Dan Savage Threatens To Redefine ‘Rick’ If Santorum Does Not ‘Behave’ In The 2012 Election Cycle

Dan Savage Threatens To Redefine ‘Rick’ If Santorum Does Not ‘Behave’ In The 2012 Election Cycle
by Frances Martel | 8:08 pm, July 27th, 2011


Sex columnist Dan Savage has no intention of letting Rick Santorum get away with being a third-tier Presidential candidate who opposes gay marriage. After a decades long assault on the word “Santorum” (it has now, through Google, been turned into a gay sex euphemism), Savage released a video warning that he has brand new definitions for “Rick” at the ready should the former senator say something offensive enough about the LGBT community.

The video, whose threat is somewhat diminished by the fact that it was released over the Funny or Die network, features a Liberty University-clad Savage warning that he already has a fully-loaded weapon up his sleeve: a grotesque definition for the word “Rick” to match that of his last name. This, of course, means that Savage has taken all sorts of people hostage, everyone with the first name, several of which plead with Santorum to “behave” else their names will be correlated to the definition, too.

In the funniest bit of the video, even Conan mainstay Andy Richter shows up to plead with Santorum, as “the new definition is so disgusting that even having the sound ‘rick’ in the first half of my last name is scaring me.” The definition is never said in full, as most of the grossest stuff is appropriately bleeped out, but it sounds like both genders and several bodily fluids are involved. It’s not really necessary to know what the details are. “The ball is in your court,” Savage concludes, “and it’s not like you can start going by Dick Santorum, is it?”

So what did Santorum do this time to trigger Savage’s wrath? That seems to be the bit of mystery here. Sure, Santorum responded viscerally to Savage’s comments about wanting to “fuck the shit out of him” on Real Time with Bill Maher a couple of weeks back, but it shouldn’t be news to Savage that the man whose online reputation he destroyed thinks that he is “vulgar and disgusting and hate-filled.” And a lot has changed in the decade since Santorum compared homosexuality to bestiality– enough that he has toned down his anti-gay rhetoric significant and even handled a couple of man-to-man affection situations in stride.

That’s not to say that the comment that originally triggered this bizarre war wasn’t thoroughly offensive, or that Santorum’s attitude towards the LGBT community is, at best, suspect. But after a while, being vulgar and silly stops being a viable attention-getting mechanism for serious causes– especially against a candidate that has negligible support and a ghost of a chance of being on the radar in any of the 2012 primaries. Just as those who are inclined by outdated religious teachings to view the LGBT community as inferior gain no enlightenment from watching people dressed in leopard costumes throw glitter at politicians, so too will no one inclined to agree with Santorum find themselves more likely to oppose his views because a sex columnist decided the tired old joke “The Aristocrats” would be his new political bludgeon.

Watch Savage’s message to Santorum via Funny or Die below:

Forgiveness Man wrote:This guy destroyed Santorum's web reputation? Never heard of this Savage. lol (Or this site, and the wording already sounds biased. lol) It sounds to me like Savage is intolerant of Santorum's views. Now he's calling him names and trying to make nasty meanings for the guy's name? lol I guess this just goes to show that Rick Santorum is not the hateful one in this situation. I can only imagine how the left would react if somebody tried to make mean definitions of 'Obama' up. lol

I am sure many here are going to hate on Santorum. (It's par for the course) I personally think the guy's awesome. Doubt he'll get the nom, which makes Mr. Sex Blogger's attack on him even more pitiful. (He's obviously jealous that Rick is taken.) It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic. Making up naughty meanings for somebody's name because you don't like what he says? lol (Or really, because he's not into you. )Savage should stay on the playground. lol

In the meantime, I'll enjoy having Santorum always have the presidential candidate attached to his name and look forward to him getting a talk show down the road. The guy doesn't have a hateful bone in his body but apparently, he makes bigoted people like Savage mad. It's funny to watch hypocrites like Savage. lol Just makes Rick Santorum's job easier.

Side note: Hey Chris. WHERE do you find some of these stories? lol

Alan Smithee wrote:On the bright side, Dick has a snowball's chance in hell of getting the nomination. He makes for good comedy though.

Chris wrote:Most of the time, I just stumble across them by accident.