HomeEver date outside your race and if you did was it ever an issue?
+11
MandyPerfumeGirl
Shale
JM130ELM
stavdash
Impact
Nhaiyel
Jason B.
Nystyle709
Marc™
Tony Marino
AtownPeep
15 posters
Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
AtownPeep- …is a Power Member.
Join date : 2010-01-31
Location : Atlanta, GA
Posts : 1867
Rep : 39
Tony Marino- …is a Global Moderator.
Join date : 2010-01-31
Location : New York
Posts : 26786
Rep : 607
- Post n°2
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by Tony Marino Tue Jul 13, 2010 4:52 pm
Yep and it was no one's business but my own. I am sure there was whispering going around somewhere but I never heard it.
Marc™- …is a Chamber DEITY.
Join date : 2010-01-30
Location : Michigan
Posts : 12006
Rep : 212
Never dated (had sex with, yes....but never dated) anyone who wasn't black. I'm not opposed to IR at all, it just hasn't happened.
Nystyle709- ...is a 20G Chamber DIETY.
Join date : 2010-03-16
Location : New York
Posts : 27030
Rep : 339
- Post n°4
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by Nystyle709 Tue Jul 13, 2010 5:15 pm
Marc wrote:Never dated (had sex with, yes....but never dated) anyone who wasn't black. I'm not opposed to IR at all, it just hasn't happened.
+1
Jason B.- …is a Power Member.
Join date : 2010-02-11
Posts : 2967
Rep : 70
- Post n°5
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by Jason B. Tue Jul 13, 2010 6:47 pm
AtownPeep wrote:Ever date outside your race and if you did was it ever an issue?
Yes and it was fine, the race issue didn't come up at all. I think some things are so apparent that they don't even really need to be referenced to.
Nhaiyel- …is a Power Member.
Join date : 2010-02-02
Location : Jersey (West Orange)
Posts : 3137
Rep : 123
- Post n°6
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by Nhaiyel Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:37 am
Nope. I have had quite a few non-black guys heavily flirt with me, but strangely enough it has never progressed passed that.
Impact- …is a Power Member.
Join date : 2010-01-31
Location : Rochester, MN
Posts : 2570
Rep : 75
After college I briefly dated a black girl I worked with. There were a few silly jabs about it from some friends, but not anything hostile or bigoted.
stavdash- …is Significant.
Join date : 2010-02-01
Posts : 348
Rep : 7
- Post n°8
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by stavdash Sun Jul 18, 2010 1:53 pm
Me? No, I have never dated interracially, but am not opposed to it.
That being said...
I am fine with Interracial dating, so long as there is no agenda behind it. If two people both have mutual interests, enjoy each others company, and just happen to be of two different racial designations, then that is fine. Better than fine, in fact. It is warming to see cognitive commonalities rise above, and take precedence over, the outer surface. However, I have a serious problem with people who interracially date largely because they have a fetish for [insert race here] and/or an aversion towards (disinterest in) their own racial group. To me that is tacky, disingenenious and a sign of self loathing.
That being said...
I am fine with Interracial dating, so long as there is no agenda behind it. If two people both have mutual interests, enjoy each others company, and just happen to be of two different racial designations, then that is fine. Better than fine, in fact. It is warming to see cognitive commonalities rise above, and take precedence over, the outer surface. However, I have a serious problem with people who interracially date largely because they have a fetish for [insert race here] and/or an aversion towards (disinterest in) their own racial group. To me that is tacky, disingenenious and a sign of self loathing.
JM130ELM- …is Necessary.
Join date : 2010-02-02
Location : Chicago
Posts : 661
Rep : 32
- Post n°9
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by JM130ELM Tue Nov 23, 2010 12:32 pm
I've only ever dated black women, but I am having some smiley-smiley chemistry with this white woman at my job. She's not married or let it be known one day that she was single, so who knows.
Shale- ...is a Chamber Royal.
Join date : 2010-09-27
Location : Miami Beach
Posts : 9699
Rep : 219
AtownPeep wrote:Ever date outside your race and if you did was it ever an issue?
