Why is monogamy considered so important, when human nature tends to variety?

If it ain't broke, why try and fix it?

Human nature tends to variety? lol If we accepted everything people cloak under the guise of "human nature," we'd still be cavemen.

Why not stick with one sexual partner? lol Furthermore, why do you need to have others approve of promiscuity to do it? It seems curious to me that people feel the need to fight against monogamy in order to justify sleeping around. It's as if they feel inside that it's wrong and want everyone else to tell them otherwise so they feel good about themselves?

I think there are plenty of reasons to be monogamous. I've seen nothing good come from "varied" sexual partners. Contrary to the modern stereotyped, monogamy doesn't equate to blandness or oppression or any of the drab adjectives people like to stick onto it today. Even if we ignored the religious motives (ahem, Big bro. ), I think it's perfectly WITHIN human nature to be monogamous. I think those seeking "variety" are the ones going against their nature for a very brief degree of "fun."

But again, why do you need somebody to tell you that variety is good? I don't give two craps what the modern secularists say against monogamy. I see the benefits of it and the folly of promiscuity, and so I am going to be monogamous. Case closed. I don't care what people have against monogamy. I don't care if people agree or like my choices or not. People shouldn't need to seek my approval or call me names if I don't give it. (Ah, but they always do. )

People should own what they want. Doesn't matter why people don't agree with you, unless you think they might be on to something.

Forgiveness Man wrote:

Human nature tends to variety? lol If we accepted everything people cloak under the guise of "human nature," we'd still be cavemen.

Why not stick with one sexual partner? lol Furthermore, why do you need to have others approve of promiscuity to do it? It seems curious to me that people feel the need to fight against monogamy in order to justify sleeping around. It's as if they feel inside that it's wrong and want everyone else to tell them otherwise so they feel good about themselves?

I think there are plenty of reasons to be monogamous. I've seen nothing good come from "varied" sexual partners. Contrary to the modern stereotyped, monogamy doesn't equate to blandness or oppression or any of the drab adjectives people like to stick onto it today. Even if we ignored the religious motives (ahem, Big bro. ), I think it's perfectly WITHIN human nature to be monogamous. I think those seeking "variety" are the ones going against their nature for a very brief degree of "fun."

But again, why do you need somebody to tell you that variety is good? I don't give two craps what the modern secularists say against monogamy. I see the benefits of it and the folly of promiscuity, and so I am going to be monogamous. Case closed. I don't care what people have against monogamy. I don't care if people agree or like my choices or not. People shouldn't need to seek my approval or call me names if I don't give it. (Ah, but they always do. )

People should own what they want. Doesn't matter why people don't agree with you, unless you think they might be on to something.

People point out that animals aren't monogamous, for some reason man still prides himself on being a beast instead of an evolved progressed man, I wonder why? But in fact there are some breeds of animals that are monogamous and the fact that any exist at all I think still says something, that it's good enough for some animals, so why not for man too?

Eventually it comes down to each person, some people are satisfied and some are lucky and find the right person to be with either on the first try or early on, others don't, and some naturally have no sexual interest. Either way though I stress knowledge, information and protection protection protection. Know what you are getting into before you actually get into it and err on the side of caution. The relationship might not last but why have a permanent reminder that you'll regret for the rest of your life?

Supernova wrote:

People point out that animals aren't monogamous, for some reason man still prides himself on being a beast instead of an evolved progressed man, I wonder why? But in fact there are some breeds of animals that are monogamous and the fact that any exist at all I think still says something, that it's good enough for some animals, so why not for man too?

Animals also poop wherever they feel like. (Or, if you wanna go the other direction, animals don't use condoms. Maybe we shouldn't be comparing ourselves to animals? lol) IDK, why is it people need to resort to animals for justification? IMO, if people truly believe in what they do, they should own it.

Supernova wrote:

People point out that animals aren't monogamous, for some reason man still prides himself on being a beast instead of an evolved progressed man, I wonder why?

Its the desire to reproduce and the Testosterone that makes us that way.

Supernova wrote:

People point out that animals aren't monogamous, for some reason man still prides himself on being a beast instead of an evolved progressed man, I wonder why? But in fact there are some breeds of animals that are monogamous and the fact that any exist at all I think still says something, that it's good enough for some animals, so why not for man too?

It is true that some species of animals tend to be monogamous. However, Chimps and Bonobos, those species closest related to humans are not. In fact Bonobo behavior is very sexual and some females have been seen giving favors for food. So, prostitution also has a natural occurence.

Supernova wrote:

... I stress knowledge, information and protection protection protection. Know what you are getting into before you actually get into it and err on the side of caution. The relationship might not last but why have a permanent reminder that you'll regret for the rest of your life?

My sexual experience has had a long run and as mentioned a quarter century of it was in mostly monogamous relationships with one partner. (I did do a few guys in my two decades with Brenda) So, I have been on both sides of the issue. I also started later than a lot of kids at 19.

During the Free Luv days we rarely used protection and I was quite lucky not to get anything that lasted more than an antibiotic treatment. We were so uninformed about herpes, or hep-C (I did a yellow girl once). All the VD (STD) of the time was treatable.

Aside from feelings of commitment and honor, I'm monogamous for security. If I, or my wife, cheated, I would feel like our relationship was coming undone.

