home at the time. I seen all them textes and calls next morning when i woke up. I didn't know what to do for a week, until i had told my friend, which is who we met through. I really liked this new couple friend so wasn't sure what to do. We both agreed since it happened that one time that it best not to say anything, and if he were to do it again, then to let our friend know. He hadn't done or did anything like that since, so me and my friend still are the only ones who know.

    Was that the right thing to do?


    Yep.
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    • Post n°10

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    Post by Nystyle709 Thu Jul 21, 2011 9:59 am

    I wouldn't say anything unless it happens more than twice.
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    • Post n°11

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    Post by Cheaps Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:09 am

    Nystyle709 wrote:
    cheaps wrote:This sorta happened with a couple friend I had barely met. Late one night he had come by my house, and sent me some crazy textes, calling and blowin up my phone. I wasnt even home at the time. I seen all them textes and calls next morning when i woke up. I didn't know what to do for a week, until i had told my friend, which is who we met through. I really liked this new couple friend so wasn't sure what to do. We both agreed since it happened that one time that it best not to say anything, and if he were to do it again, then to let our friend know. He hadn't done or did anything like that since, so me and my friend still are the only ones who know.

    Was that the right thing to do?


    Yep.

    Whew! Wink
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    • Post n°12

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    Post by RedBedroom Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:47 am

    I wouldn't say a thing. I have been there and the friend will always take the guy's side unless she is ready to leave him. And if she is ready to leave him, she already knows he's a dog. My feeling on this is if his wandering eye is such that he feels "safe" to hit on me, he has been a dog long enough and she already knows.
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    • Post n°13

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    Post by Alan Smithee Thu Jul 21, 2011 1:29 pm

    That's a tough call. Tell or not tell, the situation can splatter all over you. I might not say anything if it was just one time but I would try as best I could to help my friend see the light. Here's another variable to the equation. What if you're involved with someone? Do you tell your S.O. that someone did that to you?
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    • Post n°14

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    Post by Bluesmama Thu Jul 21, 2011 2:22 pm

    RedBedroom wrote:I wouldn't say a thing. I have been there and the friend will always take the guy's side unless she is ready to leave him. And if she is ready to leave him, she already knows he's a dog. My feeling on this is if his wandering eye is such that he feels "safe" to hit on me, he has been a dog long enough and she already knows.


    It is so very, very true. Even if the guy has proven to her time and again that he is a dog, she'll still make excuses for him.

    Nope. And if it that happened to me again and my friend eventually asked me why I didn't tell her, I would answer her with a question with: "Would you have believed me?"
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    • Post n°15

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    Post by Supernova Thu Jul 21, 2011 2:33 pm

    Well the first thing I'd do would be to slap him. Second thing would keep him in a headlock until he confessed to his wife and then throw him to her and let nature take its course.
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    • Post n°16

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    Post by wants2laugh Thu Jul 21, 2011 3:35 pm

    Great answers. I was in this situation years ago, I told my friend. First she cried and was devastated, then she broke up with him... but she still never talked to me again. And it really wasnt my fault.

    And in the situation where i was hit on, yeah i did tell my partner. He never felt threatened by stuff like that cause we were solid.
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    • Post n°17

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    Post by Nystyle709 Thu Jul 21, 2011 8:51 pm

    wants2laugh wrote:Great answers. I was in this situation years ago, I told my friend. First she cried and was devastated, then she broke up with him... but she still never talked to me again. And it really wasnt my fault.

    This is why I don't get involved in other people's relationships. Best to just let sleeping dogs lie. They will get found out eventually.
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    • Post n°18

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    Post by FireIce918 Thu Jul 21, 2011 11:57 pm

    Absolutely, and let the chips fall where they may. She can take it or leave it, but at least she knows.
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