How much control should a parent have over their child's hairstyle?

Say your twelve year old son or daughter wanted to make an extreme hairstyle change (your son wanted long hair, your daughter wanted it short, they wanted to dye it another color, a mohawk, etc., etc.) would you allow it? How old were you when you started making your own hair decisions?

I admire parents who let their kids express their individual style.

I was a conformist in my teen years and actually gave little thot to style, dressing in khaki pants and plaid shirts like all the other nerds. I had a crew cut or flat top as my stepfather cut mine and my stepbrother's hair in the basement. Everyone had crew cuts except for the JD types with their DA cut.

A reasonable level of control. I believe kids need some room for expression through hairstyle but I do think there needs to be some limits.

I think it's something that kids need to gradually ease into. Most little girls start maintaining their own hair at around age 8 or 9. After a few years of that, they can start making decisions about how they want it to look. My parents weren't sticklers with that, by the time I was about 12, I was basically deciding how I wanted it to look. If I wanted it cut or if I wanted it to grow out, or if I wanted it styled a certain way, then that was my call; so long as I didn't do anything too extreme.

12 is about the age I would let them go to some extremes in their burgeoning spirit of individualism. I would also take many pictures for future display to my grandchildren.

Alan Smithee wrote:12 is about the age I would let them go to some extremes in their burgeoning spirit of individualism. I would also take many pictures for future display to my grandchildren.

This.

Things would've been a WHOLE lot easier for me if I'd been able to decide what I wanted done with my hair, then I wouldn't have had to endure hour long detangling and half hour long braiding sessions every single day just to keep it tolerable.

It would depend. They can make their own hair choices from about 10....as long as it was reasonable. My mother let me get a perm when I was about 9.....although I wish she didn't.

Hair was never a point of contention, I didn't care what they did to their hair, no matter how outlandish the hair grows and can change in a heartbeat.

One town we lived in there was a really good kid with the most peculiar hair do I ever saw. One day he walked by the shop where I worked and a co-worker said she would throw him out of the house if he was her kid. I reminded her that he was a really good kid and "besides the hair could change tomorrow". The very next day he walked by (I didn't notice) but the co-worker came running to my side of the shops, she thought I was a blooming genious the kid had gotten a hair cut and looked perfectly normal.

There should be limits for really extreme things, such as color. My son wanted blue streaks in his hair and that will not happen in this house. He's over it now after his one buddy that had blue streaks started to have his hair really thin out in the places he was adding vibrant blue to it all the time.

Red, there are worse things than blue hair

Alan Smithee wrote:Red, there are worse things than blue hair

Too true, too true.

Alan Smithee wrote:Red, there are worse things than blue hair

LOL, Al!

One thing I never have to worry about is a mullet with my son. He is a great kid, but totally vain about his hair cuts. (apparently, not so vain/wise about color!) I don't think he would ever go with a bad cut because he has had "Justin Bieber" hair long before Bieber was famous. One day it will be out of style, and I think he will still wear it long and swept to the side.

Depends on what "extreme" is. At that age I would let them choose in general but if it's too extreme, then nope. No mohawks and dyed hair though. Anything else we can talk about.

Come on folks, it is only hair, it can change so quickly. I frowned on multiple piercings and tattoos, because they were permanent. My son got a tattoo when he was 45, I guess by then it was his choice but it was an incredibly dumb tattoo.

Suzi wrote:Come on folks, it is only hair, it can change so quickly. I frowned on multiple piercings and tattoos, because they were permanent. My son got a tattoo when he was 45, I guess by then it was his choice but it was an incredibly dumb tattoo.

Yeah really, my mom freaked out when I was 9 and tried giving myself a haircut to get rid of some split ends and took off 4 inches. But it DID grow back and SHE was the one freaked out about it and she wasn't even the one who had to wear it, I did and I didn't have a problem with it.

as long as they have me pay for it to get professionally done, rather than using a bunch of chemicals that make it fall out... i would be fine with it.

I'm from the 80s when we had mohawks, pink hair gels, and used soooo much hairspray that we punched a hole in the ozone layer lol

The cutting ok but the dying nope.