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How would you attempt to raise a decent child in today's society? Is there anything common that you observe other parents doing that you would/wouldn't do in raising your own?
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Suzi
Nystyle709
Forgiveness Man
Supernova
Chris
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How to raise decent children in todays world.
Chris- Chamber Admin.
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Supernova- The Book Chamber
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Hell of a lot, that's the simple answer.
Actually RAISE your kids first and foremost, no electronic babysitters to shut them up. Actually TALK to your kids so they know what you expect of them and what you expect them to do, so they know what is acceptable behavior and what is not, what's right and wrong, what's real and fake, etc.
Another one and I don't think I can stress it enough, turn the damn TV off. When I was little, our parents would put it on to a certain channel and that's what we watched, of course back then the kids' channels were reliable for some good entertainment, today it's all crap and in between is a bunch of stuff that'll warp them. If I saw half the stuff on TV today when I was a kid I think I'd be messed up for life, I know I'm already warped from the bloody movies my father watched all the time regardless of who was in the room.
Actually RAISE your kids first and foremost, no electronic babysitters to shut them up. Actually TALK to your kids so they know what you expect of them and what you expect them to do, so they know what is acceptable behavior and what is not, what's right and wrong, what's real and fake, etc.
Another one and I don't think I can stress it enough, turn the damn TV off. When I was little, our parents would put it on to a certain channel and that's what we watched, of course back then the kids' channels were reliable for some good entertainment, today it's all crap and in between is a bunch of stuff that'll warp them. If I saw half the stuff on TV today when I was a kid I think I'd be messed up for life, I know I'm already warped from the bloody movies my father watched all the time regardless of who was in the room.
Forgiveness Man- …is a Chamber Royal.
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- Post n°3
Re: How to raise decent children in todays world.
by Forgiveness Man Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:50 am
To raise decent children in today's world, the most important thing is to tune OUT the world. lol (And most likely keep them out of the school system. 
)
)
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Forgiveness Man wrote:To raise decent children in today's world, the most important thing is to tune OUT the world. lol (And most likely keep them out of the school system.
Doesn't hurt when it's possible, I'll say that.
Oh wait... 
Nystyle709- ...is a 20G Chamber DIETY.
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Educate them. Properly. And that comes from me, as well as the schools they attend.
Suzi- …is a Power Member.
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Thankfully I don't have to even think about that,there will be no more child rearing in this house. The kids are all middle aged, the grandchildren are grown as are the godchildren. I get the galloping shudders even thinking about raising kids again. It is a thankless job if one does it right,and there is nothing rewarding about it, it is just a lot of hard work. I had a friend who talked about how rewarding it was raising children, that was because she didn't raise them. The baby sitters did, or they raised themselves. She was a nurse and when they were still quite young she figured as long as she was home after night shift they didn't need sitters, so while she slept they did fun things like paint the neighbors car.
Supernova- The Book Chamber
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Suzi wrote:Thankfully I don't have to even think about that,there will be no more child rearing in this house. The kids are all middle aged, the grandchildren are grown as are the godchildren. I get the galloping shudders even thinking about raising kids again. It is a thankless job if one does it right,and there is nothing rewarding about it, it is just a lot of hard work. I had a friend who talked about how rewarding it was raising children, that was because she didn't raise them. The baby sitters did, or they raised themselves. She was a nurse and when they were still quite young she figured as long as she was home after night shift they didn't need sitters, so while she slept they did fun things like paint the neighbors car.
I'm sorry it was like that for you, Suzi. I like to think that my mother is pleased with how we turned out and she knows we appreciate her. She has 4 kids, but we were 2 different sets, she had two girls back to back, and then 15 years later had my brother and then I followed 5 years later, so all of us were not raised at once at the same time. But she tells about how she used to know a woman who back when my mom had 2 kids, this other woman had 4 kids, and she explained that she HAD four kids so they can do all the housework and she doesn't have to do anything. And all I can think of with that case is what a bitch, if you didn't HAVE 4 kids you wouldn't HAVE so much housework to be done.
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First off I would teach them respect. Next would be a proper education, more than likely a private school. They would have to learn to earn what they want as far as material things. They would also have to interact with other children and join something whether it be boy scouts, girl scouts, baseball, etc. My children would never sit in the house 24/7 on a computer, Iphone etc. they can have some time on said things but only when I thought it was o.k. It would be mandatory that they read 1 hour a day, if they didn't want to, then they get no TV or computer etc.
Sounds a bit stiff but I think that is the problem today, kids control their parents when it should be the other way around. I think I would make a damn good father.
Sounds a bit stiff but I think that is the problem today, kids control their parents when it should be the other way around. I think I would make a damn good father.
