To those with kiddos, what are the ages?

I am curious who has kids and who does not.

I have one son, age 11.

I have a step child, age, 21.

My twins are turned 10 in April.

cool,

My daughter will be thirteen in November.

Chris wrote:My daughter will be thirteen in November.

UH OH!!!! Teenage alert!!! Get your shot gun ready Chris, lol.

And prepare for the out of control hormones. Got gray hair now? It's going to be white in 7 years, lol.

Nystyle709 wrote:

UH OH!!!! Teenage alert!!! Get your shot gun ready Chris, lol.

And prepare for the out of control hormones. Got gray hair now? It's going to be white in 7 years, lol.

And how many kids do you have?

Supernova wrote:


And how many kids do you have?

Nystyle is childless. She don't do the babies.

Nystyle709 wrote:

Chris wrote:My daughter will be thirteen in November.

UH OH!!!! Teenage alert!!! Get your shot gun ready Chris, lol.

And prepare for the out of control hormones. Got gray hair now? It's going to be white in 7 years, lol.

Who you telling? For the last year I have been hearing about who in her class, or around the block (that part I really don't much care for), she think is cute. Not to mention her odd crushes on Lil Wayne and Drake.

But to quote Bernie Mac on child rearing in Kings of Comedy:
"They ain't gonna kill me, Im'ma kill them!"

Chris wrote:

Who you telling? For the last year I have been hearing about who in her class, or around the block (that part I really don't much care for), she think is cute. Not to mention her odd crushes on Lil Wayne and Drake.

But to quote Bernie Mac on child rearing in Kings of Comedy:
"They ain't gonna kill me, Im'ma kill them!"

. For real. I miss Bernie. But ya know....she won't be a teenager until you officially tell her that she is. I don't know where that came about but I know when I turned 13...my dad told me "okay, you're officially a teenager now". I asked him where he got that from and he said it was a tradition. Prob. just some old Southern folklore/superstition or some shit but the father has to crown the daughter a teen. (Kanye shrug)

Hey Chris - have you seen that application to date my teenager daughter? Might be something to consider.


APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage,
and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES____________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
______________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain
______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________


ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________


REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

______________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

______________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)


_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and
non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do
not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would
cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be
notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.

2 girls (9 & 5) and 1 boy (20 months)