Would You Put Up With Your SO's Bigoted Family?

If your SO came from a fam that was racist or bigoted in any way that affected you or even just offended you, would you try to get along with them for their sake or would you refuse to be bothered with them period?

Even assuming the woman who might become significant to me wasn't poisoned by growing up in that environment, I can't see having a relationship with her unless she had disowned them. I couldn't/wouldn't tolerate being around them or risk having any children we might have being around those people. And if she still let them in her life, I wouldn't make her choose between me or them. She can have them.

Alan Smithee wrote:Even assuming the woman who might become significant to me wasn't poisoned by growing up in that environment, I can't see having a relationship with her unless she had disowned them. I couldn't/wouldn't tolerate being around them or risk having any children we might have being around those people. And if she still let them in her life, I wouldn't make her choose between me or them. She can have them.

In my case it wasn't my SO's family, it was mine. My mom reacted badly when she learned of "my black woman." We did not communicate for a couple of years but she finally came around and Brenda and I eventually visited her in St. Louis and years later my grandson and I visited in our trek around the country.

I didn't put up with mine. I damn sure wouldn't put up with another bigoted family.

Depends on just how much it annoys me but I wouldn't feel obligated to.

I don't think I'd be involved with someone like that.....unless he wasn't close to them.

Nope. And I would seriously reexamine my relationship with said person if the relationship they had with their bigoted kin seemed alright with them.

I always knew my son's paternal uncle thought he was better than minorities, but it never directly affected me because he never talked much about it as it was just something I picked up on in conversation. In the last couple years it has become much more of an issue because they give their son positive attention for speaking down about Mexicans. It makes me so sad because last summer this five year old got really bad about it. Every time I saw him there would be something said. It was very sad and I did say something but it didn't do any good.

If they were not close to their family then I would say its o.k. I have zero tolerance for bigoted people so I would not get involved unless there was that separation.

No, wouldn't be interested in putting up with that sort of thing.

My husband is from New Mexico however of German, Scots/Irish decent. When I told my father I was getting married he asked where he was from. I told him and he snarled "You are marrying a Mexican?". Until then I had no idea he was racist because being raised by my grandmother I was taught that everyone was the same.Then of course my husbands mother was the same.We didn't have much to do with either of them since we never lived near them.

I would show up at a family wedding with my black neice, hispanic bf, and asian best friend... then give them some kind of ethnic gift! LOL

When I first met my step-father-in-law he made a slur about my ethnicity that I didn't like, but I let it go. Before long he learned to like me better than he did his step-son (my husband).