If you want kids, do you actually see yourself ever being ready to have them? Of course I know if people waited until they were ready, there wouldn't be any kids, but unfortunately I just don't see it happening, I can't see myself ever reaching a point where I'm ready to first of all give up caffeine for 9 months and endure 3 months of puking my guts up, and then get up at 3 o' clock every morning until the babies are 3 years old and finally sleeping, and to spend the next 18 years being responsible for another human life.

yea...all that you describe is pure selflessness. I always thought i would have a huge family and my best friend and i made a pact to have them at 25. by then i said no way.. lets wait til 30. by 30 i was single again... and wasnt getting pregnant to land a man, or with just anyone. I spent my late 20s early 30s traveling and doing/buying all of the things i wanted in life. I would make an excellent mother... have dated men with children, who i loved as my own.... and grew up with 3 nephews that were more mine than not.... coached the hockey teams, went to karate tournaments, baseball games. i was a room mother... i did all of the fun stuff... and very little of the hard stuff... so i sorta had the best of the kids! LOL

every once in awhile... i think about it.. i feel that i should be raising a child at home, rather than slaving at a job i hate pushing shit around that customers never appreciate and just bitch about anyway. chris tells me he wants us to have one.... but nowi feel too old.


its not for everyone. and the world is a really scary place. with shootings seeming like they occur monthly, drugs, murders, perverts... the likelihood that college tuition will be so high that a good education is not within reach... it almost seems selfish to me to have a baby now.

^^I too have been a surrogate parent by employment or circumstance, but have never had any desire to raise a baby.

I took care of babies and toddlers for a living doing respite care for physically or intellectually disabled children. (Up to two years of age a baby with Down syndrome is no diff than any other). Worked with kids with cerebral palsy and pre teens with various psych/behavior problems. Also worked with teenagers, which are all disturbed anyhow, so not much different than normal.

I inherited a stepdaughter when she was 13 and got two grandsons by her, one of which I travelled extensively with when he was a teen. So, I didn't miss out on any child raising experience, just didn't immerse myself in it.

Supernova wrote:

If you want kids, do you actually see yourself ever being ready to have them? Of course I know if people waited until they were ready, there wouldn't be any kids, but unfortunately I just don't see it happening, I can't see myself ever reaching a point where I'm ready to first of all give up caffeine for 9 months and endure 3 months of puking my guts up, and then get up at 3 o' clock every morning until the babies are 3 years old and finally sleeping, and to spend the next 18 years being responsible for another human life.

Well when you put it like THAT, hell no I'll never be ready LOL

I won't be ready until my feet are in the stirrups and the doctor tells me to push.

Supernova wrote:

If you want kids, do you actually see yourself ever being ready to have them? Of course I know if people waited until they were ready, there wouldn't be any kids, but unfortunately I just don't see it happening, I can't see myself ever reaching a point where I'm ready to first of all give up caffeine for 9 months and endure 3 months of puking my guts up, and then get up at 3 o' clock every morning until the babies are 3 years old and finally sleeping, and to spend the next 18 years being responsible for another human life.

Even though I am a mom, I feel compelled to comment on this one. You won't necessarily have morning sickness and if you are a good mom, which I think you would be, you won't have to get up with the kid through age three. Giving up caffeine for pregnancy is no biggie. You can even "treat" yourself every once in a while with caffeine. I know some will disagree with me, but I did have a few sodas during my pregnancy. Back then, I loved soda. So I had two on New Years Eve and a couple "just because."

The whole "18 years of responsibility" is a kicker...I don't like how much I worry about my son. I worry all the time. But I know that won't stop when he is 18 as I worry about my step daughter and he is almost 24.

agree with red on that one... its a lifetime commitment. and when they are 30 they are now moving back in cause of the economy... who wants that?

i did have a dream once where chris and i had two kids... was great, but was still a dream LOL

Supernova wrote:

If you want kids,

I don't

I would have liked to have a Son to raise and watch grow up. The getting up early in the am and everything else that comes with that responsibility would be worth it as I watched him grow up into a fine young man. I would have been good pals with a Son too.

I would like to have kids but the older I get, the more I have to face the reality that it might not happen. I don't want kids after 40 and I just turned 36, so if it doesn't happen in the next few years then I might have to let it go. It's sometimes sad seeing friends my age with kids who're almost grown, but what can you do?