Is divorce bad for kids?

It's long been up for debate whether children are better off living with two unhappily married parents or one divorced mom or dad.

Well, as far as kids' health is concerned, it looks like parents are better off sticking it out, if they can. New figures from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention show that children who lived in the same home as their two parents had lower rates of asthma, vision problems, developmental delays, ADHD and migraines, even when wealth and education were factored in, Time.com reports.

Interestingly, the parents didn't have to be married, but they had to live together.

Another study showed that elderly people whose parents were divorced had twice the risk of stroke as people whose parents stayed together. So even when you're in the nursing home, your parents' divorce in fourth grade is still affecting you!

We've never totally understood studies like these. How is it healthy for a kid to grow up in a home where the parents hate each other? They may be less likely to develop asthma, but they're probably more likely to enter into a dysfunctional relationship when it's time for them to get married someday.

Our compromise: If you're going to stay together, find a way to really work things out -- for the sake of your kids.

Shale wrote:Saw a movie today with the same subject as this thread. Blue Valentine.

https://conversationchamber.forumotion.net/t4434-blue-valentine#38862

It is a really good movie if you can stand the reality of it, dealing with a couple breaking up.

Impact wrote: It can be troubling for kids, and it takes an adjustment period, but if the mother and father are mature enough to always put their needs first, kids of divorce will always bounce back.

Forgiveness Man wrote:I'd say it is bad for them if it's not an abusive situation.

thepossiblepolice wrote:

Impact wrote: It can be troubling for kids, and it takes an adjustment period, but if the mother and father are mature enough to always put their needs first, kids of divorce will always bounce back.

I think that's my problem with it, it seems to me that if they were that mature they'd find a way to live happily together in the first place...

BUT I can't be unbiased about this one, as a child of a horrible divorce who didn't see her dad from age 9-25.

I was HAPPY before they got divorced because they never fought in front of me and I thought everything was fine...Then the floor dropped out and everything sucked.

Impact wrote:

thepossiblepolice wrote:


I think that's my problem with it, it seems to me that if they were that mature they'd find a way to live happily together in the first place...

BUT I can't be unbiased about this one, as a child of a horrible divorce who didn't see her dad from age 9-25.

I was HAPPY before they got divorced because they never fought in front of me and I thought everything was fine...Then the floor dropped out and everything sucked.

It's not always that simple. People grow apart, goals change, and frankly the love can dissipate. In order to live happily ever after, there needs to be a certain level of actual happiness there. My ex-wife and I had were together for twelve years, married for nine and have three kids. The first year we assumed we were happy, the second year were okay despite the storm clouds subtly moving in. After that we were miserable. We stayed together because we were both partners in the corporation that was our marriage, which included our kids, and we weren't willing to split off. After a while, it just became impossible to keep pretending that we didn't hate each other.