If you want to play around why bother getting married?

Some animals by the way are monogamous. I think the human animal though is the only one that can have self control.

The human animal can do anything it puts its head to.

I'm too stingy/jealous to share my toys.

Variety isn't MY nature!

Gibbon apes, wolves, termites, coyotes, barn owls, beavers, bald eagles, golden eagles, condors, swans, brolga cranes, French angel fish, sandhill cranes, pigeons, prions (a seabird), red-tailed hawks, anglerfish, ospreys, prairie voles (a rodent), and black vultures — are a few that mate for life.

Vultures groups will actually attack other vultures that "cheated" on their mates.

I have a sister who has been with her husband since she was 15, she is now 51 and has never even been felt up by another man. They basically grew up together, are best friends, and are very close. Her husband calls her constantly from work--- so much so that sometimes she complains, "what the hell does he want now?" LOL but i honestly dread the day that one of them should die, because I know the other will not be able to survive. I have always wished that i could find a relationship like theirs, as they laugh and tease, and love each other sooo much.

Forgiveness Man wrote:

Human nature tends to variety? lol If we accepted everything people cloak under the guise of "human nature," we'd still be cavemen.

Why not stick with one sexual partner? lol Furthermore, why do you need to have others approve of promiscuity to do it? It seems curious to me that people feel the need to fight against monogamy in order to justify sleeping around. It's as if they feel inside that it's wrong and want everyone else to tell them otherwise so they feel good about themselves?

I think there are plenty of reasons to be monogamous. I've seen nothing good come from "varied" sexual partners. Contrary to the modern stereotyped, monogamy doesn't equate to blandness or oppression or any of the drab adjectives people like to stick onto it today. Even if we ignored the religious motives (ahem, Big bro. ), I think it's perfectly WITHIN human nature to be monogamous. I think those seeking "variety" are the ones going against their nature for a very brief degree of "fun."

But again, why do you need somebody to tell you that variety is good? I don't give two craps what the modern secularists say against monogamy. I see the benefits of it and the folly of promiscuity, and so I am going to be monogamous. Case closed. I don't care what people have against monogamy. I don't care if people agree or like my choices or not. People shouldn't need to seek my approval or call me names if I don't give it. (Ah, but they always do. )

People should own what they want. Doesn't matter why people don't agree with you, unless you think they might be on to something.

Hmmm. Wow! I agree!

I have no problem with anyone playing around when they are free and single, but when it comes to being in a relationship with someone that you have committed to or married, I don't believe in going outside that relationship for sex.

Nystyle709 wrote:

Because there are diseases out there. Fuck around and catch something you weren't supposed to catch and you won't be able to enjoy any "variety" at all. Also, it might be human nature to like variety, but it's also human nature to be territorial. Sex bonds people. And if you're with someone you really love and/or care about, you don't want them screwing anyone else.

This is what I'm talking about. I've been with my partner for 17 years and of course I see good looking people out there, that's natural, but my baby is #1 in my book and I don't think I could go outside the relationship even if he gave me permission. I simply don't want to and I wouldn't want him to either.

Shale wrote:

What if you're married to a woman and you still like getting it on with men?
.

I think the statement he gave, answers that question.

Shale wrote:

What if you're married to a woman and you still like getting it on with men?

LOL! Simple! Don't marry a woman. Listen, I know there are people that have no problem with being non monogamous. To each his own. I'm just saying for me, I wouldn't cheat on the person that I'm in a relationship with.

There's nothing wrong with monogamy. I've been that way for well over 30 years and it hasn't done me any harm. As a matter of fact I'm better off for it.

Shale wrote:

Not so simple if you love the woman and want to share your life with her. For over 18 years we had a loving marriage and enjoyed great sex together. She was the only woman I had sex with during that time, but I also had desires for male physical intimacy that did not take anything away from my relationship with my wife.

It is hard for ppl acculturated to the mainstream 'acceptable' mores to understand this but it was not actually that uncommon in the past where bisexuality was more common and even encouraged. The Spartan soldiers hung out most of the time in the barracks with their comrades (including intimacies) then they would go home on leave to visit their wives and make more Spartans. It was just normal. IDK what they did to guys who were not switch hitters.

Shale, I understand and I'm totally open minded. The thing is, for me, I can't go outside my relationship, but I concede, that some people have no problem with it. I don't judge. They have to do what right for them.

Shale wrote:

What if you're married to a woman and you still like getting it on with men?

My wife understood my needs before going into our relationship and knew there would be some needs that she could not provide for. We were both of the Free Luv era and understood that sex was just sex. In fact I was infatuated with a couple of women during our two decades together, but never acted on it because it was not a great need. I told my wife about the one infatuation and all she was concerned with was how would it affect our relationship. She then told me to go see the woman and get it out of my system. (Didn't - not really necessary). Her only objection was "Don't bring anything home - no babies and no diseases." I took precautions for the diseases - babies were out of the question.

But I did about three different guys while we were still a couple. After we separated she was concerned about me finding a new partner and even enquired about some of the guys she knew I was seeing.

Okay, now I need to comment on this.

Your marriage was not exactly mainstream, and not one that many of us would want. But the love you had for your wife is apparent in that you chose to not hurt her or put your relationship at risk. There were some boundaries and you chose to honor them. There is much to be said for that.