Well, don't think I actually dated, unless you counted those times we went to Waffle House with a group of co-workers but Brenda and I got together and became partners for a couple of decades.
My mother was hostile at first, sending Brenda's pic back with a note saying "what makes you think I want a picture of your black woman." I didn't communicate with her for a couple of years. Eventually she came around after realizing we were in it for the longterm.
I also never dated any black men but had sex with a few of them over the years.
Last edited by Shale on Sun Nov 28, 2010 9:21 am; edited 1 time in total
MandyPerfumeGirl- …is a Power Member.
Join date : 2010-05-31
Location : Illinois
Posts : 1273
Rep : 26
- Post n°11
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by MandyPerfumeGirl Tue Nov 23, 2010 7:51 pm
I'm white and I've never had a relationship with a black man, though I'm not against it - it just hasn't happened. I did have one date with with a black man (date, not relationship) and it never amounted to anything past that first date because the man was a pig, saying obsene, sexually-direct things which completely turned me off. I am open to an interracial relationship, though - good guys come in all forms.
Ghost1P- …is a Newbie.
Join date : 2010-06-17
Posts : 55
Rep : 6
- Post n°12
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by Ghost1P Wed Nov 24, 2010 9:57 am
I have dated pretty much any race that I felt attracted to. Latinas, Asians, black women, white women. I'm a proud strong, educated black man, but I never felt I had to only date black women in order to be black. Or in order to celebrate who I am, what I am, and where I came from.
...there was a time and I thought like this, but this changed after I graduated highschool. I have literally traveled the world. I've been in over 20 countries and lived in outside of the US for almost 10 years. I am glad I am not bound by the ignorance of skin color.
...there was a time and I thought like this, but this changed after I graduated highschool. I have literally traveled the world. I've been in over 20 countries and lived in outside of the US for almost 10 years. I am glad I am not bound by the ignorance of skin color.
TSJFan4Ever- …is a Chamber Royal.
Join date : 2010-03-28
Posts : 5362
Rep : 78
- Post n°13
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by TSJFan4Ever Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:04 am
Yes but it wasn't an issue. Attraction is far more important than race. Race doesn't even really enter the picture for me, but maybe that's because of where I live, and it's no where near as multicultural as other places. If I have my way, I'll have a multi-ethnic family, as I want to adopt from both Africa and South America. My friends tease me that I'll have a mini UN nations going in my house, as Asia was also a country I considered adopting from, until things were really toughened up and adoptions were slowed except for children with special needs. My parents always taught us to judge a person by what was on the inside, not the outside, so race was never a big issue for me.
Ghost1P- …is a Newbie.
Join date : 2010-06-17
Posts : 55
Rep : 6
- Post n°14
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by Ghost1P Thu Nov 25, 2010 1:48 am
TSJFan4Ever wrote:Yes but it wasn't an issue. Attraction is far more important than race. Race doesn't even really enter the picture for me, but maybe that's because of where I live, and it's no where near as multicultural as other places. If I have my way, I'll have a multi-ethnic family, as I want to adopt from both Africa and South America. My friends tease me that I'll have a mini UN nations going in my house, as Asia was also a country I considered adopting from, until things were really toughened up and adoptions were slowed except for children with special needs. My parents always taught us to judge a person by what was on the inside, not the outside, so race was never a big issue for me.
I have heard and I am not saying this is the case with you, so many racist white say something to the affect.
- My parents always taught us to judge a person by what was on the inside,
- I don't see color
- Or have stumble over an MLK quote.
I honestly believe that African babies and Asian babies have become the new "toy poodle" for white people. And I am 100% against it. and NOT because of race.
Here is my example. I was at the store talking to my oldest son, we were speaking Japanese and this lady comes up to us and asks "How did you learn Chinese" I just smiled at her ignorance. Adopting a child from another country and culture and not having a thought to learn about that child's country or culture to me is horrible. As the child grows not being able to teach his or her original family, but also having no ties to their cultures or ethnic past. "multi-culture "multi-ethnic" are buzz words for white who seek to be something more than they are. "I'm Irish, Greek, American-Indian, and Spanish" those lines always make me chuckle. And the person claiming those racial ties know NOTHING about what the claim is a part of them.
buku so wa omowanai
...being White in America means never having to think about it.