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Tony Marino wrote:First off I would teach them respect. Next would be a proper education, more than likely a private school. They would have to learn to earn what they want as far as material things. They would also have to interact with other children and join something whether it be boy scouts, girl scouts, baseball, etc. My children would never sit in the house 24/7 on a computer, Iphone etc. they can have some time on said things but only when I thought it was o.k. It would be mandatory that they read 1 hour a day, if they didn't want to, then they get no TV or computer etc.
Sounds a bit stiff but I think that is the problem today, kids control their parents when it should be the other way around. I think I would make a damn good father.
Well I agree with most of it but having to join something, that's the one I'm not too sure about, in theory it sounds great, but I know firsthand that being in the boy scouts doesn't mean a damn thing, some of their leaders don't even know the first thing of what the hell they're doing so how can they teach the kids anything?
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There are other activities children can get involved in. The point would be to have them interact with other children to learn social skills as well as whatever they are involved in.
Suzi- …is a Power Member.
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All my kids turned out law abiding decent citizens, however it was hard work, because I didn't just let them run with the crowd. Hard work that I wouldn't choose to do again. As I pointed out it is very rewarding if you don't actually raise the kids.Supernova wrote:
I'm sorry it was like that for you, Suzi. I like to think that my mother is pleased with how we turned out and she knows we appreciate her. She has 4 kids, but we were 2 different sets, she had two girls back to back, and then 15 years later had my brother and then I followed 5 years later, so all of us were not raised at once at the same time. But she tells about how she used to know a woman who back when my mom had 2 kids, this other woman had 4 kids, and she explained that she HAD four kids so they can do all the housework and she doesn't have to do anything. And all I can think of with that case is what a bitch, if you didn't HAVE 4 kids you wouldn't HAVE so much housework to be done.
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- Post n°12
Re: How to raise decent children in todays world.
by Alan Smithee Wed Jun 27, 2012 2:56 pm
Start by being a decent person yourself.
wants2laugh- …is a Power Member.
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Alan Smithee wrote:Start by being a decent person yourself.
The first thing I would do is quit work and be there for my kid. And to do this, I would have picked a good and supportive man who is not a bum and is willing to support the family while i raise our child. I don't understand people who have kids with someone, break up and then bash the person for being horrible--- YOU picked them, You decided they would be a good parent--- so do not hate them and bash them for your lack of judgement.
Also, I would make sure that i actually sacrifice for the kids.... i think bad parents are just selfish. I would not have a new mustang, i would have an older minivan or suv--- i wouldnt fly off the the islands, i would be vacationing in disney... I would not be out partying and spending money on hair/makeup etc
I do not understand parents who will go and by themselves a motorcycle, but then tell the kid that they are only allowed one pair of sneakers for the school year! doesnt make sense to me--- I outwear sneakers every few months, so i can i expect a kid not to? people are crazy
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wants2laugh wrote:
The first thing I would do is quit work and be there for my kid. And to do this, I would have picked a good and supportive man who is not a bum and is willing to support the family while i raise our child. I don't understand people who have kids with someone, break up and then bash the person for being horrible--- YOU picked them, You decided they would be a good parent--- so do not hate them and bash them for your lack of judgement.
Also, I would make sure that i actually sacrifice for the kids.... i think bad parents are just selfish. I would not have a new mustang, i would have an older minivan or suv--- i wouldnt fly off the the islands, i would be vacationing in disney... I would not be out partying and spending money on hair/makeup etc
I do not understand parents who will go and by themselves a motorcycle, but then tell the kid that they are only allowed one pair of sneakers for the school year! doesnt make sense to me--- I outwear sneakers every few months, so i can i expect a kid not to? people are crazy
This is true too. Or like one set of neighbors we got, the dad will get a new car every few months, and never fully get them paid off, got a 6 foot tall flat screen TV, but the fridge is always just about empty, and the kids have very few clothes, and they don't even have Kleenex for crying out loud, they have to use toilet paper for everything.
