HomeIf a couple doesn't want any more kids, which is the more practical method of ensuring it....her getting her tubes tied or him getting a vasectomy? Personally I would never get a vasectomy, because it's my understanding that they're permanent, and even if I didn't want any more kids....I still wouldn't want to be unable to produce them. On the other hand, it's my understanding that a woman can have her tubes untied if she decided she wanted another baby.
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Nystyle709
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Vasectomy vs. Tubes Tied
Marc™- …is a Chamber DEITY.
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2xy- …is an Up 'N Comer.
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Both procedures are reversible, but tubes have a higher rate of reversibility. Scar tissue can cause problems in either case.
I don't think anyone should go into surgical sterilization with the mentality that it can just be "undone" later. If you're going to be sterilized, you should think of it as permanent. If you think you "might" want more kids later, another form of birth control is a better option.
I don't understand why you wouldn't want to be unable to produce children if you didn't want any more kids? That sounds rather silly, and I don't think I would ever get involved with a man who had that mentality.
I don't think anyone should go into surgical sterilization with the mentality that it can just be "undone" later. If you're going to be sterilized, you should think of it as permanent. If you think you "might" want more kids later, another form of birth control is a better option.
I don't understand why you wouldn't want to be unable to produce children if you didn't want any more kids? That sounds rather silly, and I don't think I would ever get involved with a man who had that mentality.
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2xy wrote:I don't understand why you wouldn't want to be unable to produce children if you didn't want any more kids? That sounds rather silly, and I don't think I would ever get involved with a man who had that mentality.
Sorry. I couldn't follow that. Anyway, I had a vasetcomy when my wife and I were almost 40 and decided we were done having children. I know I was. If she hadn't been sure, I probably wouldn't have but it worked out fine for us and I have no regrets.
Last edited by alan smithee on Fri Mar 25, 2011 12:31 am; edited 1 time in total
2xy- …is an Up 'N Comer.
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He said he wouldn't want to be unable to produce children, even if he knew he didn't want more children. That makes no sense to me. Sounds like some sort of macho B.S.
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I would never do anything permanent to my body to prevent kids, though my son's father has. He is done. But I am not prepared to make that life long commitment.
I would have to have several kids to even have tubes tied as a thought.
I would have to have several kids to even have tubes tied as a thought.
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alan smithee wrote:Sorry. I couldn't follow that. Anyway, I had a vasetcomy when my wife and I were almost 40 and decided we were done having children. I know I was. If she hadn't been sure, I probably wouldn't have but it worked out fine for us and I have no regrets.
My boys' dad had a vasectomy when the little one was 2.5. No regrets. We split up when the boys were 13 and 9. I wound up getting a tubal that year before my insurance ran out. No regrets.
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Years ago, in the budding sexual revolution with no fatal diseases to worry about I was fucking around with lots of girls (who most were on birth control pills but some I knew were too ditzy or stoned to do it right).
I decided I didn't want kids so went to Planned Parenthood in New Orleans to get a vasectomy. I was in my 20s and unmarried which did not fit the demographic (you needed your spouses approval then). So, the MD sent me to a psychiatrist to sign off on my desire to be sterilized. At that point I gave it up.
To this day I suspect a couple of kids MIGHT be mine out there. But no one is the wiser so I guess it all worked out OK.
I decided I didn't want kids so went to Planned Parenthood in New Orleans to get a vasectomy. I was in my 20s and unmarried which did not fit the demographic (you needed your spouses approval then). So, the MD sent me to a psychiatrist to sign off on my desire to be sterilized. At that point I gave it up.
To this day I suspect a couple of kids MIGHT be mine out there. But no one is the wiser so I guess it all worked out OK.
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Use birth control. I don't like the idea of being 'fixed' either. That's what you do to dogs.
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The man getting snipped is much safer than a woman getting her tubes tied and it's less invasive, so I think that's better. It's all up to the individual though. When I had the twins, if I had a c-section, I would have had it done since we would have been in there anyway. I didn't have a section so I didn't get it done, and my husband wants to get snipped but I'm still hesitant so we'll see.
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Call me macho all you like, I would never be "fixed." If I live to be 100 years old, on the day that I died I would want to know that the juice in my balls could still fertilize eggs.
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Mine still work just fineNystyle709 wrote:Use birth control. I don't like the idea of being 'fixed' either. That's what you do to dogs.
. It's only the delivery system that's been altered. I did't want to have a kid that people will think is my grandson and by that I mean I did't want to have to raise any more babies at my age. I'm done. To each their own. If you know you are (done having kids), it's very liberating. If that woman doctor who inseminated herself with the proceeds of a blow job tried that with me, I'd be laughing in her face.
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alan smithee wrote:Mine still work just fineNystyle709 wrote:Use birth control. I don't like the idea of being 'fixed' either. That's what you do to dogs.. It's only the delivery system that's been altered. I did't want to have a kid that people will think is my grandson and by that I mean I did't want to have to raise any more babies at my age. I'm done. To each their own. If you know you are (done having kids), it's very liberating. If that woman doctor who inseminated herself with the proceeds of a blow job tried that with me, I'd be laughing in her face.