TSJFan4Ever- …is a Chamber Royal.
Join date : 2010-03-28
Posts : 5362
Rep : 78
- Post n°15
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by TSJFan4Ever Thu Nov 25, 2010 2:06 am
You're making the assumption that I'm white. You're also making the assumption that I'm American. You're making an assumption that my family and I have never experiences racism or prejudice.
You also seem to be assuming that I will be keeping my children's culture from them when I adopt and that I know nothing of the countries I will be adopting from. You have NO idea what has lead to my desire to adopt from another country and you have NO idea of the environment in which my children will be raised, so please don't judge me.
If I wanted a toy poodle, I would CERTAINLY not be adopting from another country. I would GET a toy poodle. I'm glad that the friends of mine who have adopted internationally can't see this post, or they would be extremely offended by the assumptions you have made. They didn't chose their children because they wanted toy poodles and some went to great lengths to bring their children home.
You also seem to be assuming that I will be keeping my children's culture from them when I adopt and that I know nothing of the countries I will be adopting from. You have NO idea what has lead to my desire to adopt from another country and you have NO idea of the environment in which my children will be raised, so please don't judge me.
If I wanted a toy poodle, I would CERTAINLY not be adopting from another country. I would GET a toy poodle. I'm glad that the friends of mine who have adopted internationally can't see this post, or they would be extremely offended by the assumptions you have made. They didn't chose their children because they wanted toy poodles and some went to great lengths to bring their children home.
Shale- ...is a Chamber Royal.
Join date : 2010-09-27
Location : Miami Beach
Posts : 9699
Rep : 219
Ghost1P wrote:
I have heard ...so many racist white say something to the affect.
- My parents always taught us to judge a person by what was on the inside,
- I don't see color
- Or have stumble over an MLK quote.
I honestly believe that African babies and Asian babies have become the new "toy poodle" for white people. And I am 100% against it. and NOT because of race.
Here is my example. I was at the store talking to my oldest son, we were speaking Japanese and this lady comes up to us and asks "How did you learn Chinese" I just smiled at her ignorance. Adopting a child from another country and culture and not having a thought to learn about that child's country or culture to me is horrible. As the child grows not being able to teach his or her original family, but also having no ties to their cultures or ethnic past. "multi-culture "multi-ethnic" are buzz words for white who seek to be something more than they are. "I'm Irish, Greek, American-Indian, and Spanish" those lines always make me chuckle. And the person claiming those racial ties know NOTHING about what the claim is a part of them...
That sounds kind of harsh. We all have our own ideations of who we are and where we are in history and culture. Yes, I am DESCENDED from Europeans mostly, I think Irish and French but really don't know. I do know I have Choctaw in my lineage. But they are all dead so it really doesn't matter. I am descended from white Southern racists; had a great-great grandfather in civil war on the side of the CSA - but they are all dead now.
What I'm saying is, if you adopt a child from Asia, with Asian features and bring him to another country, is it really necessary to teach him the culture of his forebears? Should I embrace the culture of my Mississippi racist past?
I'm not saying you shouldn't try to connect to that if you think it important. You are the parent it is your call, but don't be critical of the American of Japanese ancestry who doesn't know a word of that foreign tongue and the only connection to Japan is the neat electronic devices that every other American kid has.
OH, BTW there does come a point when you don't see color. I have had it happen. Worked in a boys home, full of troubled black boys and troubled white boys. We had to talk to the police once about a runaway and when came time for a description - I could not immediately remember if he was black or white. It was just a fleeting moment, but I felt kind of good that it could happen, that you could focus on the troubled kid rather than what race he was from.
TSJFan4Ever- …is a Chamber Royal.
Join date : 2010-03-28
Posts : 5362
Rep : 78
- Post n°17
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by TSJFan4Ever Thu Nov 25, 2010 9:40 pm
Great post, Shale! I grew up in a family where our culture was celebrated, but it wasn't forced on us. It's something that I would like to bring to the family with my own children. I think connections are important, but if my children aren't interested, then that is their choice. I don't want them to feel that they have to give up their culture to be a part of the family. The children will likely be older, so I won't be started from scratch. They will already have lived in their own countries for a period of time, so I don't want them to feel that they have to loose everything. I'll offer them choices and leave it up to them.
