Let's say your husband or wife had an affair and you decided to forgive them,
but later it's discovered that their fling resulted in a pregnancy.

Would you allow their illegitimate child in your house?

I think I would. It isn't the child's fault and who am I to keep a kid away from their father? Like it or not they would have to be part of our lives.

Chances are if my wife had another mans illegitimate child, it would live with her (us.) I wouldn't be happy, but I wouldn't force her to choose.

Part of forgiveness would be to include the child in my family, but it would be one of the hardest things I would ever have to do. Ever.

AtownPeep wrote:

Let's say your husband or wife had an affair and you decided to forgive them,
but later it's discovered that their fling resulted in a pregnancy.

Would you allow their illegitimate child in your house?

Absolutely not. I wouldn't prevent him from doing right by his child, owning up to his responsibility, and having a relationship with them on his own terms at a more neutral place...but the kid (and especially not his mother) couldn't come in my house. Hell no.

How could you ever fault a Bambino for anything his/her parents do.

Chris wrote:

Chances are if my wife had another mans illegitimate child, it would live with her (us.) I wouldn't be happy, but I wouldn't force her to choose.

Yeah. See if you're a man, you don't have that much wiggle room with this kinda question, because kids usually stay with their mothers anyway.

A better question would be if I would move out.

Well, if I decide to ultimately forgive him, then I'd have to accept the child. The baby is innocent. I damn sure wouldn't like it and the woman he had an affair with wouldn't be welcomed in my house. I wouldn't deny him a relationship with his kid though.

My biggest problem wouldn't be with the baby because I love babies and would get over that part fast. My problem would be the mother coming around and as someone who's gay, gee I wonder who HIS family, friends & society in general would rally behind. . . me and our relationship OR the hetereonormative liason he had with some lady that produced a child. I would be be really threatened because it would seem unfair and not something I could at all compete with, but I wouldn't try to keep him away from his kid either. He or she could come over.

well......dang, that's tough, but I don't think I could reject a child like that.

As terrible as this may sound, no. First of all, the chances of me forgiving my husband for having an affair in the first place would be unlikely. If by chance I did, however, I surely would not be hunky dory with his illegitimate child (which would inevitably mean having to deal with its mother too) in my home. He would have to see him or her wherever he or she happens to live.

Yes, at least I'd like to think so. Hard to say with 100% certainty until you actually find yourself in that situation. But a child should never be blamed for the identity of their parents.

You shouldn't take things out on the child. That being the case, if I forgave the girl (HIGHLY UNLIKELY) and she had a child from it, I would probably leave her when I found out she was pregnant.

Even though I did "forgive" her earlier, it would be better for the kid for me to back away from it, because I probably couldn't offer it much love. That might sound messed up, but he/she would be a reminder of what that hoebag did...and it is because I think kids are beautiful and deserve all the love they can get, that I would back away and make room for him/her to have a more loving household.

Well it's his house too, so who am I to say that his family couldn't come over? I wouldn't be evil enough to try and challenge or roadblock his having a relationship with the kid, but I wouldn't be gracious enough to play host either. So I'd probably just leave or make myself scarce whenever the child was over.

I wouldn't suggest that he shouldn't own up to his responsibilities as a parent, or bond with the child, but I would hope he would have enough respect to not bring his love child to the home we shared. Especially after he was lucky enough to get me to forgive him for the indiscretion in the first place.

It isn't as if he already had this child before we become involved, and I knew going into the relationship that this was part of his reality. Instead the fool got some other woman pregnant as he was cheating on me, but I'm supposed to be big enough to welcome the child into my home and life. I'm not seeing that.

I would be like Katherine Jackson when it comes to Joe's extra-marital daughter Joh'vonnie. Do what you have to where that's concerned, but leave me out of it.

MsCrys wrote:

I wouldn't suggest that he shouldn't own up to his responsibilities as a parent, or bond with the child, but I would hope he would have enough respect to not bring his love child to the home we shared. Especially after he was lucky enough to get me to forgive him for the indiscretion in the first place.

It isn't as if he already had this child before we become involved, and I knew going into the relationship that this was part of his reality. Instead the fool got some other woman pregnant as he was cheating on me, but I'm supposed to be big enough to welcome the child into my home and life. I'm not seeing that.

I would be like Katherine Jackson when it comes to Joe's extra-marital daughter Joh'vonnie. Do what you have to where that's concerned, but leave me out of it.

So you're really saying that he should have to walk on egg shells just to be able to spend time with his kid? That's so not right. Yes he was wrong to have the affair and double wrong to not do something to protect himself from anything that may come out of it like disease or pregnancy, but stuff happens. A baby is now in the picture and as wrong as he was for letting it come to that, his "forgiving" wife would be as wrong to not allow the child to have a home with his father as well. If that's her attitude then she hasn't forgiven him like she says she has and may as well get a divorce.

Marc wrote:

Yeah. See if you're a man, you don't have that much wiggle room with this kinda question, because kids usually stay with their mothers anyway.

A better question would be if I would move out.

Yeah. She has an affair and winds up pregnant. If we're living together, how would I stop the kid from being there? Most women end up keeping their babies with them. How does it sound if I said "you can stay here, but your illegitimate whorechild has to go somewhere else" ? I'd probably break up with her before I said something that silly.