Grandparents influences and "rights"

I got a 2 part question:

1) If you have kids, do you ever object to their grandparents influence on them? Either your parents or their other grandparents. In my family it's a big thing, because my momma and my fathers mother don't get along. My momma always for my daddy's sake "tolerated" his mothers presence, but my grandma is very very old school and has very very old school ideas about male and female "places" that my momma had a problem with.

2) Do you believe in grandparents "rights" when it comes to things like visitation and even how to raise the child?

When I was younger and my parents moved away, I swore I wouldn't let them within 10 feet of my kids. Then they changed...I've forgiven and they are allowed to be around them, but I haven't forgotten and I do keep a close eye on their interaction with my kids.

I think they have a right to offer up advice, but not be disgruntled if it is not taken.

Grandparents should be able to see grandchildren if the relationship is good between all, but ultimately it is the parents' call.

I do feel very sad for grandparents who are not allowed to see the kids when on of the parents are out of the picture, and the parent in the picture withholds visitation just to be a jerk.

I hate when kids get used like pieces of a gameboard regardless of who's doing it.

CeCe wrote:I hate when kids get used like pieces of a gameboard regardless of who's doing it.

For the second part of the question, I think that it's up to the parents, but I also think that grandparents should have SOME rights to their grandchildren. It breaks my heart to think of grandparents not being allowed to have at least supervised visits with their grandchildren.

My parents don't try to exert any undo influence onto my kids. They know their roles and place. Their mothers parents on the other hand....

They can offer their input and help out when they want but for the most part, need to know their place. They're grandparents. That doesn't and shouldn't mean they are obligated to raise their kids' kid's.

My kids live nowhere near their grandparents, so their grandparents have never really had any influence on them. I can count on one hand the number of times my 15yo has seen my parents. We used to visit with their dad's parents 2-3 times a year (lengthy visits...like a couple of weeks), but that slowed down considerably after the divorce. I have neither the time nor the funding to send them for visits, and the grandparents have never offered to come see us. (Their dad doesn't seem particularly concerned about his kids and his parents spending time together....heck, HE hasn't even seen our kids in about 18 months.)

I don't know how I feel about grandparents' rights. I think it's sad if a loving grandparent is barred from seeing a grandchild, but then I wonder why a loving individual would be barred from seeing a grandchild. Unless a parent is highly dysfunctional in some way (schizophrenic, on drugs, etc), I doubt he or she would cut off contact with his or her own parents without good reason. You reap what you sow; if you were a douchebag to your kids, don't expect them to welcome you with open arms just because they produced more people who carry your DNA.

My parents are so stereotypical when it comes to my daughter; in that where they were were strict/critical of my sisters and I growing up, they are completely relaxed and (more) affectionate with her. When she was born, they were scrutinizing of everything, as far as how her mother and I were parenting her (but we were only eighteen years old at the time, so it was necessary to some degree.) Her other grandparents are equally as patient and devoted, and probably more 'hands-on,' but that is because her mother involves them more.

My parents are rather stereotypical when it comes to my daughter; in that despite how they were were strict/critical of my sisters and I growing up, they are completely relaxed and (more) affectionate with her. Her other grandparents are equally as patient and devoted, and probably more 'hands-on,' but that is because her mother involves them more.