ITA with what you said, though, Shale. Great story about how you can get to a point where you don't see colour.
ITA with what you said, though, Shale. Great story about how you can get to a point where you don't see colour.
Chris- Chamber Admin.
Join date : 2010-01-30
Location : Oak Park, Michigan
Posts : 23201
Rep : 330
I don't quite know how to answer this, considering. Totally open to, but simply haven't dated anyone who wasn't black or white. Most of the women I've dated were black, although I've dated a few white women too; with my being half black/half white, I don't know if that can be considered "interracial."
Ghost1P- …is a Newbie.
Join date : 2010-06-17
Posts : 55
Rep : 6
- Post n°19
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by Ghost1P Fri Nov 26, 2010 1:26 pm
TSJFan4Ever wrote:You're making the assumption that I'm white. You're also making the assumption that I'm American. You're making an assumption that my family and I have never experiences racism or prejudice.
You also seem to be assuming that I will be keeping my children's culture from them when I adopt and that I know nothing of the countries I will be adopting from. You have NO idea what has lead to my desire to adopt from another country and you have NO idea of the environment in which my children will be raised, so please don't judge me.
If I wanted a toy poodle, I would CERTAINLY not be adopting from another country. I would GET a toy poodle. I'm glad that the friends of mine who have adopted internationally can't see this post, or they would be extremely offended by the assumptions you have made. They didn't chose their children because they wanted toy poodles and some went to great lengths to bring their children home.
Meh,
Well My assumptions stand until proven wrong. And at this point you have done nothing more than point out they that my assumptions were assumptions. You mean to tell me my assumptions were assumptions? Holy crap! Ummm..... brilliant one you are.
I don't care if your family has ever experienced racism or prejudice.
I don't care about your desire to adopt from another country.
I don't care if you are American or not.
I don't care about the environment in with your children will be raised.
...and lastly I don't care if you are anyone else is offend at my post.
I'm not sure about "great length either" since many who adopt outside of their countries do so because the process is considerably less cumbersome than in their home countries.
"All they need is love" Bah. Not giving much thought to the culture background of these children; these human pet poodles. Raise them up culturally blind under the ignorant guise that "They are just like everyone else"
My belief still stands, African and Asian children are the new "things" for whites to collect.
Ghost1P- …is a Newbie.
Join date : 2010-06-17
Posts : 55
Rep : 6
- Post n°20
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by Ghost1P Fri Nov 26, 2010 1:39 pm
Shale wrote:
What I'm saying is, if you adopt a child from Asia, with Asian features and bring him to another country, is it really necessary to teach him the culture of his forebears?
And this is my point...
I am saying to many whites this is unimportant. Its not something many whites think about nor consider because (numerically and generally speaking) everyone around you look like you,...its not something white think about.
...When 200 million out of 300 million people are the same race is you, what importance is giving to culture?
Ghost1P- …is a Newbie.
Join date : 2010-06-17
Posts : 55
Rep : 6
- Post n°21
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by Ghost1P Fri Nov 26, 2010 1:54 pm
I have been a mentored for the past 10 years. Black boys, white boys...boys of all color. I don't need to pretend we are all the same color or some fictitious neutral color. Not remember the boys' color is not the same as not seeing the boys color. And not being able to tell the Police "He was a young Asian boy" could have resulted in them not being about the locate a kid that might be in danger.Shale wrote:
That sounds kind of harsh. We all have our own ideations of who we are and where we are in history and culture. Yes, I am DESCENDED f
OH, BTW there does come a point when you don't see color. I have had it happen. Worked in a boys home, full of troubled black boys and troubled white boys. We had to talk to the police once about a runaway and when came time for a description - I could not immediately remember if he was black or white. It was just a fleeting moment, but I felt kind of good that it could happen, that you could focus on the troubled kid rather than what race he was from.