. And I can just imagine the look on your face if SOMEHOW on God's green Earth some rogue sperm managed to make it's way out and become fertile. I can understand the reasons, but I dunno.....I guess I see how a person with 5+ kids would consider that option, but not for someone with only has one or who has zero kids. A very good friend of mine is seriously considering a vasectomy and he doesn't have any children....but he does want to get married. What if him and his wife wants a child together? You say you're not going to change your mind, but what if you do? I just don't see how you know how you're going to feel in 10, 20, 30 yrs. Yeah, it's reversible but why go through all that? But.......different strokes, different folks.
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We only have one child but she was when we were in our 30s and I waited until we were sure she was the only one we could intentionally have. I think your friend is making a mistake though. If he does go through with it maybe he should see about making a little "deposit" at the bank just in case he changes his mind.
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alan smithee wrote:We only have one child but she was when we were in our 30s and I waited until we were sure she was the only one we could intentionally have. I think your friend is making a mistake though. If he does go through with it maybe he should see about making a little "deposit" at the bank just in case he changes his mind.
I told him that. He didn't even consider it.
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Jason B. wrote:Call me macho all you like, I would never be "fixed." If I live to be 100 years old, on the day that I died I would want to know that the juice in my balls could still fertilize eggs.
WHY? I don't get it. Women aren't fertile when they're 100 years old. Why do you have to be?
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Nystyle709 wrote:I guess I see how a person with 5+ kids would consider that option, but not for someone with only has one or who has zero kids. A very good friend of mine is seriously considering a vasectomy and he doesn't have any children....but he does want to get married. What if him and his wife wants a child together?[/b]
People who don't want children shouldn't marry someone who wants children.
I have two kids. The "baby" will be 16 this year and I'm 40. The last thing in the world I want is to start all over again. I was a mama at 21 and I love my boys with all my heart, but I'm ready to start living for ME now.
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2xy wrote:I don't understand why you wouldn't want to be unable to produce children if you didn't want any more kids? That sounds rather silly, and I don't think I would ever get involved with a man who had that mentality.
I wasn't going to ask you out anyway, but okay....
2xy wrote:He said he wouldn't want to be unable to produce children, even if he knew he didn't want more children. That makes no sense to me. Sounds like some sort of macho B.S.
It is not "macho B.S." for a man to not want any physical part of himself permanently stifled. Furthermore, people tend to change their minds with time. Today I may feel I don't want any more kids....but 10 to 15 years from now, I could be in a whole other place, one that is willing to have....or flatout wanting more. And while a vasectomy "can" be reversed, there's no guarantee that the army can be repopulated after its been starved out. Like you said, anyone who seeks to be "fixed" should resolve it being permanent, because it likely will be. If a man gets himself fixed and later on has 2nd thoughts about not wanting (more) children, then chances are he's pretty SOL.
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Well, I hope they find a cure for menopause soon, because y'know....I want to be able to have a baby when I'm 82. 
Your original position was "if I knew I didn't want any more kids," not " if I didn't want more kids right now but I might someday." It really doesn't make sense to me to be anti-sterilization if you KNOW you don't want any more kids. I KNOW I don't want any more kids; there will be no changing of minds.
Your original position was "if I knew I didn't want any more kids," not " if I didn't want more kids right now but I might someday." It really doesn't make sense to me to be anti-sterilization if you KNOW you don't want any more kids. I KNOW I don't want any more kids; there will be no changing of minds.
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2xy wrote:Nystyle709 wrote:I guess I see how a person with 5+ kids would consider that option, but not for someone with only has one or who has zero kids. A very good friend of mine is seriously considering a vasectomy and he doesn't have any children....but he does want to get married. What if him and his wife wants a child together?[/b]
People who don't want children shouldn't marry someone who wants children.
LOL. I said what if they changed their minds and did want a child together? I didn't say he shouldn't marry someone who doesn't want children.
I have two kids. The "baby" will be 16 this year and I'm 40. The last thing in the world I want is to start all over again. I was a mama at 21 and I love my boys with all my heart, but I'm ready to start living for ME now.
That's nice. That works for you. The same person in your position might decide to change their mind later. Do you know that it can happen?
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Nystyle709 wrote:That's nice. That works for you. The same person in your position might decide to change their mind later. Do you know that it can happen?
If you change your mind, then you don't KNOW that you don't want more kids. People who aren't certain should certainly not be sterilized. But people who are certain can be certain no matter how many kids they currently have (or don't have). There are people out there who don't like kids and never want to have any, and they should not be denied permanent sterilization on some arbitrary criteria that other people establish, nor be talked about like they are freaks. I don't have five kids so I shouldn't have gotten my tubes tied? Ridiculous.
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2xy wrote:Nystyle709 wrote:That's nice. That works for you. The same person in your position might decide to change their mind later. Do you know that it can happen?
