There's the thread asking about if you have ever been in one, but here I'm asking if when you see someone dating outside their race if you make snap judgments about them?

Stereotype #1: "White woman dates black guy to rebel against her family, and to see if the penis thing is true."
Stereotype #2: "Black man dates white woman because he wants a trophy or isn't strong enough to tolerate a black woman's attitude."

Oddly enough I don't see too many blanket statements about white men/black women pairing, but at the same time, those don't seem as prevalent.

A friend of mine who is a white guy once said that white people tend to look at white women who date black men as basically trash. He wasn't saying that it was how HE perceived it, but that this was how he observed other white people's reactions to it. Being black, I have seen the eye rolls and cynicism that some in the black community have for black people who date outside their race.

I'm not trying to make any blanket generalizations. I know that plenty of people couldn't give a shit about who someone else is dating. I'm just wondering if you ever make any snap judgments about people in interracial relationships AND if you ever knew someone in one who actually FIT the stereotype.

I think the stereotype judgment of black women who go with white men is that they consider themselves too good for black men. And if you watch the movie For Colored Girls, you might tend to agree - almost all the black men portrayed there had flaws.

Oh, and that penis myth - Well, I satisfied a black woman for 20 years.

(sorry girls, I'm retired)

^^^oh damn

But yeah, definite myth.

Sometimes but see the thing is, maybe the people in the IR just AREN'T attracted to their own race and maybe they DO have a race fetish for whatever their lover is. So what? I may make assumptions but it's no big deal because in the end it doesn't matter why this one is what that one. Their reasons are nobody else's business but their own.

No I dont judge.

No - I don't make snap judgments. The fact that they are together for any reason other than that they love each other doesn't cross my mind.

TSJFan4Ever wrote:

No - I don't make snap judgments. The fact that they are together for any reason other than that they love each other doesn't cross my mind.

No I don't make snap judgments at all I feel what is the difference what color you are as long as you are happy and that person fulfills your physical and emotional needs.

JB wrote:

There's the thread asking about if you have ever been in one, but here I'm asking if when you see someone dating outside their race if you make snap judgments about them?

Stereotype #1: "White woman dates black guy to rebel against her family, and to see if the penis thing is true."
Stereotype #2: "Black man dates white woman because he wants a trophy or isn't strong enough to tolerate a black woman's attitude."

Oddly enough I don't see too many blanket statements about white men/black women pairing, but at the same time, those don't seem as prevalent.

A friend of mine who is a white guy once said that white people tend to look at white women who date black men as basically trash. He wasn't saying that it was how HE perceived it, but that this was how he observed other white people's reactions to it. Being black, I have seen the eye rolls and cynicism that some in the black community have for black people who date outside their race.

I'm not trying to make any blanket generalizations. I know that plenty of people couldn't give a shit about who someone else is dating. I'm just wondering if you ever make any snap judgments about people in interracial relationships AND if you ever knew someone in one who actually FIT the stereotype.

I don't make any snap judgment based on what you said above, but whenever I see an Asian woman who doesn't speak with an accent, I automatically assume she's dating a white guy. And for the life of me I haven't been wrong yet. As a matter of fact I can almost tell by the way she is dressed.

Forgiveness_Man wrote:

No I dont judge.

Everyone judges.

Ghost1P wrote:

Everyone judges.

Generally speaking, yes. In the context of the question, no.

Forgiveness_Man wrote:

Generally speaking, yes. In the context of the question, no.

got it....

context...good point.

No, but I do have to say that I have known people who were in a interracial relationship, and it seemed par for the course with their personality type. In other words, I wasn't surprised.

This is somewhat of a touchy subject for me, because I am the product of an interracial marriage. And while, sure, there are people who do use interracial relationships to distance themselves from their racial/ethnic community, not everyone in one can be painted with that brush – but just about everyone who is will at some point be stigmatized for it. My dad was briefly married to a black woman before he married my mom, kept all of his ties to his family and old friends/associates from the black neighborhood he grew up in, and used to joke about divorcing my mom to marry Toni Braxton. An 'Uncle Tom,' he isn't. So no, I don't make snap judgments about people in an interracial relationship. I will, though, agree with Ritediva that sometimes interracial relationships do put certain personality 'types' into perspective, but that's another thread.

Assumptions are stupid. Once a black woman asked high yellow me if I was attracted to brown-skinned sistas. Duh?! That really kinda bugged me; that she would question if I was attracted to black women in general. Of course. Most of the women I've dated were black, and most of them were darker than me. Come on now.

Chris wrote:

...Once a black woman asked high yellow me if I was attracted to brown-skinned sistas. Duh?! That really kinda bugged me; that she would question if I was attracted to black women in general. Of course. Most of the women I've dated were black, and most of them were darker than me. Come on now.

Just like Prez Obama.

It kinda bugs me all this euphoria over our first "black" president. Not just bugs me that he is as much white as he is black, but that ppl who see him as only black are thinking in terms of the Jim Crow era and the "one-drop-rule."

In the early '60s Obama was black by definition in all the southern states, as would Chris have been if he were around. Ppl even lighter than me were classed as black back then if they had any black ancestry. Which is why those who passed moved out of town and went to a big city up north and became white.

I remember once walking with my wife on Miami Beach and an interracial couple were walking toward us. When they passed we heard them speaking Spanish. I asked Brenda if she thot Hispanics count as interracial couples.

Really, I know an obviously black Cubano who's married to a tan Rican. I don't think she considers herself black, but as with most Caramelo Ricans, you know it's there. So, we have lots of self-identity issues in determining who is actually "black." People seeing them together don't even think in terms of interracial couple.

I don't ever make snap judgements about them. They love who they love, and even if they are paired for superficial reasons, such as pissing off the family, there is an equal amount of that in same race couples!

I have, but the older I get, the less I care. Whether it's a genuine attraction/bond, or a superficial hankering for chocolate or vanilla, really it affects no one but them, so why should anyone else worry about it?

Nystyle709 wrote:

. And it's unfortunate that a lot of the interracial couples that I've known that have had issues with that, it was always the black person in that relationship who did. Be it a man or a woman.

Ditto. I had a very uppity black supervisor once....who for some reason didn't too much care for me or any of the other black employees there. But got along great with the other white managers and didn't seem to butt too many heads with the other (white) employees half as much. One day he brought his very lightskinned, long haired daughter to work. It all made sense at that point.

No I'm not making any snap judgments about people in IR, but like Ritediva said....in that instance, it wasn't a shock.