Do you think less of "stay-at-home" parents once their kids enter their teens?

I have to be totally honest, I do.

I understand teens need supervision and part of working from home for me is that I am present for my son. However, I just can't wrap my mind around someone having a teen and opting to still not try to find, at minimum, a part time gig or volunteer, if money is no object.

I have to ask why? What someone does in their life has nothing to do with yours. I mean, you're not paying their bills, if they decide to stay home it's on them.

As long as they were still working inside the home (i.e. being a true homemaker) and not just acting like Peg Bundy then...

No, I don't. Taking care of the home is itself a full-time job.

I can't really speak for anyone other than myself--what people choose to do with their own lives is their business. Personally, I've been lucky that I work in a field where it's a 24/7 job and I can tweak my hours to fit what needs to be done at home. I don't think I could ever not work, just for the boredom factor and I need to keep my mind active. Teens need to know you're there when they need you, but don't want you in their faces all the time, so however it works out for you, then whatever.

I do have a problem, though, with people milking welfare and other public assistance, to stay home, pop out more kids, and basically be a slug so they don't have to work. Choosing not to work if you can still afford not to, is different--at least there is or was an income at one point, most likely not based on sucking off the rest of us who do work.

Hyacinth Girl wrote:

I do have a problem, though, with people milking welfare and other public assistance, to stay home, pop out more kids, and basically be a slug so they don't have to work. Choosing not to work if you can still afford not to, is different--at least there is or was an income at one point, most likely not based on sucking off the rest of us who do work.

Yeah, I agree. I have a problem with that also, but those that can actually afford to do so, I say more power to them.

If they can afford to, then whatever.

Fortunately when our kids were at home I was able to stay at home, we had 3 teenagers at one time and believe me they required as much watching as they did when they were 2 year olds.

I think once the kids enter their teens, you cease to being a "stay-at-home" parent...and are now simply a house wife/husband....or unemployed. Yeah, I kind of do think less of them. The whole argument behind stay-at-home parents is to be more hands-on during their formative years. By the time they're in high school, they're past the stage of needing someone there to rear them full time. So what are you doing? They don't need you there to make sure they don't use the stove or let in a stranger. Might as well go back to work.

I'm surprised so many of you feel that moms aren't needed as the kids become teenagers. Do any of you actually have any teenagers? Certainly they would be offended if one hired a baby sitter for them , but believe me the teens need almost constant supervision. They are continually pushing the boundaries, as I guess teens are supposed to do. They don't make it easy for the parents I can tell you. No one had to fear my teenagers , but I can tell you I despise teens today and fear them mainly because for the most part they have no parents at home to know what they are doing while they terrorize the neighbors. The sitters and their peer group are doing a lousy job raising the kids while both parents have to work . Never never cross a teenager that much I can tell you! When I was young kids never behaved that way mainly because there was always a parent at home.

My sister has never worked and has 3 boys. She was the only mother who did not work out of not only all of their friends, but also in their neighborhood. All of the kids would come to her house when they were scared, or got locked out of their homes. When they wanted hot meals and their own parents were too busy working, they showed up.

Her kids are now 21-25 and it is really no different. She is still washing clothes from morning til night, making meals, packing lunches for the men to go off to work... now she watches the one's baby daughter. She does all of the yard work, shopping, and cleaning the house. You really think a teenager is going to scrub a kitchen floor or a tub? It worse when they work cause then the kids give her the "I'm tired, I laid carpet all day" or "I've got a history paper to write and was in class for 6 hours, before i have to go to my night job". so it never gets easier.

I totally respect her. And honestly, it kinda annoys me that women fought soooo hard for equal rights and the CHOICE to work or not--but now the choice is taken away and we HAVE to work. Kinda strange huh?

I don't think any less of them, but I don't tend to think of "teenager" when I hear the phrase "stay at home mom." When the kids get to be old enough to handle being home alone for an extended period of time, I think you're now simply a "home maker".

Not at all; but I do wonder what their motivation is for it at that point. There is a monumental difference between caring for your two year old and caring for your fifteen year old.

Suzi wrote:I'm surprised so many of you feel that moms aren't needed as the kids become teenagers. Do any of you actually have any teenagers? Certainly they would be offended if one hired a baby sitter for them , but believe me the teens need almost constant supervision. They are continually pushing the boundaries, as I guess teens are supposed to do. They don't make it easy for the parents I can tell you. No one had to fear my teenagers , but I can tell you I despise teens today and fear them mainly because for the most part they have no parents at home to know what they are doing while they terrorize the neighbors. The sitters and their peer group are doing a lousy job raising the kids while both parents have to work . Never never cross a teenager that much I can tell you! When I was young kids never behaved that way mainly because there was always a parent at home.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think kids are not in need of as much hands on in their teens. A great quote I read when my son was 8 or 9 was, "Just when you think they need you less, they need you more." I agree with that. But I am talking about the nuts and bolts of maintaining a house. When a teen is in school and a stay at home parent has days free, they should, at minimum, volunteer. When a kid is 13+, he cleans up after himself after a meal, keeps his room in order and toys and educational materials are not scattered about the house. If I quit working tomorrow, I would not have to work in this home much to keep it maintained. I would have several hours per week to do something outside my hobbies and my family's needs.

Even really wealthy families I know with a parent not working are at minimum passionate about something. Even if it is a hobby, they pay it forward by volunteering in conjunction with that hobby. Like my friend Pam. She doesn't have to work. Her kids are now 13 and 18. The family is huge into water sports. So Pam does functions for underprivileged kids to go to some camp for jet skiing and tubing behind a boat in summer at their cabin. Then in Winter, she organizes fund raisers for kids to get swimming lessons paid for.

A friend from high school is a total trust fund kid. She has never worked a day in her life. Her life is a mess because she surrounds herself with losers who want that easy, pointless life. She has three siblings who all went to college and have jobs. Even though they don't have to.