Do you think its annoying or charming when goodlooking people are insecure and think they're unattractive? A good friend of mine is basically a knockout and gets stared at all the time when we are hanging out in public but she doesnt think she looks good at all and has even cried at pics of her because she didnt like the face or smile she mad.

RobbieFTW wrote:

Do you think its annoying or charming when goodlooking people are insecure and think they're unattractive?

YES!

Yes, and yet at the same time...everybody I know tells me how cute I look, how I can wear any color, any hairstyle, etc., but I'm not seeing it.

I usually think it's annoying when people are insecure about their looks, because most of the time it's unnecessary IMO. A really attractive person thinking that they are unattractive or a skinny person thinking that they're fat to me is someone who is manic-depressive and probably could use some time on a couch.

Neither. People feel how they feel about themselves. . You're not them. Like Cat said, they prob. need some couch time.

Nystyle709 wrote:

Neither. People feel how they feel about themselves. . You're not them. Like Cat said, they prob. need some couch time.

Nystyle709 wrote:

Neither. People feel how they feel about themselves. . You're not them. Like Cat said, they prob. need some couch time.

Yeah, but it's very annoying when someone whines to you about how hideous or fat they are when no one else sees them that way. Some may have self esteem issues but others are just fishing for compliments. Which is another self esteem issue.

Alan Smithee wrote:

Yeah, but it's very annoying when someone whines to you about how hideous or fat they are when no one else sees them that way. Some may have self esteem issues but others are just fishing for compliments. Which is another self esteem issue.

In my experience it's more annoying because to me it seems like a bid for attention; as if they are trying to bait a compliment out of you by going on about how 'unattractive' they are. I briefly dated someone who very transparently downplayed her looks and pretended as though she didn't know what I saw in her. I told her that she was very good looking and that I wasn't going to say it again under those circumstances.

I agree with Chris is more like attention getting.

I have mixed feelings about it. In some cases I do agree that it's mostly about getting attention (particularly if they are that vocal about their looks or how they are perceived by others). But a lot of times I think it stems from either low self esteem or a flawed perception of yourself.

When I was younger I was very self conscious about my looks, and even though people would tell me that I was cute or attractive I never saw myself that way. I grew up thinking that attractive (for a black guy) was tall, dark and muscular, yet I was short, light and skinny. And I was also quick to notice many other flaws about myself (that I could still point out, but I won't) that other people would never mention. Therefore I didn't look like what I considered to be "attractive", and when people would tell me that I was, it sounded more like them just trying to make me feel better than the truth. So in many cases, I think it's a matter of what the individual perceives as attractive themselves. But I also had low self esteem when I was younger. Now that I'm grown, more mature and much more self confident, I care a lot less about what I look like, or what other people think I look like and tend to view physical beauty as a rather superficial quality anyway. I think I'm better looking than a lot of other people and I think there are also many other people who are better looking than me. At this point in my life, I really don't care because there are more important things to worry about.

Looking back from my age now I was quite pretty. At the time I thought I was a dog. I thought my figure was inadequate, and that I was strictly a bowwow. Now I can see I wasn't. Problem is now I still hate my looks and I am not going to live another 60 years or more to decide I was ok as an old lady.

Suzi wrote:

Looking back from my age now I was quite pretty. At the time I thought I was a dog. I thought my figure was inadequate, and that I was strictly a bowwow. Now I can see I wasn't. Problem is now I still hate my looks and I am not going to live another 60 years or more to decide I was ok as an old lady.

This reminds me of that Rudyard Kipling poem:

My Rival
by Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936)

I go to concert, party, ball--
What profit is in these?
I sit alone against the wall
And strive to look at ease.
The incense that is mine by right
They burn before Her shrine;
And that's because I'm seventeen
And she is forty-nine.

I cannot check my girlish blush,
My colour comes and goes;
I redden to my finger-tips,
And sometimes to my nose.
But She is white where white should be
And red where red should shine.
The blush that flies at seventeen
Is fixed at forty-nine.

I wish I had Her constant cheek:
I wish that I could sing
All sorts of funny little songs,
Not quite the proper thing.
I'm very gauche and very shy,
Her jokes aren't in my line;
And, worst of all, I'm seventeen,
While She is forty-nine.

The young men come, the young men go,
Each pink and white and neat,
She's older than their mothers, but
They grovel at Her feet.
They walk beside Her 'rickshaw-wheels--
They never walk by mine;
And that's because I'm seventeen
And She is forty-nine.

She rides with half a dozen men
(She calls them "boys" and "mashers")
I trot along the Mall alone;
My prettiest frocks and sashes
Don't help to fill my programme-card,
And vainly I repine
From ten to two A.M. Ah me!
Would I were forty-nine.

She calls me "darling," "pet," and "dear,"
And "sweet retiring maid."
I'm always at the back, I know,
She puts me in the shade.
She introduces me to men,
"Cast" lovers, I opine,
For sixty takes to seventeen,
Nineteen to forty-nine.

But even She must older grow
And end Her dancing days,
She can't go on for ever so
At concerts, balls, and plays.
One ray of priceless hope I see
Before my footsteps shine:
Just think, that She'll be eighty-one
When I am forty-nine!

well there is a difference between being insecure and being modest. I have a guy friend (since the 7th grade) who is and always has been absolutely gorgeous! but he is the nicest guy that you would ever meet. he has always been confident but yet modest enough to never hurt anyone's feelings or put anyone else down in any way....

unfortunately... the woman that he has been with for the past 3yrs has torn him to shreds mentally and NOW he is totally insecure... so NOW he is annoying, whereas before he was charming.

You can rebuild him. You have the technology.

Alan Smithee wrote:

You can rebuild him. You have the technology.

believe me... i have every intention of getting him up in every way possible!!! LOL