CC33

Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

CC33


+8
TPP
Alan Smithee
Nystyle709
Shale
Supernova
CeCe
Tony Marino
Chris
12 posters

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Chris
    Chris
    Chamber Admin.
    Chamber Admin.


    Male
    Join date : 2010-01-30
    Location : Oak Park, Michigan
    Posts : 23201
    Rep : 330

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Chris Mon Feb 28, 2011 5:30 pm

    TPP's thread inspired me to ask:

    How tolerant of teenage phases and rebellion do you think parents should be? I think, in some way or another, all teenagers go through it; however, it's not always to a noticeable extreme. At what point should parents lay off and what point should they intervene?

    My daughter is thirteen, and while she lets the occasional back-talk comment fall out of her mouth, we haven't had any wardrobe issues or real power struggles with her yet (and I'm hoping it stays that way.)
    Tony Marino
    Tony Marino
    …is a Global Moderator.
    …is a Global Moderator.


    Male
    Join date : 2010-01-31
    Location : New York
    Posts : 26786
    Rep : 607

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Tony Marino Mon Feb 28, 2011 5:33 pm

    Heck just lock them in their room and slip the food under the door! Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. 547405
    Chris
    Chris
    Chamber Admin.
    Chamber Admin.


    Male
    Join date : 2010-01-30
    Location : Oak Park, Michigan
    Posts : 23201
    Rep : 330

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Chris Mon Feb 28, 2011 6:06 pm

    Exactly. Or just take away their cellphone and they won't have any sense of time or direction.
    Tony Marino
    Tony Marino
    …is a Global Moderator.
    …is a Global Moderator.


    Male
    Join date : 2010-01-31
    Location : New York
    Posts : 26786
    Rep : 607

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Tony Marino Mon Feb 28, 2011 6:07 pm

    Chris wrote:Exactly. Or just take away their cellphone and they won't have any sense of time or direction.

    Take away internet connection at home and you have created your own living Zombie!
    CeCe
    CeCe
    …is a Chamber DEITY.
    …is a Chamber DEITY.


    Join date : 2010-06-30
    Posts : 11962
    Rep : 326

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by CeCe Mon Feb 28, 2011 6:26 pm

    Chris wrote:TPP's thread inspired me to ask:

    How tolerant of teenage phases and rebellion do you think parents should be? I think, in some way or another, all teenagers go through it; however, it's not always to a noticeable extreme. At what point should parents lay off and what point should they intervene?

    My daughter is thirteen, and while she lets the occasional back-talk comment fall out of her mouth, we haven't had any wardrobe issues or real power struggles with her yet (and I'm hoping it stays that way.)

    I don't know what it is but thirteen is an almost impossible age. Maybe you will be one of the lucky ones. I wish you the best.
    Chris
    Chris
    Chamber Admin.
    Chamber Admin.


    Male
    Join date : 2010-01-30
    Location : Oak Park, Michigan
    Posts : 23201
    Rep : 330

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Chris Mon Feb 28, 2011 6:30 pm

    For some reason it's fourteen that I'm not looking forward to with her. By then she will be a high school freshman and at a different school; that makes me wonder. It wasn't that long ago that I was that age myself, and can remember my shifting attitude back then.
    CeCe
    CeCe
    …is a Chamber DEITY.
    …is a Chamber DEITY.


    Join date : 2010-06-30
    Posts : 11962
    Rep : 326

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by CeCe Mon Feb 28, 2011 6:34 pm

    Chris wrote:For some reason it's fourteen that I'm not looking forward to with her. By then she will be a high school freshman and at a different school; that makes me wonder. It wasn't that long ago that I was that age myself, and can remember my shifting attitude back then.

    Oh yeah, a new school is a trying experience no matter what age but right there in those early to mid teens is the most difficult.
    Supernova
    Supernova
    The Book Chamber
    The Book Chamber


    Female
    Join date : 2010-06-22
    Posts : 11954
    Rep : 182

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Supernova Mon Feb 28, 2011 6:36 pm

    For me it started at 10 or 11...but I never did anything grandscale, worst thing I did was talk back, express my honest opinion which got me countless guilt trips that start with 'never mind, I'll never ask you to do anything again, I won't bother you again, etc.'