Look man, many whites truly want to believe the "we are all the same color" theory. It keeps them from having to LOOK at a persons' color or past. My wife is Japanese, my best friends are white, Chinese, and India. I see their color, not to would be to pretend that a part of them does not exist. I simply don't let color determine how I will treat my friends.
But many whites simply no real understanding of CULTURE...so its really not important to them. Go to Asian, get a lil Chinese baby....and then compare
- not learning about the child's culture
- not learning the language of the children past
..and then compare that to racist Mississippians.
Culture is not something you FORCE...but rather teach. My children speak flawless Japanese its nothing that was FORCED on them...simply taught. My cousin's children are part African-American, part Nigerian. They speak American English, and the Nigerian English dialect (which my Cousin had to learn in order to teach his children)
Not just the language, but the history, cultural norms, ethnic understanding and celebration.
Shale- ...is a Chamber Royal.
Join date : 2010-09-27
Location : Miami Beach
Posts : 9699
Rep : 219
Just as many blacks get too uptight because their beliefs on race and culture are not universally accepted by the mainstream culture, then they get pushy, rude, and insulting.Ghost1P wrote:...Look man, many whites truly want to believe the "we are all the same color" theory. It keeps them from having to LOOK at a persons' color or past.
Ghost1P- …is a Newbie.
Join date : 2010-06-17
Posts : 55
Rep : 6
- Post n°23
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by Ghost1P Fri Nov 26, 2010 8:54 pm
Shale wrote:
Just as many blacks get too uptight because their beliefs on race and culture are not universally accepted by the mainstream culture, then they get pushy, rude, and insulting.
Probably,
....but I don't care if my beliefs are accepted. I believe what I believe. And this being a place where opinions are posted and replied...I don't think I'm doing anything that is abnormal. then again "just as many" is probably wrong as well since the numbers simply don't support "just as many" anything.
I'm a black man in America. My entire upbringing as been one of being forced to universally accept what those 200 million out of 300 million people say is acceptable. A person being a part of that 200 million majority race, in American, its easy for them to complain about about being "forced" since they have always been on the side of the enforcer (for lack of a better word)
...and I find it ironic that YOU wrote the above reply.
Shale- ...is a Chamber Royal.
Join date : 2010-09-27
Location : Miami Beach
Posts : 9699
Rep : 219
To assume that all those 200 million white ppl are monolithic in their opinion of "acceptable" is called a prejudice.Ghost1P wrote: ....I'm a black man in America. My entire upbringing as been one of being forced to universally accept what those 200 million out of 300 million people say is acceptable. A person being a part of that 200 million majority race, in American, its easy for them to complain about about being "forced" since they have always been on the side of the enforcer (for lack of a better word)
Some of those 200 million are homosexuals, atheists, other religious minorities or free spirits who defied the government dictates and that of the "enforcer" culture. In other words, because we felt the "enforcers" were wrong we became outcasts of that 200 million.
Why? I am not black. I have no first-hand experience of being black in America. What I do have is merely second-hand from my wife and her family and from reading history (not just the white-washed history they taught us in school) and from having lived in a segregated America before you were born. But, I am not black. My family is.Ghost1P wrote:...and I find it ironic that YOU wrote the above reply.
The White Side of Racism
Ghost1P- …is a Newbie.
Join date : 2010-06-17
Posts : 55
Rep : 6
- Post n°25
Re: Have you ever been in an interracial relationship?
by Ghost1P Fri Nov 26, 2010 10:48 pm
Shale wrote:
[color=blue][size=18]To assume that all those 200 million white ppl are monolithic in their opinion of "acceptable" is called a prejudice.
Agreed,
but I'm not sure what your point is since I never said ALL white people [anything]. The problem is that those you spoke of the the vocal-less minority and rarely speak up unless [insert issue] affect them. Therefore becoming the majority.
...and being white means never having to think about it.
Sponsored content
» NEW ADDRESS: http://conversationchamber.ipbhost.com/
» New project
» st pattys day
» White smoke signals cardinals have selected a new pope
» Red?
» Do You Look Like a Celebrity?
» Canned Foods
» English Muffins or Toast?