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    Isn't it interesting....

    RedBedroom
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    • Post n°1

    Isn't it interesting.... Empty Isn't it interesting....

    Post by RedBedroom Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:05 am

    ...how much we all differ on coping methods and how we deal with loss?

    Since my mom died, I have found it so interesting to witness how people deal with really bad health news and death. Some people are so stoic and brave while others are a mess.

    Where do you fall when it comes to friends and family getting bad health news?
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    • Post n°2

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    Post by wants2laugh Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:25 am

    well... in my family everyone dies really old... so it was either expected, or even a blessing so the person was no longer suffering. So those deaths, even the funerals, never affected me. My sister however, was only 47. I truly was not prepared for it, and during the week of her services, I was fully together and concentrating on making her funeral exactly the way she wanted it. Even the months after her death really did not affect me as deeply and emotionally as did the holiday season. She died on new years day.... when thanksgiving, then her birthday (nov 30), then christmas, then the anniversary of her death seemed to come all on time of each other, I completely lost it. I became severely severely depressed, and felt so guilty, and cried every day all day. Weird things began happening, like things being moved, and I would find them in a box that I had not opened in a year or so... i had several copies of her death certificate--- used one for the county, one for the DMV... and had one in my file. Then one day I opened my mail and a copy was in my mailbox saying "found this in a copier at the PO" in a town i have never been to! It was nuts. I thought I was going crazy.
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    • Post n°3

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    Post by RedBedroom Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:49 am

    Wow, that is odd.

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    • Post n°4

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    Post by RedBedroom Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:52 am

    Mom is the one and only death that really changed me. It was odd. I had so much to do with thank you cards and business matters in the beginning of my grieving process. So, I went into taskmaster mode.

    The day of the six month anniversary of her death, I was a wreck from the moment I got out of bed...yet, I usually don't even notice the year anniversary. I have to stop and think now how many years it has been. I guess I found a new normal that was pretty functional. But that's not to say it doesn't friggin' suck. I found a video of her I had either not watched or forgot about right before Mother's Day this year. Made me a bit of a mess.
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    • Post n°5

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    Post by Shale Sat Jun 16, 2012 9:04 am

    My wife died of ALS a debilitating disease that ran about a year. It was hard watching her slowly die. We had actually divorced a couple years earlier but she was living in the next county with her daughter and I would bus up there twice a week to visit her.

    When the inevitable happened it was one of those sad reliefs. For a few years I found I would not just tear up at certain movies or moments but actually sobbing episodes that made me grateful it was at home alone. (Always worried that it might happen in a theater but never did - must be some stoic control mechanism in there that only allows it when alone).

    Over the years I wrote about 5 poems/prose pieces about my feelings of loss. This was my last on the anniversary of her death:

    I Don't Cry So Much Anymore
    August 20, 2011

    I cried 11 years ago
    Tho relieved that
    Your suffering was thru

    I cried for the past decade
    In sorrow. Missing You

    I miss you still
    Miss what we were
    But time does heal,
    I don't cry so much Anymore.

    Damn, gotta go blow my nose. cries
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    • Post n°6

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    Post by Cheaps Sat Jun 16, 2012 12:56 pm

    Depends on who it was that received bad news, if it was my mama, or even a close sibling, I'd be a mess.
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