    Now I hope if I have kids that they're like me because I will know what they're going through and I'd be able to answer their questions that nobody could give me when I was that age, not in a mature manner anyway.
    Chris
    Chris
    Chamber Admin.
    Chamber Admin.


    Male
    Join date : 2010-01-30
    Location : Oak Park, Michigan
    Posts : 23201
    Rep : 330

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Chris Mon Feb 28, 2011 6:55 pm

    For me it started later, probably around sixteen or seventeen. I didn't much talk back, but I recall not wanting to be bothered a lot, and answering my parents inquiries very frustratedly and with a short tone. Then I my ex-girlfriend and I became more serious, and well I graduated high school with honors, and a baby on the way.

    That's why I tend to not be so overly strict or critical with my daughter. My mom and dad pushed, were overprotective, while being a bit too frigid in temperament. I don't know if I rebelled, or just found it easy to get too comfortable outside their presence.
    Shale
    Shale
    ...is a Chamber Royal.
    ...is a Chamber Royal.


    Male
    Join date : 2010-09-27
    Location : Miami Beach
    Posts : 9699
    Rep : 219

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Shale Mon Feb 28, 2011 7:46 pm

    I had a teenager in my house for five years, 13 to 18, then we kicked her out. Srsly, we got her an apt, deposit & first month rent then abandoned her (with her BF).

    But there weren't too many rebellions. Smoking pissed me off (but I sneaked around smoking cigarettes as a teen).

    I inherited the girl at 13 and the initial prob was her big lip whenever her mother and I came out of the bedroom after some afternoon delight. We just confronted her that this is what couples do.
    Nystyle709
    Nystyle709
    ...is a 20G Chamber DIETY.
    ...is a 20G Chamber DIETY.


    Female
    Join date : 2010-03-16
    Location : New York
    Posts : 27030
    Rep : 339

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Nystyle709 Mon Feb 28, 2011 7:59 pm

    Chris wrote:TPP's thread inspired me to ask:

    How tolerant of teenage phases and rebellion do you think parents should be? I think, in some way or another, all teenagers go through it; however, it's not always to a noticeable extreme. At what point should parents lay off and what point should they intervene?

    When it becomes disrespectful. In all honesty, teenagers only 'rebel' because of the parents. Either the parents let them get away with everything and thought them doing the little talking back and shit was cute or they're so damn strict and uncompromising that the teenager feels stifled and sees no other way to express him/herself. I'm all prepared for my teenager to not like what I tell them to do/wear, eat, etc even 'acting' out a little bit at school and we can talk about it, but they WILL NOT disrespect me. That shit will get nipped in the bud quick. You have to establish that relationship BEFORE any outside influences can ever intervene. You can try and act bad all you want in front of your friends.....you're going to know better when you're inside of my four walls.
    Alan Smithee
    Alan Smithee
    ...is a 20G Chamber DIETY.
    ...is a 20G Chamber DIETY.


    Male
    Join date : 2010-09-03
    Location : 40º44’18.33”N 73º58’31.82”W
    Posts : 25792
    Rep : 381

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Alan Smithee Mon Feb 28, 2011 8:15 pm

    We were lucky I guess. I don't think our daughter was any more rebellious then a typical teenager testing the boundaries of blossoming independence. She still had boundaries but they were expanded. I think a big mistake parents can make is trying to be more of a friend to their kid than a parent.
    TPP
    TPP
    …is a Power Member.
    …is a Power Member.


    Female
    Join date : 2010-12-22
    Posts : 1497
    Rep : 69

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by TPP Mon Feb 28, 2011 11:36 pm

    None of my kids are teenagers yet, I think it'll probably be pretty rough when we have two 11 yos, a 13 yo, a 16 yo and an 18 yo in the house. That's just a lot of hormones.

    I'm just doing the best that I know how to do, asking for professional help when I DON'T know what to do, and trying to be consistent and I'm hoping that it will pay off in no one homeless, dead, addicted to drugs,a teenage parent, or a high school drop out. Or arrested.

