This is from within our family. It's a long story but basically, my niece has not been allowed in our house for 15 years because her father hated our family and got sole custody in the divorce by giving his lawyer a blank check. So over the years we have to find neighbors whose homes we can use to visit with her when she comes with her mom once or twice a year.

Throughout her life she has been in athletic training practically since she could walk, had to get up at 5 in the morning to run miles, has to do weight training, everything, has been in karate, in track, you name it, has always had to be THE brightest student, has never had an A minus IN HER LIFE.

Now she's 18 and going straight into college for 4 years, in the corp on a scholarship, then 4 years of medical school, 2 years of residency, and then into being a doctor. I asked her today when she's ever going to be able to have any fun and she said in the summertime.

Now, people look at this and they see it as a great experience, a great education, etc., I on the other hand call it a miserable life because she's never really been able to be a kid, she always had to be traveling to take part in track meets and karate competitions all over the world, can't eat for the entire day before a game because she might be a pound overweight, what the hell? And already at 18 she's had a dislocated hip and had to have hernia surgery and this isn't going away and everybody's saying she needs MORE exercise so the corp is just what she needs. MORE? I think she needs less, I think the poor kid actually needs a LIFE before she throws it all away in school and the military and medicine. But oooooh no her father was going to have a perfect kid, perfect student, perfect athlete, the only place he couldn't dictate her life was he wanted her to be an engineer and it was her decision to go to medical school, so that's a small victory.

I used to envy her because she got to go all over the world and do so much stuff, but I sure don't envy her now. I've already been in college, and virtually it was hell enough, I can't imagine going in person and going through the rigamarole she's going to, especially straight out of advanced gifted high school where she always had to get the best grades in everything.

If she can make it, I'll be very proud of her, but I can't imagine any kid having to live through what she's had to, couldn't ever be less than perfect in anything.

Sounds like MJ-esque. She's had great experiences....but if her life isn't balanced, they mean nothing. Kids need to be kids.

Nystyle709 wrote:

Sounds like MJ-esque. She's had great experiences....but if her life isn't balanced, they mean nothing. Kids need to be kids.

The only thing about it, so far as I know anyway, is that the bastard never hit her, but he HAS had her up in a plane that he's flying and he would go into complete tantrums and scream and throw fits while up in the air with her. But everybody thinks he and his whole family is soooooooo great, and they're so rich they can buy anything and anybody they want, and they're churchgoers so who would ever believe the crap they're not only capable of but have pulled off?

If she didn't like it, that is very unfortunate that she wasn't afforded a more relaxed schedule.

The thing of it is this whole part of her life has been planned out pretty much since she started kindergarten, she never had a say in it and never had a chance to find out what SHE wanted to do, it was all what her father wanted her to do.

Supernova wrote:

The thing of it is this whole part of her life has been planned out pretty much since she started kindergarten, she never had a say in it and never had a chance to find out what SHE wanted to do, it was all what her father wanted her to do.

So, is she against the aspect of her youth having to do with her sport and traveling for comps?

I just ask because my son's life is rather similar to what you described in your post. I am sure there are major differences, but with my son, all we wished was for him to do his sport. And he did and he loves it. Now, if he ever said he wanted to stop, it would end. We are not compulsive about it.

But part of me has always wished I knew for sure if his love for it is nature or nurture or a mix. Though I wonder that, don't get me wrong...he loves it to the point that he is so out of sorts when he is not racing.

That's the thing, she has been so indoctrinated about this whole thing for most of her life, I don't think she even KNOWS if she wanted to do it in the first place. Of course, when you only see her two days out of the year you don't really have much chance to find out what she's like and what SHE genuinely wants.

That has to be hard...to know and love her but not spend enough time to know for sure if she is a happy individual. She may just be...traveling and seeing the world for her sport is not the worst thing on the planet. Plus, the grade thing...my son has gotten less than A-, but he knows he has to maintain a B average to travel for his sport, and he gets crazy nervous if he does lacklustre studying for a test just in case he earns less than a B.