If your family and your longterm partner or spouse didn't like each other, which would you be more committed to....preserving your place and relations with your immediate family, or your relationship?

If it came down to between my mother, and a guy, I'm going with my mother. Reminds me of the line from Prom Night III: 'Girlfriends come and girlfriends go, but best friends are forever'. And my family is proof enough that once isn't the lucky number, if he wants to leave because I side with my family, screw him anyway, I don't need him.

Depends on my relationships with both. Since my spouse is the one I chose to merge with to create a new life for myself, they'd come first. At a certain point bio family has to let go and let the individual have the life and partner of their choosing.

My family. If my boyfriend couldn't get along with my family, he's not someone I'd want to marry. My family is pretty reasonable and accepting and very loving, so if he wanted no part of them... well - I'd be saying good-bye pretty fast.

I'm not close to my family, so I'd probably go with the person I actually chose to be in my life. I don't like my family; why should my boyfriend?

This thread reminds me of something I overheard yesterday. I was leaving a waterpark after dropping my son off for a party. There was a couple walking in as I was leaving. The guy said to the woman he was with, "So my objectives for the day are stay out of the bar and be nice to your mother." I thought that was so funny and reflects my thoughts on this topic.

If I have a man in my life that I love enough to be with long term, he should at least fake it with my family if he doesn't like them. If my family was so awful that the guy I love can't keep peace with them, chances are I wouldn't be that close with them either.

I would absolutely choose my mother (my entire family) over a guy. She has been there through my entire life - he probably won't be.

Impact wrote:

Depends on my relationships with both. Since my spouse is the one I chose to merge with to create a new life for myself, they'd come first. At a certain point bio family has to let go and let the individual have the life and partner of their choosing.

Just because it's your mother doesn't make her right.

When I fell in love with a black woman I found out my mother was a quiet racist (separate but equal bullshit).

I didn't communicate with her for a couple years. She finally apologized to my wife and we were on good terms - even visited. But it was no problem choosing my partner over my family.

I would put my wife over everyone, except my daughter. Impact said it best; the one you choose as your life partner takes precedence over your biological family.

If I'm married, or in a relationship that is serious enough for marriage, then the my BF/Husband would have to take immediate precedence. If my family couldn't respect my life partner, then that's really a sign of them not respecting me as my own person.