I can wrap my mind around not wanting to tell a young child that a parent is in the clink. But I think once they reach a certain age, they should be told the truth.

My son's paternal uncle was in prison for a couple years. My son was almost six when he went, and I did not hide that from my son. Though he didn't know exact details of why he was there.

Well, their oldest son is less than a year younger than mine. They have never told this boy, or the younger kids, where he was for that time. They said he went to "a place to help him learn not to drink so much."

Since my son and his cousin are close in age, they are close and I have really drilled into my son's head to never tell his cousin about the truth. The cousin is 12 and his dad has been home for a long while, and he still doesn't know the truth. ((In all honesty, I suspect he might and is just keeping up with what he thinks he should say))

I think it depends on the length of incarceration/conviction and the age of the child. Same for a parent in rehab.

In general, when children are over the age of 7 (the age of reason) then they should be told the truth. However, this should only be done if you consider them (as an individual) to have reached the age of reason (some kids are slow) and only if they actually ask. I wouldn't volunteer the information, but they genuinely seem concerned, then tell them.

When I was 10 my parents had a friend who would come and visit us from time to time. One time after he had left, my mom and my brother were talking about something and I wanted to know what it was and they wouldn't tell me, and I guess I must've made some big deal about they never told me anything because later my mother came up to my room and said 'you want to know the truth? Alright, he's been in prison'. It was the first time I'd ever known anybody who had been in prison so for a minute I didn't know how to respond to that, but I do prefer that she finally told me, just as well because he screwed up and went back to prison a short time later.

Yes.

I think that they should be told as soon as their parents go in. I don't believe in always shielding kids from unpleasant truths. There's a way that it can be explained to them in language that they'll understand.

My dad died when i was three, and my teenage sisters were involved with two boys that they eventually married. We all lived on the same street. When I was in summer camp at 12yrs old, one of my bro in law was arrested for triple murder--- it was all over the front page of the paper. No one told me what happened for a week. I thought he and my sis were fighting. When I got to school, all of the rumors spread so badly, that people thought he was my dad. By the time i was in high school, someone actually asked me if my dad was "that serial murderer". give me a break. That was 26yrs ago last week.. and the guy is still there.

I think kids are better off hearing it from the parents than from rumors in school or elsewhere. Even the truth about my dad being shot was kept from us.. cause we were 3yrs old when it happened. By 12yrs old, my mom told me... and by that time I had already figured something bad happened cause her "He got sick" excuse was never elaborated on. I once asked her "What did he have? I could get it--- he was my dad" lol Im soooo glad i dont have kids

I think I may have been about 12 when my mother volunteered how she ended her marriage to my dad.

He was shagging a woman in our apt bldg and she found out about it and went after him with a knife. He disarmed her but apparently I was down in the yard crying and she told him to let her go take care of HER baby. Strange bit of candor from someone of that generation who usually guarded such secrets.

My dad the cad.

Better to be honest about the situation.