captainbryce wrote:

Is it realistic? No. Kids are going to have sex whatever the parents "demands" are. When was the last time most kids obeyed their parents on the issue of sex? Probably NEVER!

You'd be surprised. My family has at least three generations of people who waited until they were adults and married to do it.

When I was a kid, my mother told me 'you get married first and then you have kids', so I was not going to be doing something stupid as a teenager because I was not going to have to answer to them for coming up pregnant at 13 or whatever. I was raised to know better and I've spent my whole life knowing better, it's not impossible, it's only impossible if you've spent your whole life with only the logic of 'I want it now so I'm getting it NOW'.

Forgiveness_Man wrote:

They can. If the kid has a problem with it, he can fight to be emancipated.

They can't. A parent can't make a kid who is legally able to consent that they HAVE to keep their virginity. Hell, realistically they can't even do it to a kid who isn't old enough to consent. They can make all kinds of threats and demands, but ultimately it's up to the kid to decide if he's gonna comply with THAT. If he doesn't, then he doesn't. What exactly can a parent gonna do if their kid decides to lose their virginity, have them fitted for a chastity belt?

Some of the biggest freaks I've known were females who came from uppity, "boys-will-do-anything-to-get-in-your-pants-so-you-better-be-in-this-house-by-4" parents.

Making demands like that will more likely accomplish the opposite effect. My first girlfriend had a mother who distrusted all things secular and was hostile at me because she was so sure all I had on my mind was breaking her daughters hyman. Girl knew how to play good on the surface, but as soon as she was away from her moms was ready to play bad.

If you teach your kids to respect themselves, to value their bodies and to make wise life choices (without automatically assuming the worst about everyone else around them) then chances are they will remain a untouched for a little while longer. Tell them "you better not do that BECAUSE I said so". Guess what? They will.

Marc wrote:

They can't. A parent can't make a kid who is legally able to consent that they HAVE to keep their virginity. Hell, realistically they can't even do it to a kid who isn't old enough to consent. They can make all kinds of threats and demands, but ultimately it's up to the kid to decide if he's gonna comply with THAT. If he doesn't, then he doesn't. What exactly can a parent gonna do if their kid decides to lose their virginity, have them fitted for a chastity belt?

That same argument can be applied to drugs. Sorry, it's an excuse to justify half-ass parenting. "Oh, what are you going to do to stop them?" Plenty of reasonable efforts. People just don't wanna admit that children can't just do whatever they want when they are living under their parents' guardianship. If they want freedom, they should go out on their own and get it. (But it comes with a price, responsibility) That's just how it works.

The argument that kids will decide what they are going to do sounds like the crap teens use to try to get their way against their parents. It's parental laziness, or just parental incompetence. People've forgotten how to be a parent and seem to want to let their kid call the shots.

I wouldn't do it because I want to keep the lines of communication open, and I don't want him to make bad choices because he can't talk to us.

But, I can understand why some parents would demand abstinence until 18. We all know how easy it would be for the kids to still do it anyway, but sometimes the fear aspect is a good one to keep kids from doing wrong things.