People say the darnedest things.....what are your gems?

What have you heard or read online that left you rolling your eyes?

Some of mine:

A friend thinking she is cursed because it always rains harder once she takes the exit onto the highway. Think about speed and rain.

A chick from my home town who posted on Facebook, "Does anyone know the zip code for Milwaukee?" I replied, "There is more than one." She says, "I only need one."


What gems have you heard or read?

Oh I think I've gone through more than my fair share. One I remember, and several people came to the defense of the moron who said this one, that sports have SOOOOO much creativity and originality in them and that they are soooooooo expressive (even though they all have play books telling them every exact move they are able to make and you can't even breathe wrong or you get flagged 5 yards) and all art is exactly the same, there is nothing special about any of it, that the Mona Lisa is no different than the Venus de Milo or Salvador Dali's Persistence of Memory, though those are my own examples because apparently whoever said it doesn't know enough about art to list any of its pieces.

Years ago when I was working at a retail bookstore, some man who I'd never laid eyes on before comes in and asks me if I'd seen his son.

My daughter and I gave one of her friends a ride home and when she got out of the car she says, "It smells like trees." And no, I know she wasn't high and there weren't any evergreens in the area.

Might have been the same girl but my daughter told me one of her friends finally realized the lyric in Elton John’s Tiny Dancer was “hold me closer tiny dancer”, not “hold me closer Tony Danza.”

Might have been the same girl but my daughter told me one of her friends finally realized the lyric in Elton John’s Tiny Dancer was “hold me closer tiny dancer”, not “hold me closer Tony Danza.”

That is too funny!

A friend of mine's grandmother was ragging on him about his driving and he told her something like, "Yeah, well you drive so slow you've got dead bugs on your rear window."

I had some funny lines as a kid. My mom has all the good lines now. I think my dad's favorite line from me was after I "cut my first record."