Personal references...

I have a few questions about this topic, to see what others think.

#1 Do you think they really provide the entity doing the checking any good?

#2 When you have had to give one, do you let the person know you have used them as a reference?

I got a phone call a while back from an auto place (one of those high interest, no money down joints) to verify the home number and address of people I know. These are not close friends, and they did not call me to let me know they used my name. I was put off by the whole thing. First, a person isn't going to list anyone they have any sort of rift with and second, my "friends" should have given me a courtesy call to let me know my name was given.

I discussed this with my guy and he said that personal references are good because if a person can't give any local personal references for something, it proves that they don't really have roots in the area. I think his logic is a bit of a stretch. Thoughts?

It's courteous to ask someone if you want to use them as a reference. I had a similar experience - a friend used me as a reference and gave out my phone number, cell phone number and personal e-mail address. I was quite offended, as I don't give out my cell number to just anyone. It is for friends and family and work ONLY. I haven't seen or heard from her since April and I got a call in Dec. maybe, from someone who wanted a character reference. Problem is, I don't think I could have given her a good one, given the interview was for the Canadian military and she bragged about her drunken exploits and other things she's done. The last time we were together was quite embarrassing, as she lacks social skills and in the middle of a store in the mall, proceeded to loudly bash the husband of a friend of mine and attack him for his beliefs. I know where she's coming from, as the guy is someone I've had struggles with, too, though his wife is wonderful. She was bashing Christianity in a very loud voice and talking as though he represented ALL Christians. I was SO embarrassed as she made no effort to lower her voice. She's one of those people I can take in small doses every now and then, but not to often.

I was quite offended that she used me as a reference without even bothering to ask, esp. given how long it had been since I heard from her. It's rude to do that. I've always checked with people I want to use as references.

RedBedroom wrote:I have a few questions about this topic, to see what others think.

#1 Do you think they really provide the entity doing the checking any good?


Not really. Because seriously, most employers should have the common sense to know that anyone that an applicant puts down as a reference is someone the applicant has a good relationship with. And that person is going to say any and everything to make that applicant look good. It's like, why even bother? You're not going to know the applicant's true character and personality until you hire them anyway. So just hire them based on their qualifications.


#2 When you have had to give one, do you let the person know you have used them as a reference?


For the most part. If I'm applying for a job and I use someone as a reference, I'll tell them to be on the look out for anyone calling them about me. They know what to do. I have excellent references.

I got a phone call a while back from an auto place (one of those high interest, no money down joints) to verify the home number and address of people I know. These are not close friends, and they did not call me to let me know they used my name. I was put off by the whole thing. First, a person isn't going to list anyone they have any sort of rift with and second, my "friends" should have given me a courtesy call to let me know my name was given.


So exactly what did you tell them? Me personally, I would've been like 'fuck it' and gave that person a good recommendation, even if I didn't like them or haven't spoken to them. I'm not the one to jam somebody up like that. People need jobs in this economy.


I discussed this with my guy and he said that personal references are good because if a person can't give any local personal references for something, it proves that they don't really have roots in the area. I think his logic is a bit of a stretch. Thoughts?

It is. What if they just moved to the area?

RedBedroom wrote:I have a few questions about this topic, to see what others think.

#1 Do you think they really provide the entity doing the checking any good?
No and I wish employers weren't so bent on having candidates list two or three references. Depending on the employers, some want two personal/two professional...others don't want any former managers/supervisors (which I think is silly.)

#2 When you have had to give one, do you let the person know you have used them as a reference?
Yes I do, because at least 50% of employers will call up the #'s you list.

I got a phone call a while back from an auto place (one of those high interest, no money down joints) to verify the home number and address of people I know. These are not close friends, and they did not call me to let me know they used my name. I was put off by the whole thing. First, a person isn't going to list anyone they have any sort of rift with and second, my "friends" should have given me a courtesy call to let me know my name was given.

I discussed this with my guy and he said that personal references are good because if a person can't give any local personal references for something, it proves that they don't really have roots in the area. I think his logic is a bit of a stretch. Thoughts?

My overall feeling is that providing the names and phone numbers of past employers/supervisors should really be enough. I shouldn't have to give them my best friends name, phone number (and sometimes address) too.

That "personal references" shit I think is the worst thing about applying for jobs. I once got passed up for a job after the second interview because one of my personal references cell was turned off and I didnt know it, but they called. Why would you take what my best friend got to say about me seriously anyway? Of course they gonna boost me up and lie in my favor. Call up my old manager and see what they gotta say.