What's with these people? Why can't they just come out and say 'I don't want to have kids'? No, they can't do that, they've got to go through a whole long list of what's wrong with the world today that that's why they can't have any.

Exactly what world have these people been living on? The world has never been in a good condition to have kids. There's always been war, famine, disease, natural disasters...there was this one woman standup comedian who had a joke on this, she said 'do you think the pioneers thought it was a good time for kids? 'Kids? Hmmmm, no, we're living in a covered wagon, the Indians have been on our ass for the last 10 miles, and you have a dead squirrel on your head'. If anything I'd think today would be the best time to have kids because today we have medicine, good food, water fit for drinking, electricity, indoor plumbing, etc.

What's everybody else's take on this?

Any reason is justifiable for not having children. Not everyone LIKES children. Who says you have to have 'em?

Please point out where I said these people should have them regardless of their reasons. In fact I said they should just come out and SAY they don't want kids isntead of using excuses like global warming and pollution or whatever they use to say 'that's why I'm not having kids'.

There's nothing wrong with flat out admitting you don't want kids, a lot of people don't, there's no need to go making up reasons to try and justify it.

That part about the comedian is really funny!

Here's my two cents on the topic. It should not bother anyone one way or another on what reasons they give or don't give. My assumption is that many of the people who have decided they don't want children have tried at times to simply say, "I don't want kids." But people in conversation don't want to hear that because "everyone is supposed to want children."

My "husband" and I are not married. Never will be. And the older I get the more and more people are stunned by our decision and can be downright rude about it. It is more often than not very awkward to be asked to explain why I made this choice. I can imagine that it is much worse for people who have to fess up to not wanting children.

Supernova wrote:

What's with these people? Why can't they just come out and say 'I don't want to have kids'? No, they can't do that, they've got to go through a whole long list of what's wrong with the world today that that's why they can't have any.

Exactly what world have these people been living on? The world has never been in a good condition to have kids. There's always been war, famine, disease, natural disasters...there was this one woman standup comedian who had a joke on this, she said 'do you think the pioneers thought it was a good time for kids? 'Kids? Hmmmm, no, we're living in a covered wagon, the Indians have been on our ass for the last 10 miles, and you have a dead squirrel on your head'. If anything I'd think today would be the best time to have kids because today we have medicine, good food, water fit for drinking, electricity, indoor plumbing, etc.

What's everybody else's take on this?

I agree. Just say "I don't wanna have kids, because I'm not interested in being a parent." Anyone who sincerely (although I think most people who say this are full of BS) refuses to have children because of how fucked up the world is, IMO, a flake. That's like Brad and Angelina claiming that the reason they refuse to get married is because gay people can't. As if. You just don't wanna get married.

I agree, just say "I don't want to have kids." Just be honest about it. Not everyone wants to be a parent. I certainly don't.

The reasons people give are lame and stupid. If you just don't want kids, be honest about it. And yes, you have a right to give as lame a reason you want to justify not having kids, but if your reason is stupid, people will point how how stupid it is. And using the state of the world to justify not having kids, it's a stupid reason.

The next time someone says the world is too corrupt to bring another child into it, remind them that the world has always been a degenerate place and ask if they would have preferred that their parents aborted them.

Exactly. Was the world in so great a condition for kids when the Black Plague was running rampant? What about when the Pilgrims first came to America and about 1/3 of them died from cold and lack of food? How about the Holocaust? Or the post WWII world where everybody was traumatized by fear of being bombed and living in complete paranoia? Then you have the 60s and 70s when there were serial killers running around and the Vietnam War and the campus riots? Exactly WHEN was the world supposed to have been in a GOOD condition for having children for any reason other than to keep the human race from dying out?

But really, are we giving ample consideration to those who really do feel like this is not a world they want to see a newborn start in? I don't think it is all that far fetched. And even if it is, let them say it, it makes no never-mind to the rest of us.

Well then what must such people think of those who DO have kids today? Personally I'd find that insulting, like 'oh I'm so much smarter than you because I didn't bring any kids into this and you did'. You know, if you say the world's in too bad a shape to have kids, you can't have it both ways, you can't say it's in too bad a shape for YOU to have kids but for somebody else, yeah they can do fine with the drugs and pollution and crime and wars, for them it's fine but you're above that?

RedBedroom wrote:

But really, are we giving ample consideration to those who really do feel like this is not a world they want to see a newborn start in? I don't think it is all that far fetched. And even if it is, let them say it, it makes no never-mind to the rest of us.

I agree with what Supernova said. If you're going to go around with a high and mighty attitude of not having kids because of the state of the world, you're inviting people to at least question your reasons. If people really do feel like this, I think it's really just a mask for a different reason. As Supernova said, today would probably be among the best times to have kids due to modern technology. So the argument that the world is no longer a place to bring children into seems like a dumb cover for more personal reasons to me.

The decision to have kids is deeply personal so I think ANY reason someone has to NOT have them is sufficient enough, no matter how silly it may sound. They could say that it's because there are only 7 days in a week and to raise kids we need at least 10. Their reasons are theirs.

^^^^Again, nobody is saying that they can't choose their own reason. But if you have a dumb reason, people will call you on it. It's like if you refuse to eat green veggies because you fear they will turn your skin green, you have a right to your reason but it's still a ridiculous reason that people will call you on. If your reason for not doing something is some dumb irrational thing, people will call it what it is.

RobbieFTW wrote:

The decision to have kids is deeply personal so I think ANY reason someone has to NOT have them is sufficient enough, no matter how silly it may sound. They could say that it's because there are only 7 days in a week and to raise kids we need at least 10. Their reasons are theirs.

I agree & that may be the actual reason for some people. Who knows? They don't owe anyone an explanation in the first place.

^^^^But when they volunteer one, they open it up to critique.

Forgiveness_Man wrote:

^^^^But when they volunteer one, they open it up to critique.

Well there's no doubt a lot of people have opinions that many consider to be stupid. Most definitely.

But when someone says 'the world is too much of a hellhole to have children these days', what does their reason for not having say about the people who do? That's a two way statement, because if you're doing the 'right' thing for the world by not having kids, then everybody who did have kids must be an awful person for subjecting their kids to the planet they're on, mustn't they?

^^^^People who choose to have kids aren't one of those protected groups who have a right to not be insulted or offended.

Any reason is a good reason not to have a fuck trophy.

^^^^That's simply not true. Reasons can be dumb, and the OP's example is an accurate example of a dumb reason.

Exactly, what point IS there in feeling a need to MAKE UP a non-existent reason when you have a perfectly good reason already, that you just don't want to? This isn't the 50s where if you don't want a family there's something wrong with you, today people encourage having a career and a life of your own.