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I knew a divorced couple who fought over everything-- They shared equal custody, so there was no child support at all. But they split things like, one year the mother would buy the football uniform for the boy, while the father bought the cheerleading uniform for the girl, then the next year they would switch.
one year this same mother was supposed to buy her son his wrestling shoes--- she made it his christmas present... his ONLY christmas present. WTF??? IMO, these are a necessity. Now if he wanted $250 sneakers/wrestling shoes... and they are normally $80, then I can see making the "special" ones a gift. But i dont believe in "gifting" things that are required or necessary. If you choose to be a parent, these are the things that you are choosing to do.
i have a guy friend who pays child support, but has never been in his daughter's life because of the mother-- so he says. The daughter is in high school now, and the mother asked for him to pay for her $400 prom dress, and to chip in for a car. He was outraged because he felt this was why he paid child support. NOT- prom can easily run $1000 by the time you get done with dress, shoes, jewelry, hair... and got forbid if you pay for the limo/dinner etc. As for the car--- you had 17 years to prepare for buying the car-- so don't be an a$$hole now and act like you are surprised! I hate people... especially cheap people.
one year this same mother was supposed to buy her son his wrestling shoes--- she made it his christmas present... his ONLY christmas present. WTF??? IMO, these are a necessity. Now if he wanted $250 sneakers/wrestling shoes... and they are normally $80, then I can see making the "special" ones a gift. But i dont believe in "gifting" things that are required or necessary. If you choose to be a parent, these are the things that you are choosing to do.
i have a guy friend who pays child support, but has never been in his daughter's life because of the mother-- so he says. The daughter is in high school now, and the mother asked for him to pay for her $400 prom dress, and to chip in for a car. He was outraged because he felt this was why he paid child support. NOT- prom can easily run $1000 by the time you get done with dress, shoes, jewelry, hair... and got forbid if you pay for the limo/dinner etc. As for the car--- you had 17 years to prepare for buying the car-- so don't be an a$$hole now and act like you are surprised! I hate people... especially cheap people.
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Well, I have to side with the guy here (hope you don't hate me for being a cheap person)wants2laugh wrote:...i have a guy friend who pays child support, but has never been in his daughter's life because of the mother-- so he says. The daughter is in high school now, and the mother asked for him to pay for her $400 prom dress, and to chip in for a car. He was outraged because he felt this was why he paid child support. NOT- prom can easily run $1000 by the time you get done with dress, shoes, jewelry, hair... and got forbid if you pay for the limo/dinner etc. As for the car--- you had 17 years to prepare for buying the car-- so don't be an a$$hole now and act like you are surprised! I hate people... especially cheap people.
I prefer to think frugal person. Prom and weddings are extremely expensive useless functions. If you are rich enuf that you don't notice WASTING a grand or even $500 on a basically useless expenditure which will have nothing to show for it the next day except perhaps a hangover and a payment due bill, then great. But some of us have other priorities of more lasting value for our hard earned money.
I didn't go to prom - it wasn't even on my radar. I was raised by parents who lived their childhood thru the Great Depression and fiscal responsibility was made part of my being. Then in the '70s I learned that by living frugally I could afford to travel - also frugally, so I have seen a lot of the world, something that has real value to me.
So, I too would balk at financing someone elses useless moment like a prom or a Medieval wedding. My daughter had neither - we helped her with some bills that come from living on your own. Today she is struggling in this economy - but she knows how to live frugally.
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- Post n°17
Re: How to raise decent children in todays world.
by Alan Smithee Fri Jun 29, 2012 8:17 am
Shale wrote:
Well, I have to side with the guy here (hope you don't hate me for being a cheap person)
If you are rich enuf that you don't notice WASTING a grand or even $500 on a basically useless expenditure which will have nothing to show for it the next day except perhaps a hangover and a payment due bill...
...and sometimes a grandchild
Shale- ...is a Chamber Royal.
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OH, grandsons get a pass.Alan Smithee wrote:...and sometimes a grandchild
I did chip in for some of my grandson's wedding expenses but he, his wife and her family paid for most of it. It was also not that extravagant as weddings go. I did not get a wedding gift because I had already paid for some equipment for his business.
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- Post n°19
Re: How to raise decent children in todays world.
by Alan Smithee Fri Jun 29, 2012 10:04 am
Um, LOL, I guess I failed to make my meaning clear. I meant sometimes all you will have to show for forking out big bucks for your kid to go to Prom (besides their hangover) is a grandchild.
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Alan Smithee wrote:Um, LOL, I guess I failed to make my meaning clear. I meant sometimes all you will have to show for forking out big bucks for your kid to go to Prom (besides their hangover) is a grandchild.
OH! Well, we didn't fork out any bucks for the daughter's prom and still got the grandchildren.
Hmm, maybe if they went to the prom instead of spending the nite in their first apartment that we subsidized...
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Shale wrote:
OH! Well, we didn't fork out any bucks for the daughter's prom and still got the grandchildren.
Hmm, maybe if they went to the prom instead of spending the nite in their first apartment that we subsidized...
Prom is highly overrated and a lot of people who do go later say it wasn't that great anyway, so why go broke in one night for an unmemorable evening? That's the part that I never got, what makes it any different from any other high school dance? Oh the big tradition of after prom of going to orgies in hotels, but do we believe that's not going on BEFORE the prom anyway?
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