    As long as those things don't happen and everyone is healthy and happy at the end of the teen years then I think I won't have any complaints! I hope!
    Impact
    Impact
    …is a Power Member.
    …is a Power Member.


    Male
    Join date : 2010-01-31
    Location : Rochester, MN
    Posts : 2570
    Rep : 75

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Impact Tue Mar 01, 2011 1:06 am

    I'm a few years away from dealing with the terrible teens, but I would be tolerant to a point, while remaining on the defense. As soon as their rebellion started to become distracting, it's time to put your foot down and assume control.
    RedBedroom
    RedBedroom
    …is a Chamber DEITY.
    …is a Chamber DEITY.


    Female
    Join date : 2010-02-18
    Posts : 10696
    Rep : 312

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by RedBedroom Tue Mar 01, 2011 12:48 pm

    I think that the biggest thing is to not freak out to news of something minor happening. I think that it is probably so easy for a kid to decide to stop confiding in/communicating to a parent at the first sign of a parent being uneasy at some sort of news.

    So, if he were to do something rebellious, I wouldn't want to fly off the handle in fear that it would cause a stop to our good communication. And a big part of it is letting him know what the expectations are from a young age so that if and when he does something stupid that goes against set expectations, I can calmly tell him that he messed up and will suffer xyz consequences.

    And that is idealistic probably, that it will always be a calm exchange. I just hope that he stays as good as he is now when he gets into his teens.
    Suzi
    Suzi
    …is a Power Member.
    …is a Power Member.


    Female
    Join date : 2011-03-01
    Location : BC, Canada
    Posts : 1529
    Rep : 85

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Suzi Tue Mar 01, 2011 11:54 pm

    I still get the galloping shudders thinking about 3 teenagers at one time. Shoulda taken Times advise on the subject at the time, he said we ought to put them in a barrel and feed them through the bung hole until they were 21. Guess I should also say our baby turned 50 Feb 13th. big grin
    Shale
    Shale
    ...is a Chamber Royal.
    ...is a Chamber Royal.


    Male
    Join date : 2010-09-27
    Location : Miami Beach
    Posts : 9699
    Rep : 219

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Shale Wed Mar 02, 2011 1:12 am

    Suzi wrote:... he said we ought to put them in a barrel and feed them through the bung hole until they were 21. ...
    My teen daughter inspired a sci-fi story concept that I titled "Crysalis". I never got it finished but the theme is these scientist were too busy to have a kid so they carried it in a tank - just they never stopped and the kid was late teens still in the tank.

    Anyhow that story came about when I realized how lucky some bugs are because their offspring come out of a cocoon fully developed and fly away.
    Nhaiyel
    Nhaiyel
    …is a Power Member.
    …is a Power Member.


    Female
    Join date : 2010-02-02
    Location : Jersey (West Orange)
    Posts : 3137
    Rep : 123

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Nhaiyel Wed Mar 02, 2011 2:49 am

    I don't have children, and so I can't offer any experience-based perspective. My general opinion is that by the time a child becomes a teenager, their parents should know them well enough to be able to know when to interfere and when to dismiss. The child has been going through phases all of their life by the time they reach that dreaded 13-16 year old stage.
    Suzi
    Suzi
    …is a Power Member.
    …is a Power Member.


    Female
    Join date : 2011-03-01
    Location : BC, Canada
    Posts : 1529
    Rep : 85

    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Suzi Wed Mar 02, 2011 3:10 am

    Nhaiyel wrote:I don't have children, and so I can't offer any experience-based perspective. My general opinion is that by the time a child becomes a teenager, their parents should know them well enough to be able to know when to interfere and when to dismiss. The child has been going through phases all of their life by the time they reach that dreaded 13-16 year old stage.
    There in lays the problem, by the time they are teenagers the parents know them very well! Puberty does a job on them all in one way or another, and what ever little annoying habits are intensified.

    Sponsored content


    Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion. Empty Re: Tolerating teenage phases and rebellion.

    Post by Sponsored content


      Current date/time is Fri Nov 22, 2024 11:56 pm