I see both sides to this debate, and I tend to let my son have a break after school before digging into the homework. His dad can't stand this, but he's not here after school, so it's my call! Plus, I am usually still working when my son arrives home after school and can't always help him if he needs it.

Either or. I don't see a problem with either scenario....just as long as they get it done in reasonable time.

Immediately after. I expect my kids to have it done by the time I get home, or at least be well into the thick of it. If I have to come in and tell them to do their homework then it won't be a very good night for them.

Impact wrote:

Immediately after. I expect my kids to have it done by the time I get home, or at least be well into the thick of it. If I have to come in and tell them to do their homework then it won't be a very good night for them.

I tend to lean more towards this side. Granted we never had homework so I didn't have this problem, but as a kid it made sense to me get it done as soon as you get home, and then you have the rest of the afternoon/night to do what you want. It's like when I was a kid, I never got people who waited like an hour after dinner to wash the dishes, just do them right after and the night is free.

Impact wrote:

Immediately after. I expect my kids to have it done by the time I get home, or at least be well into the thick of it. If I have to come in and tell them to do their homework then it won't be a very good night for them.

What's your reason for being so strict with that? Not asking to be a jerk, just curious because Jay feels the same way, but has never told me a reason. I think he just feels like our son may rush through it if he waits until later in the night.

RedBedroom wrote:

What's your reason for being so strict with that? Not asking to be a jerk, just curious because Jay feels the same way, but has never told me a reason. I think he just feels like our son may rush through it if he waits until later in the night.

I think it's just a matter of 'why procrastinate?' because for some kids, putting it off can mean having to scramble to finish it during breakfast the next day, and who needs that? Granted, this is all assuming the kids don't have so much homework that it already takes them until the next day to finish it all, which unfortunately a lot of kids HAVE gotten stuck with on a daily basis, which is just stupid as hell.

RedBedroom wrote:

What's your reason for being so strict with that? Not asking to be a jerk, just curious because Jay feels the same way, but has never told me a reason. I think he just feels like our son may rush through it if he waits until later in the night.

In my situation, my daughters tend to get really comfortable when they come home and start indulging in what they'd rather be doing. If they get too distracted or too laxed, then trying to get them do they're supposed to do becomes a task. What'll happen is that they'll try and do their homework when it gets to be too close to their bedtime and they'll either wind up having to stay up later or not finish it completely.

My attitude is just do it and get it out the way, then the rest of the evening is theirs.

Thanks for the reply, Impact. I totally see that. I guess it should depend on the kid. I think my son does ok with waiting, but maybe when he gets a larger homework load in high school, I will have to change my stance.

Impact wrote:

In my situation, my daughters tend to get really comfortable when they come home and start indulging in what they'd rather be doing. If they get too distracted or too laxed, then trying to get them do they're supposed to do becomes a task. What'll happen is that they'll try and do their homework when it gets to be too close to their bedtime and they'll either wind up having to stay up later or not finish it completely.

My attitude is just do it and get it out the way, then the rest of the evening is theirs.

That's how I see it too. We all know what it's like at the end of a busy day when we plop down to relax and get into that 'can't move' position, so it makes more sense to just get it done in the beginning.

When the weather is nice in the start of the year and at the end of the year, my son probably thrives when he is able to go bike around and burn energy for a while, then focus on homework. I think he would rush through it when the weather is nice.

I think it depends on the kid. But I wouldn't let them go more than an hour or so before getting started on it. Come in, change your clothes, have your snack, do whatever you need to do to unwind for a lil while, then get on it.

I don't recall anyone at home telling me to do homework. It was a contract between me and my teachers whether I did it and my grades were always average to above average so the family was satisfied.

I know I procrastinated and did a lot of my fake it homework in study hall right before class - and it worked. I made an average to above average grade in art class by turning in 3 or 4 excellent sketches of the five required each week.

Damn, if I had parents forcing me to apply myself and do all my homework at home I would probably be real smart and talented today. Oh well!

For me, it depends on their grades. If they are carrying a good to decent average, then I'd be content in knowing that they get their work done, and would allot them leeway to decide when to get started on it. If they're struggling or failing, then I'd be more strict about making sure they did their homework, which would mean less procrastination.

My daughter is carrying a B-average, and her teachers have never made it an issue to talk to us about how unwell she's performing, so I generally don't need to play drill Sargent with her as far as school work goes. Sometimes I will if I see that she's being flagrant about putting it off, but overall she takes care of business and has earned the wiggle room to be trusted to get it done by her own measure.

I honestly don't see the problem with the child taking a break after school. They were just in a classroom for seven hours - the homework is still going to be there in an hour or two. When I was a kid, sometimes I dug right into it to get it over with or sometimes I went outside to play. Either way I got it done.

Chris wrote:

For me, it depends on their grades. If they are carrying a good to decent average, then I'd be content in knowing that they get their work done, and would allot them leeway to decide when to get started on it. If they're struggling or failing, then I'd be more strict about making sure they did their homework, which would mean less procrastination.

My daughter is carrying a B-average, and her teachers have never made it an issue to talk to us about how unwell she's performing, so I generally don't need to play drill Sargent with her as far as school work goes. Sometimes I will if I see that she's being flagrant about putting it off, but overall she takes care of business and has earned the wiggle room to be trusted to get it done by her own measure.

Agreed. If his or her grades are well maintained, then a parent can be a little easier when it comes to micromanaging homework time.

It depends on the kid and amount of work they have but I think it's best to get it out of the way before the thousands of other distractions show up. And you need to check their work, not just ask, "Did you do your homework?"

Chris wrote:

For me, it depends on their grades. If they are carrying a good to decent average, then I'd be content in knowing that they get their work done, and would allot them leeway to decide when to get started on it. If they're struggling or failing, then I'd be more strict about making sure they did their homework, which would mean less procrastination.

My daughter is carrying a B-average, and her teachers have never made it an issue to talk to us about how unwell she's performing, so I generally don't need to play drill Sargent with her as far as school work goes. Sometimes I will if I see that she's being flagrant about putting it off, but overall she takes care of business and has earned the wiggle room to be trusted to get it done by her own measure.

Chris, Just something I have thought of saying before, but really feel compelled to now...I think it is awesome you are so in tune with your daughter's life. You seem so in touch with her day-to-day. I find that so awesome. Jay is an amazing father to our son...but I will be the first to admit he falls so short with his daughter from his first marriage. Granted, she's older now, but it's always been that way. (Well, it's been that way since her mom got remarried) She and I are much closer than she and Jay and that makes me very sad. So, when I see a dad like you with a child from a previous marriage who you are in tune with, it makes me so happy and excited for you both!