Do you think that parents should avoid picking up their baby every time he cries, if –from what they can tell– there is nothing wrong? Does not picking up a baby every time he cries help to combat spoiling him?

Yes definetly, I have that going on in my family with 2 of my young nephews, they cry for every little thing and their Mother picks them up and coos and coddles them. I say let them scream their heads off they will learn eventually it dosen't get them anywhere if you leave them alone.

You'd be amazed at how long a frustrated baby can last....but yeah, if nothing's wrong, don't pick them up every time they start to whimper. That makes an impression on them. A 10 month old starts to know what strings to pull with that.

Yes and yes.

Been there. Sometimes you just have to let them wear their darling little asses out.

No, I wouldn't let my child cry it out, that's backwards and pretty cruel. There may be nothing wrong from what a parent can see - they have a clean diaper, they have a full belly, etc., but maybe they just need some love and attention too.

Nope, extended crying has been proven to lead to brain damage. Also children who are picked up consistently when they cry in the first 6 months of life, have been shown to cry less in the second 6 months of life than those who were left to cio.

http://www.drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html

Of course this is one of those debates that will probably never be solved amongst parents, like spanking and pacifiers and breastfeeding and wahm vs sahm...

I personally feel very strongly that CIO is not good for babies, but millions of people disagree.

Well it's a good thing I'm done having kids!

alan smithee wrote:

Well it's a good thing I'm done having kids!

lol, stuff is always changing. I read an article the other day about swaddling being bad for babies, that actually made a lot of sense...I was thinking "darn it, I thought I was doing something good by swaddling them!"

And if I had another baby now, it would be hard for me not to swaddle them because I am set in my ways...

I would not let the child scream bloody murder for a half hour, but if I just put him down a minute ago and he decides to holler again, I wouldn't race to pick him back up. I would wait a few minutes to see if he would be willing to calm down on his own.

it depends on the age of the child. I babysat for a family with a 2 year old and they could never get this child to bed before midnight or so, because they never just let her cry it out. They were amazed that I'd have her in bed by 8 or so, which is when they tried putting her down. The first few times I put her down, she cried for about 5 minutes and then fell asleep. If she'd cried longer than maybe 10 minutes, I'd probably have gotten her up but she only cried for about 5 minutes the first few times and then never again. I tried explaining it to the parents, but they'd always race right in and before you knew it, it would be midnight ot 1AM, according to them.

With babies, though, it's different. I wouldn't let a young baby cry it out but around 6 months or so, I might let them cry a bit before going in to pick them up, if I knew they were okay.

Yeah I have little brothers and sisters and when they were infants my mom and stepdad would calm their cries with picking them up and sneak out when they finally shut up. Hoping they were really sleep. Infants need all that attention but older babies 8+ months have a personality at that point and I think you can put your foot down with more about not caving to their crying.

Picking up and attending to your baby when he's crying won't spoil him. For the first few months, you are getting to know your baby and he is getting used to being in the world. By being responsive to his crying, you are letting your baby know that he is loved and cared for and that will give him security. Once the baby gets about 7 months, that is when you test letting them cry a little longer before catering to it if everything seems okay. Even then I say tread lightly with calling their crying bluff.

femme fatale wrote:

Picking up and attending to your baby when he's crying won't spoil him. For the first few months, you are getting to know your baby and he is getting used to being in the world. By being responsive to his crying, you are letting your baby know that he is loved and cared for and that will give him security. Once the baby gets about 7 months, that is when you test letting them cry a little longer before catering to it if everything seems okay. Even then I say tread lightly with calling their crying bluff.

I agree with that. After about 6 or 7 months, picking them up at every whimper is going to teach them that they have parents trained!