(Saw this on an episode of L&O SVU once)

A man discovers he fathered a boy who was adopted into a loving family. He was never informed of his being this childs father but finds out the truth when the boy is 12/13 years old. In the episode, they went to court and the court sided with him. This 12/13 year old boy who lived his whole life with his loving adoptive parents had to leave them because his natural father won custody. The boy wanted to stay with his adoptive parents but had to leave them by court order.

IRL who would you side with? And men, if that were you with a child you just found out about but who had been adopted into a loving family, would you sue for custody or let him stay with them?

If I found out I had a child that was under six, I would seek full custody. But at 12 or 13, I would try and work out a joint arrangement with the adoptive family.

This is why I am against ONS and the like.

I think I'd have been in the middle. The father deserves a relationship with the son but taking full custody isn't the way to do it.

At that age I would probably leave him with his adoptive parents if he is being well taken care of and if he is happy but I would want a relationship with him as well.

I would leave him with his adoptive family and just work out a visitation agreement.

Leave him with his adoptive family and ask for visitation. What the father did shows that his own needs were more important than those of the child.

TSJFan4Ever wrote:

Leave him with his adoptive family and ask for visitation. What the father did shows that his own needs were more important than those of the child.

IA. I saw that episode of SVU and was annoyed by it. To me it was ludicrous that a boy as old as he was, and who knew where he wanted to be, would be mandated to leave his adoptive parents. What bothered me most was that his father showed very consideration for the child's wishes and didn't even try to work something out so that everyone would be satisfied. It isn't like a toddler, if you pluck a child that age away from his family he will only be resentful.

I'd seek to have all of my paternal rights to him reinstated and then let him stay where he was most comfortable. Per my not taking him from his adoptive parents, I would remind them of who I am and insist that I be included in the decision making of every major and semi major aspect in his life. If they didn't comply, then I'd take him home with me.

Yeah - I think most judges would keep the kid where he is, too, given his age. I think I actually do remember that eppy.

Like Shale said, I think a judge would keep the child where he is, with visitation to the father.