Social invites excluding children

We have a nice mix of singles and parents here so I thought this would be a good topic. Do people have the right to request "no kids" for any type event, or just certain ones?

Personally, I don't really like getting an adults' only invite. But I get it. It is the right of the person to ask just us, less our son, to attend. I can go or not.

Here is a twist on this...what if you had a ladies or mens night out to a play or live music show and then somebody decides to bring their preteen? Are they making a faux pas, or should the person who got everyone together have made a point of it being "no kids"?

I organized a group of us to attend a play and everyone backed out when they found out one woman was bringing her preteen. Everyone in wanted it to be just us ladies. I wanted it to be just us ladies, but I never specified. And, yeah, I am a tad annoyed, but she is a good friend, and I know we will have a good time.

I think it's generally rude to invite or bring anybody unless it was specified that the invitation was open (children included).

Personally, I'm fine if they want to bring their teenager. Just don't except me to uphold their parental guidelines. I swear, I say inappropriate things, I'm openly sexual. If that's an issue, leave Baby Jane at home. I'm R-rated.

I think there are times when adult only invites are fine, Depends on what is happening.

In the situations with the women wanting to bring a pre-teen, and with others backing out, that's tougher. We were going to have a ladies' night and hang out and watch a movie together. A friend wanted to bring her 6 year old daughter, who talks non-stop during movies. She know her daughter loves hanging out with older people, but that will also limit the movie we chose. Not that we were going for anything R rated, but some of the suggestions we put out, this girl said no to because they were too old for her daughter - and we were talking movies like "The Little Princess" or "The Secret Garden", "Princess Diaries" , maybe a romantic comedy - something like that. This friend and I ran a girl's group awhile back for pre-teen and early teen girls and we had two different movie nights and her daughter's constant questions were a bit of a problem, because she didn't whisper - just blurted things out. I totally know where you're ocming form, though, as we're in the same situation with this woman. It's really awkward.

TSJ, glad to read you understand.

I am trying not to be pissy about it, as I adore my friend, and see her much less than I would like. And her daughter is a good girl. But the whole set up was for us women, and now that is different. I would have gone with a museum night with kids invited had I known.

Since her pre-teen is a daughter, I don't see what the problem is. This should be a great opportunity for her to 'bond' with other positive women. I was a bit of a tomboy growing up, but my mother took me out with her with her girlfriends. No biggie. I liked it. But yeah, everyone has the right to have an "adults only" invite. Children aren't meant to participate in everything. Although I know we as black folks would turn a child's birthday party into an adult one quickfast. Kids' party from 2-6. After 7, put the clowns away and the kiddies to bed, someboy go get a bottle and it's on.

Nystyle709 wrote:Since her pre-teen is a daughter, I don't see what the problem is. This should be a great opportunity for her to 'bond' with other positive women. I was a bit of a tomboy growing up, but my mother took me out with her with her girlfriends. No biggie. I liked it. But yeah, everyone has the right to have an "adults only" invite. Children aren't meant to participate in everything. Although I know we as black folks would turn a child's birthday party into an adult one quickfast. Kids' party from 2-6. After 7, put the clowns away and the kiddies to bed, someboy go get a bottle and it's on.

NY, I always love how you put things! You are right, it is a good time for her to bond with positive women. But, in this instance, I do wish it was adults only, but I do know it will be a great time, nonetheless.

The only time we ever got involved with a no children invited policy was for our wedding and that was my wife's idea because of her side of the family. My side was pretty small and she had underage cousins coming out the ears so it was more of a financial thing because we were paying for our own wedding. It did cause some hard feelings with my father’s sister because see had three kids. But they live in Colorado and my father and her don’t get along so they weren’t really missed. Oh well.

Sorry I can’t give you advice on your situation Red as we’ve never really had that problem. To tell the truth, while I understand that you and your other friends wanted to have a grown-up girl’s night out, unless your one friend’s daughter was going to be a pain in the ass and ruin the play like TSJ’s friend’s daughter could ruin a movie, I don’t see the big deal as long as it was this one time. If she made it a habit, you should find a nice way to tell her that as wonderful as her daughter is (even if she isn’t), everyone else wants some grown up time.

I understand them; I do. People's kids act out and it's unneeded headache. My rents just found that many times, kids DID come. So basically, the "no kids" thing was a bit untrue. (Of course, I was already left home so there wasnt anything they could do.)

RedBedroom wrote:

Nystyle709 wrote:Since her pre-teen is a daughter, I don't see what the problem is. This should be a great opportunity for her to 'bond' with other positive women. I was a bit of a tomboy growing up, but my mother took me out with her with her girlfriends. No biggie. I liked it. But yeah, everyone has the right to have an "adults only" invite. Children aren't meant to participate in everything. Although I know we as black folks would turn a child's birthday party into an adult one quickfast. Kids' party from 2-6. After 7, put the clowns away and the kiddies to bed, someboy go get a bottle and it's on.

NY, I always love how you put things! You are right, it is a good time for her to bond with positive women. But, in this instance, I do wish it was adults only, but I do know it will be a great time, nonetheless.

If everyone was bringing their daughters, then maybe. But just her one daughter there shouldn't disrupt anything. I know my mom and her friends didn't hold back too much when they were together and talking around me.