If you change your mind, then you don't KNOW that you don't want more kids. People who aren't certain should certainly not be sterilized. But people who are certain can be certain no matter how many kids they currently have (or don't have). There are people out there who don't like kids and never want to have any, and they should not be denied permanent sterilization on some arbitrary criteria that other people establish, nor be talked about like they are freaks. I don't have five kids so I shouldn't have gotten my tubes tied? Ridiculous.
*sighs*. That's exactly I'm talking about dear. You can say you KNOW you don't want any more kids right now, but my point is is that it's possible what you KNOW right now may not be the same in a few years. You might not feel the same in due time, no matter how much you think are certain you won't do something. And if you need clarification, I'm not talking about you specifically. I'm sure people who opt for vasectomies and tubal litigation were certain about their choices too and then there are those who come to regret it. And where you get the notion that anyone was saying anyone who opts to have the procedures done should be denied to do so, I have no idea. You can have your tubes tied for any reason you want to. Perhaps if you quoted the rest of my post, you'd see that I also said 'different strokes for different folks'. So no, I won't 'talk about someone like they were freaks' for having the procedures done. They're entitled. I just don't personally like the idea of it. Is that okay with you?
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2xy wrote:Nystyle709 wrote:That's nice. That works for you. The same person in your position might decide to change their mind later. Do you know that it can happen?
If you change your mind, then you don't KNOW that you don't want more kids. People who aren't certain should certainly not be sterilized. But people who are certain can be certain no matter how many kids they currently have (or don't have). ...
As mentioned earlier I decided I didn't want kids and I was in my 20s and unmarried. The runaround was too much and I didn't get the vasectomy. I am now an old grampa (by my stepdaughter) and my decision is the same. I never wanted to be a father - altho I filled in that role a few times with kids.
On the other hand there are at least a couple of cases where I wonder to this day if I did not father children. Had they given me that snip I would not be wonderaing about that.
So, I think a person knows for a lifetime if they want or don't want to have kids. And if you do have a change of mind, take in one or more of the many, many kids in this world without parents.
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Nystyle709 wrote:Perhaps if you quoted the rest of my post, you'd see that I also said 'different strokes for different folks'. So no, I won't 'talk about someone like they were freaks' for having the procedures done. They're entitled. I just don't personally like the idea of it. Is that okay with you?
Nystle709 wrote:Use birth control. I don't like the idea of being 'fixed' either. That's what you do to dogs.
Are you truly telling me you don't see any judgement in the above remark? I'm an animal for having a tubal? I should, instead, dump synthetic hormones into my body until I hit menopause?
Aside from the environmental impact of "the pill" (all those hormones have to go somewhere after leaving your body...mostly into our water supply), I might add that my oldest child was conceived while using "the pill," which is why I was a mama at 21.
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I would rather let menopause eventually catch up with me than to have my tubes tied. It took me 17 years after I started menstruating at 11 years old to become pregnant for the first time, so I'm not too worried about becoming a machine that pops out babies left and right.
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2xy wrote:Nystyle709 wrote:Perhaps if you quoted the rest of my post, you'd see that I also said 'different strokes for different folks'. So no, I won't 'talk about someone like they were freaks' for having the procedures done. They're entitled. I just don't personally like the idea of it. Is that okay with you?Nystle709 wrote:Use birth control. I don't like the idea of being 'fixed' either. That's what you do to dogs.
Are you truly telling me you don't see any judgement in the above remark?
Fair enough. I can see why you would assume that. However, you do 'fix' dogs to keep them from breeding don't you? So you gotta do the same for a human being? That's exactly what tubal litigation and vasectomies do. How I personally feel about it has nothing to with you or is in any way me judging you. I was being 'funny' anyway.
I'm an animal for having a tubal?
Well, you are a human. So yes, you are an animal. In the negative connotation that you are trying to convey however, nope. Get a tubal. My aunt had one too after five children. I know several others. I don't 'judge' them. *Kanye shrug*
I should, instead, dump synthetic hormones into my body until I hit menopause?
Who said taking birth control pills were the only methods of birth control? The original question asked which was the better option for people who don't want children. I offered another besides the permanent one.
Aside from the environmental impact of "the pill" (all those hormones have to go somewhere after leaving your body...mostly into our water supply), I might add that my oldest child was conceived while using "the pill," which is why I was a mama at 21.
I've never been on the pill and don't intend to get on it either. And in the past 13 yrs since I've lost my virginity, I've never gotten pregnant. There are other methods of birth control besides the permanent option. There are other ways to prevent having kids besides the permanent option. So in my oh so humble opinion, I wouldn't go that drastic route to prevent myself from having any children or any more children no matter how strong my conviction would be at the time not to have any or any more. I like being able to keep my options open. That's my personal choice. I don't see why others wouldn't want the same. Hence the phrase 'different strokes for different folks'. No matter how strong or certain your conviction is at a certain period in time, it can change. That was my whole point and one of the reasons why I, and others on here, said that we wouldn't do it. Why do you fail to see the logic in that? "Some macho B.S. mentality" seems to be your own personal judgement of those who are against it for that very reason.
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